To think that when you're using play equipment in the park it's rude for parents to stand next to you waiting for you to finish

[Qedwai]

I'm wondering if I'm the only one who hates this or if I'm being unreasonable.

When I'm in the park with my Sons and we want to go on something we play on something else until it's free and then quickly go on it once it becomes available. We don't stand right next to the parent and child waiting for them to get off! If we know something is really popular we will only stay on 5 mins so that everyone gets a chance to play.

One thing I've noticed consistently, is that there are a small number of parents who will stand right next to you with their child, literally waiting for you to get off the equipment. In the process, making you feel rushed and uncomfortable. Especially if they make a big deal of the fact they are waiting by saying stuff like 'won't be long now and you can go on once this boy has got off'.

Today I was in a large, fairly busy park and I put my Son in the swing. I had only just put him in when a woman went right behind me and said to her daughter 'we will go on once this boy has finished' she then proceeded to stand still, right next to me, with a grumpy face until we took our Son out of the swing'.

It's something I would never ever do. I think it's rude and unnecessary. Standing nearby is different but right next to the person is rude.

If a park is so busy it's necessary to queue for things I suppose that's different, but i'm not talking about parks like that. Just normal parks.

I know I probably am being a bit unreasonable but it's happened a few times now, and it's really getting on my nerves.

People stand next to each other.

It's not a big deal.

I just tell my child, 'you've got 5 minutes as someone else is waiting' so they can hear and smile at them to acknowledge we are taking a turn, they are next but we won't be rushed. It may be 2-3 mins in a busy park.

If we know something is really popular we will only stay on 5 mins so that everyone gets a chance to play.

YABU. How would you know something is popular unless people wait next to it?

Are you psychic?

Op yanbu, this behaviour of boldly and vocally standing right next to you as you play with your child on a swing is to pressurise you into moving on quickly regardless of what people claim.
A psychologist would agree I'm sure.

I hate this type of thing where people get in my space and personally, if it happened to me and some entitled parent came over and stood boldly saying to their child 'you'll get on in a minute when this boy gets off' just as my child got on the swing I'd turn round and say "Actually no, he'll be longer than that so if you like to give us room here we'll give you a shout when he's about to come off"

You want stealth queuing in playgrounds?

I mean, I am willing to be corrected here.

You don't sound it.

Standing at someone's elbow while they try and push their child on the swing is rude. As is, tutting, sighing and rolling your eyes. If this is what you're talking about YANBU.

Queueing for the swing is not unreasonable though, neither is explaining to your child 'we'll have a go in a minute', 'it's your turn after this little boy' etc.

YABU. The swings tend to be the most popular in a park and ime if you don't queue then someone else will while your child is waiting on another piece of equipment or another child will run to it before yours and they end up waiting and waiting. If it's something a child really wants to go on and they are happy to wait a few minutes then it makes sense to queue imo.

yabu. Kids like to go on certain equipment so will wait by it! It is not YOUR park! I also don't see what is wrong with parents telling their child they can have a go on the swing when the other child is finished?! I have always said this to my children so that they understand that they can't just go barging onto something when someone else is using it and that they will have to wait patiently. I will also say to my child...you've got five minutes as someone else is waiting. The thing is in a busy park 10 minutes of wait time for a child is a forever!

My son has autism. You wouldn't know it to look at him. It means that turn-taking is extremely hard for him. Excruciating when he was little and at the park. So you would often hear me coaching him through what was going on:

That boy is having his turn
We can have a turn in a minute
Let's watch that girl having fun, then we can have some fun

And yes, I'd hover because if someone nipped in in front of him then hell would actually need to be paid.

YNBU . Play on something else till it's free. I don't like feeling pressurised to moving on. It's a park wait your turn. Don't know "what one of those mums " mean !

YANBU. It's the yummy mummies who talk loudly, ostensibly to their kids but really so the world can hear, that totally piss me off. If there's other play equipment vacant why not let their kid use that. What young child would come up with the idea "I won't enjoy the vacant slide/roundabout/climbing frame, I'll go and get very bored waiting for the swing". Such a Clapham Common attitude.

