AIBU to be annoyed at my mum?

[Kidsrulethishouse]

This is going to sound very petty and materialistic. I am very aware of that but its more the principal that gets me.
I have been after a pair of shoes for months, not because I am shoe mad or anything but for sentimental reasons. Said shoes are very rare and SO SO hard to get hold of. A pair came up in my size and I was ready to buy them, financially it was doable but a bit of a push. My mum offered to buy them for me and let me pay her back when I was more easily able to (I must say, I didn't ask. Not even a hint!) I very gratefully accepted her offer and she bought the shoes. They were delivered yesterday and she has now decided that actually she likes them and will be keeping them herself.
I am so upset because not only not going to not get them now, I won't want another pair because the sentimental reason behind them is ruined. She fully understood why I wanted them and how long I had been trying to get them. She wouldnt even know they existed if I hadnt told her I wanted them. I know there are more important things in life but I dont get why my own mum would take away something important to me just because she felt like it.

[tidyfairy]

Hmmmm.

[Kidsrulethishouse]

Songbird - i did the survey, my mother is a narcissist.

[MammaTJ]

Please PM me your address, I have a little gift for you that may bring you comfort!

[summerholsr2long]

That is low, typical narcissist behaviour.
Sorry to hear she took that from you op.

[EverySongbirdSays]

So is mine OP welcome to the club, but another poster linked you to the survey

[Kidsrulethishouse]

Oops sorry!

[DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease]

Wow! Just wow - some people eh?

I'd be tempted to set her up after that. Maybe by pretending to want something stupid that she'll go out and buy, which you can then laugh in her face about with "Didn't you realise I was joking. I can't believe you're actually wearing that - I was JOKING about wanting it" or similar response.

Although, really, she's probably not worth the effort, you're probably better off disengaging.

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

I'm not a shoe person.
She's being freaky.
Next time you're there, put them on. Ask the dc who needs the mummy Panda shoes and lock them in the car.
Leave.

[Kidsrulethishouse]

😂 i cant steal them!

[EverySongbirdSays]

You TOTALLY could.

You said you were close to having the money.

Take them and leave the cash.

You'd never be done for it, the cops would laugh at her.

[WhisperingLoudly]

What a horrid thing to do.

I'd send her a copy of this thread before ceasing contact.

[PepsiPenguins]

whispering If the mother is a narcissist sending her a copy of this thread would only add to the "drama" something people of this nature love and thrive off.

The only way to deal with a true narcissist is to become very boring, and not let them see any of their behaviour bothers you, despite it hurting deep inside

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

You aren't stealing. She bought them for you. You have the messages. You aren't panda baby.

[WhisperingLoudly]

pepsi that is why I advocated sending it only if the OP is prepared to then stop contact - so as to avoid being drawn into the drama.

The mother will never accept she did anything wrong but narcicists often attempt to co-opt others into the drama and garner support. She will not be able to help herself but share the thread the OP shared with her with third parties and it will prove useful as a benchmark to them as to how inappropriate the mother was.

[Tartyflette]

OP, I don't know if this might make you feel any better or not but I have a Pair of IC shoes, nothing like yours, but they are the most uncomfortable shoes I've ever owned. I have only worn them once, to a vair posh restaurant, very little walking was involved but by the end of the night I was hobbling. I wld imagine I am a similar vintage to yr DM so we can only hope she might find them similarly difficult to wear. And that style is all wrong for a woman of, er, more mature years, shall we say!,
These are mine (but in navy with pink polka dots) www.ebay.co.uk/itm/irregular-Choice-Shoes-Size-7-/272339222195?hash=item3f68aebeb3:g:GnkAAOSwdzVXrfAU

[ImissGrannyW]

That's beyond horrid, and really sad. I've been reading this thread and thinking about how many, many pairs of shoes I've stolen off my mum, because they were nicer than I could afford or more comfortable or more practical. And she never once said no, and usually said "take them", because in my world, that's what mums do. I feel so sad for you that yours is the opposite of that.

[MoreGilmoreGirls]

That is horrible can't believe your mum did that. How old is she OP? If it's any consolation an older woman is going to look a bit silly in those shoes IMO

[Xmasbaby11]

That's awful. Totally out of line.

[RNBrie]

This is EXACTLY the sort of thing my narc mother does. And I totally second stealing them back. Just do it. Seriously, she'll rant and rave afterwards but you're enabling her if you don't do anything about it.

What a bitch.

[Mishmashpotatoes]

Agree with PP Irregular choice shoes are bloody uncomfortable. Relish in that thought

[BusStopBetty]

That's vile behaviour on her part. Sabotage the shoes.

Actually, buy a pair in a size smaller and swap them for hers. Tell her that her feet must have swollen in the heat if she complains they don't fit.

[Jengnr]

I wouldn't be bothering with somebody that spiteful.

[ThePinkOcelot]

That's really bad of your mum! Awful.

[MUjunkie]

What a complete bitch!