To think that when you're using play equipment in the park it's rude for parents to stand next to you waiting for you to finish

[Qedwai]

I'm wondering if I'm the only one who hates this or if I'm being unreasonable.

When I'm in the park with my Sons and we want to go on something we play on something else until it's free and then quickly go on it once it becomes available. We don't stand right next to the parent and child waiting for them to get off! If we know something is really popular we will only stay on 5 mins so that everyone gets a chance to play.

One thing I've noticed consistently, is that there are a small number of parents who will stand right next to you with their child, literally waiting for you to get off the equipment. In the process, making you feel rushed and uncomfortable. Especially if they make a big deal of the fact they are waiting by saying stuff like 'won't be long now and you can go on once this boy has got off'.

Today I was in a large, fairly busy park and I put my Son in the swing. I had only just put him in when a woman went right behind me and said to her daughter 'we will go on once this boy has finished' she then proceeded to stand still, right next to me, with a grumpy face until we took our Son out of the swing'.

It's something I would never ever do. I think it's rude and unnecessary. Standing nearby is different but right next to the person is rude.

If a park is so busy it's necessary to queue for things I suppose that's different, but i'm not talking about parks like that. Just normal parks.

I know I probably am being a bit unreasonable but it's happened a few times now, and it's really getting on my nerves.

I think it's normal for a very young child, too

I honestly think Pearlman aim was to antagonise. Moat people have gotten so angry because Pearlman has posted such emotive, hostile and provocative options; I'm proud that fellow m'netters have felt the need to show they won't stand for such awful attitudes.

's Most opinions sigh

Rtt 😴 sigh ... Although you can't read the awful comments that were deleted. Surely, this many posters being up in arms would tell you that nobody disagrees with what your saying Lucie. Goodnight all

LucieLucie if you can call the parents of sn children 'the sn brigade's' in addition to 'pc morons' and describing our genuine upset as us making it an 'autistic issue' then I can complete my mn line of disabilist bingo. Woo!

Because of posters like you lucielucie
That's why.

Well in an ideal world lucies comment would have been deleted quickly but will just wait

chancesare thanks for the nice words :) but not really my 'grain of sand' . I wasn't first to bring up ASD. But indeed when people brought it up...and it's their lives not a 'grain of sand' to them..It should have been respected.

Pearlman has the same attitude as those who have a go at disabled people without a wheelchair who use accessible toilets. Or those who have a go at people who use a bb space ( with a bb) but can walk. Or those that glare and make rude comments at my son for making noises or banging or biting himself when we are in cafes. Or make the 'too big for that ' comments when they see he has a buggy or wears a nappy or plays on the younger children's play equipment.

Sorry Gottaget I was paraphrasing Pearlmans several posts. Needanother has explained it much better than I could

Thanks..NeedAnother's post did explain it.
My children don't have SN.... but I have waited with them for a turn on play equipment, but never aggressively! Sometimes the person whose child is on it will get annoyed but it's rare. Most people want every child to get a fair turn.
A decent person would be calm.about it regardless of whether the waiting child had SN or not.
There may be impatient people waiting who tend to get frustrated and show it but I think that's rare.

Lucie the daily fail is that way --->

has the same attitude as those who have a go at disabled people without a wheelchair who use accessible toilets. Or those who have a go at people who use a bb space ( with a bb) but can walk. Or those that glare and make rude comments at my son for making noises or banging or biting himself when we are in cafes. Or make the 'too big for that ' comments when they see he has a buggy or wears a nappy or plays on the younger children's play equipment.

I think I used to be one of these people - not a total twat about it (I hope, anyway) but just having little personal experience of disability, and a little too inclined to make sweeping judgements based on brief and superficial observations.

Then I started reading Mumsnet, and the experiences some of you have kindly shared have raised my awareness and, frankly, made me a rather better human being! Thankyou.

Not sure why lucies post is still here

Lucie's post has gone now.

What is abundantly clear from the likes of Pearlman and Lucie, is that there really is a lack of understanding of what disablism even is.
Those vociferous words insisting that what they are saying is not disablist when they really are.

Thank you for your post Puntastic. I don't expect people to automatically know everything, but it's the willingness to listen to other people and reevaluate your own opinions and behaviour - that's what is needed and is sorely lacking from some posters.

If a few more parents go to the park and see a parent giving that constant assurance to their child that it will be their time soon, and rather than get irritated or take the behaviour as a personal insult, they think beyond themselves and think 'that child might need that level of support', and just smile, maybe let them know that you'll be a few minutes, or just carry on as normal and finish your turn as normal - without feeling the need to moan about the other parent and child - that will be a small step forward.

When someone does something different to you, it isn't always about you, it's more likely to be about their needs.

Fanjo just a sliver of reassurance for you with the 'running past'
My eldest does this..... To bagsie the space for the child taking a bit longer to get over to the equipment he will then wait patiently until after they have had a turn. I now realise he is being passive aggressive in doing this though
I have never knowingly encouraged this level of playground vigilanteism but it's something he likes to do to help.

Aww he sounds lovely. Wish more kids were like him

Years ago on MN I was told that as a white person, it wasn't up to me to determine what was or wasn't offensive to a black person. We were in agreement that something was offensive btw.
I take that on board. I can see the obviously racist stuff but there will be nuanced stuff that unless I have the relevant background I might not understand.
I think this argument about disablism needs to be framed in those terms.

My DC are all NT (as far as we know). Nonetheless I have spent many hours over the last eight years standing near-ish to playground equipment saying "this little boy is having his turn now, and then it'll be your turn - isn't he swinging high! Do you want to swing high or just gently? Yes it's your turn next; it's this little boy's turn just now" etc etc because that's parenting. I would probably assume that any child much over 5yo who needed continual coaching through a queue had additional needs of some kind, but any child of playground age sometimes needs the informal queue pointing out!

Obviously remarks like "oh, I know, you've been waiting soooooo long while this nasty little boy has been having more than his fair turn" would be passive aggressive and aimed at the offending adult, but that isn't what the OP described and I don't think I've ever witnessed it.

Agree completely Giddy & "MrsHathaway*

Feral your boy sounds lovely and very considerate. I bet you are proud of him.

Hope so

And hope the people who were defending them think on it.