AIBU to be annoyed at my mum?

[Kidsrulethishouse]

This is going to sound very petty and materialistic. I am very aware of that but its more the principal that gets me.
I have been after a pair of shoes for months, not because I am shoe mad or anything but for sentimental reasons. Said shoes are very rare and SO SO hard to get hold of. A pair came up in my size and I was ready to buy them, financially it was doable but a bit of a push. My mum offered to buy them for me and let me pay her back when I was more easily able to (I must say, I didn't ask. Not even a hint!) I very gratefully accepted her offer and she bought the shoes. They were delivered yesterday and she has now decided that actually she likes them and will be keeping them herself.
I am so upset because not only not going to not get them now, I won't want another pair because the sentimental reason behind them is ruined. She fully understood why I wanted them and how long I had been trying to get them. She wouldnt even know they existed if I hadnt told her I wanted them. I know there are more important things in life but I dont get why my own mum would take away something important to me just because she felt like it.

[hungryhippo90]

That's awful. I feel outraged for you OP.

[HobnailsandTaffeta]

Wow, that's insane, is she always like that?

[muminthecity]

That's really nasty, even if there were no sentimental reason behind it, it's still a horrible thing to do. I'd be really upset too. Have you spoken to your mum about it? What did you say when she told you she was keeping them?

[Slackalice42]

I have just looked on google images to see what the shoes look like and I think they are fab. Yes for a yummy Mummy but I would say a little 'young' for a Grandmother! Have you got siblings you could mention that to - in the knowledge that it will get back to your Mum?

[CinderellaRockefeller]

I think you should tell her exactly what you say in the last line of the first post.

Be calm if possible, but genuinely say that. Text or email if you can't speak to her.

Does she have form or is this totally out of the blue?

[Kidsrulethishouse]

I knew I was right to be annoyed! It just seems so silly to be annoyed over shoes. I know if i said anything more about it that I would come accross as being petty because it is at the end of the day 'just a pair of shoes'.
She has got form for doing this sort of thing though.

[LemonRedwood]

She's already wearing them? I bet she looks a right dick

[blondieblondie]

What did you say when she told you, OP?

[EweAreHere]

Wow.

Not liking your mom at all.

I can't even imagine doing something like that to one of my children.

[Kidsrulethishouse]

Blondie - I just told her it was like a cruel joke and reminded her why I wanted them. Que the three year old singing the panda bear song on repeat for the next half hour!

[NightWanderer]

I was going to ask if there was more. I find it hard to believe that this is an isolated incident. Is it possible to take a little break from your mum? She sounds toxic.

[Tiggywinkler]

But it's not just a pair of shoes, it's her shitting all over something that was important to you.

to you OP - steel yourself, sadly you've a narc Mother.

[EverySongbirdSays]

Man, I thought my Mum and sister were dickish but I doubt even they would stoop this low. It's not just mean and bizarre it's actively spiteful.

Has she given you any reason WHY? Have you CHALLENGED her?

I wouldn't let it go.

[MissElizaBennettsBookmark]

YANBU

What a horrible thing to do :(

[blondieblondie]

I'm trying hard to imagine buying something my child was desperate for, at any age, for whatever reason, and then saying "actually, no, I'll be having that".

She knows what they mean to you. Your one and only mum. That's a shitty, twisted thing to do.

[Kidsrulethishouse]

Songbird - She just liked them!

[WindInThePussyWillows]

This has angered me beyond all belief. I'm so sad for you it's a lovely story you had.
My dad called me panda growing up because I was super fat and pale as a baby with big dark eyes and loads of black patchy hair

[Marmaduchess]

Just looked at them and surely they will look pretty ridiculous on her assuming she's say over forty five.

Have you told her how selfish you think she has been?

[EverySongbirdSays]

Does she try and cast herself as the Mum and not the Gran OP?

I hate to sound ageist but those are not shoes you can get away with past a certain age without looking quite silly IMO (please don't flame me)

[Wdigin2this]

That's so bloody mean....not only have you not got the shoes, you have to watch your mum tripping around in them!
Sounds like a classic case of a mothers jealousy of her daughter's youth, to me...and I know, similar happened to me decades ago and I never got over it!

[LondonStill83]

Op that is horrible! I really feel for you!

If it helps at all, and it probably won't, I have had two pairs of irregular choice shoes, and whilst both were GORGEOUS they tore my feet apart and NEVER became comfortable.

Hopefully she breaks an ankle and develops bunions!

[NightWanderer]

Kidsrulethishouse
Songbird - She just liked them!

I don't believe that for a second. She knew how much they meant to you and she contrived to take them away from you. It was done deliberately and with malice. Of course, if you confront her about them, she will minimise. Say you are making a fuss over nothing, say it's just a pair of shoes. But you know that she knows how much they meant to you. Deep down you know that she does these things to spite you.

Try this survey or try google narcissistic mother.

[JadziaSnax]

That's a horrible thing to do. YANBU at all.

[Cabawill]

She is an absolute dick. That's a lovely reason for sentimentality. Sorry she ruined it for you OP.