'You look well!' FAT FROM PRAWN COCKTAILS

[MadHattersWineParty]

Went to a family wedding at the weekend. Sat opposite my lovely elderly grandparents who I hadn't seen for about ten months. When I first saw them before the ceremony my grandad bellows 'You're looking VERY WELL!! We hardly RECOGNISED you!!'

We had prawn cocktail for the starter. I love prawn cocktail. I joked that I probably could eat it for every meal (I DO NOT) .

I got a little letter from my Grandma today who has written exactly this:

'I see your love of prawn cocktails has caused you to put on a fair bit of weight! We were surprised to see you looking so bonny!'

I bloody well tried to lose a bit of weight before that feckin wedding aswell.

For the record, I am now a 10-12 where I used to be a 6-8 through starving myself I am small boned so possibly don't carry it that well but I'm not particularly short, 5"5. A combination of health issues and getting mightily pissed off with denying myself carbohydrates day after day as put it on. I seriously used to eat hardly anything.

AIBU to think I'm NOT fat, and even if I was, it's not very polite to say I've stuffed my face with prawn bloody cocktails!

sorry. I just needed to rant. She probably thinks I'm eating prawn cocktails for breakfast, lunch and dinner

shuffles off to make prawn cocktail

You are not fat + you used to be underweight + They're usually lovely = They were pleased to see you looking so well and were complimenting you (in a rather cack-handed way)

How do you know you've got small bones? I thought it was a proven fact that being small or big boned equalled a body size was bollocks.

Send her a photo of your planned lunch?

My friend went to visit her poorly grandad a few years ago. She is "well built" (as am I!) and very tall.

She was shocked by how emaciated he looked and commented on how much weight he had lost, to which he cheerfully replied, "well, my love, we can't all be as fat as you!"

Sorry OP but this made me laugh. Your grandparents are adorably rude

It reminds me of when I got dumped by my very first boyfriend. I was 15/16 so of course it was true love and I was devastated. My Nana told me to buck up "maybe he's after someone who is a bit dresser, you know, someone who wears shorter skirts..." then she bought me a mini skirt the size of a postage stamp that I could use to find a new boyfriend.

BTW, I'm the same height as you and I'd love to be a 10-12

Well I used to look all delicate and bony and sort of I dunno, etheral. So I thought I had small bones.

I now do not! Maybe they were just 'visible bones'!

I work in an old people's home and get complimented on my lovely red face almost every day (it's red mainly from lifting people in and out of wheel chairs and getting up and down helping with shoes and socks...). I also get told I am fat quite often - sometimes a fat angel frequently fat but lovely and strong, with your nice red face ... :o

I always take small boned/big boned to be an indication of a persons basic frame or shape rather than their actual bones. Like how I say DD is small boned, she's actually got very normal sized bones but is just narrow framed and delicate.

MadHattersWineParty

I know what you mean, you have a small frame. I have quite a broad frame hidden under my fat with wide hips and large shoulders

That sounds harsh when I wasn't meaning it to be.

Sorry.

You sound perfectly healthy and I'd be definitely tucking into as many prawn cocktails as you want. Fish is good for you!

5moreminutes some of those old folk would be meeting their maker sooner then planned if they called me a fat angel with a red face on a daily basis. You must be very patient!

I was at a wedding recently with the groom's grandad on our table. He refused to go to the buffet and surveyed all our plates as we sat down to eat. He looked at the young girl next to him (she was very shy about 16) and said "You're not on a diet then?" - she stared at him so he persisted a little louder and more insistently "I SAID SO YOU'RE NOT ON A DIET THEN?!" with a stage nod towards her plate. She shook her head sadly but I could see he'd really upset her.

I was just waiting for him to start on me, but instead he decided to go from table to table declaring to everyone that he was on a diet, but clearly, as they were stuffing themselves with food, they weren't. What a jovial fellow, no one thought ....!!

You could always have just the one prawn if you're cutting back......

Tell her how bonny she and her DH were looking courtesy of all that full fat cream they eat.

Your grandmother reminds me of mine. She wrote to me before my wedding saying I would really need to remember to comb my hair on the day, FFS. It was her birthday shortly afterwards, I simply couldn't resist the lovely card I found with a fetching picture of a cow.

I'd be deliberately misunderstanding her, and assume that her note indicates a long suppressed passion for prawn cocktail.

I never know what to get my Nan for Christmas, but if I were you I'd be getting her prawn cocktail glasses, sauce, recipe books, novelty erasers, earrings etc from now until forever.

Be as 'quirkily rude' as she is. A misunderstanding that is a golden gift.

She'll think you're funny and odd (and bonny), but she's made you a great family tradition to exploit and an anecdote that that will have them rolling in the aisles when you do a speech at Granny/Grandpa's Diamond wedding celebration!

Ah - brings to mind the day DH took me to meet his VERY straight-talking Geordie grandmother. Straight out with it -
"Why she's a big fat lass isn't she ow'Alan"

I vowed there and then to come back in the night and murder her!

Gawd I really want a prawn cocktail now. That's it. To Tesco, batman!

So, you used to look anorexic and now they are complimenting you for looking healthy. Bonny is better than bony!

They obviously meant you looked too thin before, and now you look healthy (i.e. not at death's door). Do you have an eating disorder? My anorexic friend always used to take offence at the same kind of thing.

I also wonder if it's a compliment.

I look back fondly at my thin days but I know full well that some people thought I was too thin. People are a nuisance when they want to say this stuff out loud.

10/12 at 5ft 5 is not remotely big so it can't be a criticism especially as you say they are not slender themselves.

Hilarious! Iceland need you and your gran in their next prawn ring marketing campaign

Ha ha, this reminds me of my grandmother when I got told that I'd got into Oxford. I was modestly celebrating, and her comment was,

'I can't believe it! A granddaughter of mine going to Oxford! And you used to be so fat as well, didn't you?'

Now THAT is how to shoe-horn fatshaming into ANY conversation.

Revolting Fat AND clever - who even knew that was possible!

Wow that's some extreme shoehorning indeed RevoltingPeasant!