'You look well!' FAT FROM PRAWN COCKTAILS

[MadHattersWineParty]

Went to a family wedding at the weekend. Sat opposite my lovely elderly grandparents who I hadn't seen for about ten months. When I first saw them before the ceremony my grandad bellows 'You're looking VERY WELL!! We hardly RECOGNISED you!!'

We had prawn cocktail for the starter. I love prawn cocktail. I joked that I probably could eat it for every meal (I DO NOT) .

I got a little letter from my Grandma today who has written exactly this:

'I see your love of prawn cocktails has caused you to put on a fair bit of weight! We were surprised to see you looking so bonny!'

I bloody well tried to lose a bit of weight before that feckin wedding aswell.

For the record, I am now a 10-12 where I used to be a 6-8 through starving myself I am small boned so possibly don't carry it that well but I'm not particularly short, 5"5. A combination of health issues and getting mightily pissed off with denying myself carbohydrates day after day as put it on. I seriously used to eat hardly anything.

AIBU to think I'm NOT fat, and even if I was, it's not very polite to say I've stuffed my face with prawn bloody cocktails!

sorry. I just needed to rant. She probably thinks I'm eating prawn cocktails for breakfast, lunch and dinner

shuffles off to make prawn cocktail

I'm sorry but that is hilarious!

Went to visit my Dad's cousin, who's a bit older than him, and he kept mentioning how much me & Dad liked our nosh. And how much it showed! We weren't exactly stuffing our chops, but he was rationing the biscuits for our sakes... Eating at home was quite formal, but after a couple of days of starving between meals we weren't shy about making for the ice cream van on days out. He even had some too!

in the horse world, "looking well" is a euphemism for looking a bit fat but I wasn't aware that people really used it outside of that.

My manager once told me j was 'looking well' so I told him and he was mortified!

I too could eat prawn cocktail all the time so I feel you!

'Thank you so much for the £10, I put it together with £50 I had left from Christmas money and BLEW THE WHOLE LOT ON SHELLFISH.
I write this with a king prawn hanging out of my mouth and Marie Rose sauce liberally coating my cheeks.

Best wishes
Etc

Is there any chance at all the letter was to say how happy they are to see you at a healthy weight after battling an eating disorder?

I'd interpret it as, oh good you're looking well now instead of half starved, enjoying delicious healthy seafood and salad. Sounds like you need to get out of the mindset that very thin is a good thing!

I would write back saying "I am so glad you noticed, thank you so much. I have been trying really hard to put on weight as I used to be so unhealthily thin, and my health was suffering. I am so much happier now."

I really do think it was a compliment if you were so thin before and didn't eat much!

My mother feels me and comments on my every time I see her! She once shouted across Dotty P "What are you now a size 22?" - I was a size 16!!!! She weighs herself everyday and puts in on a graph on the computer. Some people are just crazy...

I think that's she's paying you a compliment OP, and she thinks you look better with a bit of meat on your bones.

Thing is for my gran and other working class women of her generation, being thin wasn't something to aspire to. It was seen as a sign of poverty and/or that your husband was a poor provider. Putting on weight was a visible sign that you were on the up.

Therefore a comment along the lines of 'you are looking well' or 'you've put the weight on' in their minds would not carry negative connotations and was probably intended as a complement.

Crying laughing. I'm sorry. Please spend the £10 on prawns.

I really want a prawn cocktail now.

Old people can be a bit strange. Reading between the lines a bit, whilst saying you had put on a fair bit of weight she also said you looked bonny. Maybe she just thought you looked a bit undernourished/skinny before and are now looking healthier in her eyes. She never actually said you are fat - you've assumed that bit.

Yes go with thora s reply

Doesn't 'bonny' mean fat in some parts of the country? I'm sure I've read a MN thread on that word before.

I've literally never heard her use the term 'bonny' before. She's not Scottish. She's from Croydon.

My Nan used to say things like this and I used to get offended until my Dad explained that, to their generation, being too skinny was as bad if not worse than being overweight, so telling someone they've put a bit of weight on if they were previously quite slight is actually a compliment

Funny how times change!

"Dear Granny,
thank you for the cash you sent. You are right, I should lay off the prawns for a bit, so I spent the money on chips."

Even if it was meant in a nice way it;s not really on to comment on people's weight like that. Good or bad

I think to that generation looking well = being a bit fat

mind, it could be worse, I saw my elderly aunties at my grandmother's funeral, then again maybe three months later, and was asked, how did my bum get so big in that time. I looked nice at the funeral, but now, had a fat ass. However, as my father is Italian, it is quite normal for me to have a fat ass 😮 😂

She spent about ten minutes dissecting my fattitude, and then the rest of the visit moaning because I didn't eat enough at dinner

My grandfather once said I looked chubby. He meant it as a compliment. I was horrified...

Lol at Bunty.

And that sucks OP.

Yes!! In a lovely card with a flower on the front and £10 in. Presumably to buy ingredients for a prawn cocktail.

This is hilarious! Maybe they meant it in a good way?

Dear granny.

Thank you for the £10 you sent. I spent it entirely on a day of reckless prawn abandon.

Please send more money. These shrimp aren't going to eat themselves.