I stood near my 8 year old dgd at the park as she waited on the take off platform to use the zip line. A group of 4 or 5 children aged about 7, 8, 9 also were on the platform having several goes at a time and not handing it over one turn at a time.. Even then when they'd all had turns it went back to the first, ignoring Dgd who was expecting a queue to work.

Eventually I went over and said.....ok boys and girls can we take turns so it's fair and everyone has fun, dgd it's your turn now.

One of the older boys eyeballed me muttering something bold and two ladies nearby gave me a bit of a look but sometimes we just gotta stick up for our own.

Maybe we should all take that attitude when we get our shopping? Don't wait by the till pressurising the person in front to hurry just find something else to do in the supermarket until everyone's packed and left and if people keep going ahead of you and you have to wait ages then who cares so long as you don't stand close to anyone!

Yummy mummies? Clapham Common?

Wise up.

I get the bit where you said about parents pushing for their kids' turn. It's bloody annoying when your child has been waiting for a go on the playground equipment, and then that mum comes along pushing you to hurry along.
As adults we don't have to rush all the time - so why do kids?
I do try let my DS try figure it out himself, but sometimes, due to other pushy parents piss takers I have to help out the negotiations in tricky playground politics

So when you say "I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable..." what you mean is "I'm not be unreasonable and I'd like you all to agree with me please" because you do t seem to want to take on board any other point of view!

I'd probably wait by the equipment because;

1. You'd lose your place in the queue otherwise
2. My little one might not want to go on anything else if he had his heart set on it (but if I could persuade him I would as waiting around is boring)

1 and especially 2 bear no relation to how busy the park is. Could both be equally necessary in a quiet park (even if there's not a queue, no guarantee someone won't come along just at the right time - depends how by the park is and how quickly you can get there when it becomes free)

If I was waiting around, I probably would say things such as "just wait until this girl has finished" etc as if I'm waiting, he's super keen and I need to manage his expectations.

Chill out, enjoy the swing and get off in a reasonable time. Why would it bother you that other want a go on the public equipment as well? Maybe start a conversation with the other parent of it bothers you that much with just a "we won't be long, but she's only just got on. Nice weather today..."

YABU - the queue is normal behaviour and the verbalising is because the parent is teaching the child about how to wait patiently. It doesn't just happen, they need practise.

In most of our local parks you'd have to get out there at 4am to find it sufficiently free of people to use your system. Queuing is a necessity when it's busy ...which it always is.

I've done this several times whilst our visits to the park with my 2.5yr old nephew.
He's not at the age where he can stand patiently and wait, he will often proceed to climb up the slide or push the other children off the equipment so he can go on it! Once he's decided he wants to go on something, he refuses to move onto anything else.
I do have to keep grabbing him and tell him to stand nicely and wait his turn.
I don't mean to make anyone feel uncomfortable I just want to teach him to share and stop him from getting in everyone else's way.
I've been on the opposite side as well obviously and sometimes do feel pressured to move on faster, so I do sympathise with OP..but we live in London so sometimes a queue is the only way everyone gets a fair go.
If you can't beat them, join them! We brits do love a queue it's never too early to train them

YANBU. I agree with you, actually.

I think some people are deliberately missing the point, but that's AIBU for you.

I've never had anyone stand right next to me, grumpy-faced and making pointed comments, while waiting their turn. Sounds bloody annoying.

Queues are normal.
They aren't instinctive.
Parents teaching their dc to queue need to explain repeatedly what's happening to manage expectations.
And where children and parents are being entitled I would remind the parent of entitled child by loud parenting.
You can wear the former from the latter by taking your dc off the equipment and saying "That's our turn. We'll let this child have a turn and it will be your turn again VERY soon"

The problem is that not all parents are good at making sure their kids take turns so standing in their eyeline helps remind them that there are others waiting.

People can't tell if you are one of those parents when they join the queue.

Yabu.