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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'You look well!' FAT FROM PRAWN COCKTAILS

203 replies

MadHattersWineParty · 09/08/2016 14:55

Went to a family wedding at the weekend. Sat opposite my lovely elderly grandparents who I hadn't seen for about ten months. When I first saw them before the ceremony my grandad bellows 'You're looking VERY WELL!! We hardly RECOGNISED you!!'

We had prawn cocktail for the starter. I love prawn cocktail. I joked that I probably could eat it for every meal (I DO NOT) .

I got a little letter from my Grandma today who has written exactly this:

'I see your love of prawn cocktails has caused you to put on a fair bit of weight! We were surprised to see you looking so bonny!'

I bloody well tried to lose a bit of weight before that feckin wedding aswell.

For the record, I am now a 10-12 where I used to be a 6-8 through starving myself I am small boned so possibly don't carry it that well but I'm not particularly short, 5"5. A combination of health issues and getting mightily pissed off with denying myself carbohydrates day after day as put it on. I seriously used to eat hardly anything.

AIBU to think I'm NOT fat, and even if I was, it's not very polite to say I've stuffed my face with prawn bloody cocktails!

sorry. I just needed to rant. She probably thinks I'm eating prawn cocktails for breakfast, lunch and dinner Grin

shuffles off to make prawn cocktail

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
MiddleClassProblem · 09/08/2016 15:51

Amazing thread. Love that they shelled out a tenner for you.

You know you're in a better place now than when you were staving yourself. And maybe they did mean they prefer you with a bit of meat on you.

Felco · 09/08/2016 15:54

Oh god I love this thread. Really craving a prawn cocktail. I'd settle for a bag of Skips...

FWIW bonny is definitely a compliment in that old fashioned sense of looking very well and having a bit of a rosy cheek to you!

IlPorcupinoNilSodomyEst · 09/08/2016 15:54

I think it's an older generation thing - my friend's mum (who has known me since primary school, forty years ago) said 'well, you haven't changed a bit! Just a lot fatter than you used to be ...'

It's true.

Original poster
MadHattersWineParty · 09/08/2016 15:54

I need that dress in my life.

No, neither of them are exactly whippets themselves, because they chug cream in all their coffees and crack open one of those tins with various shortbreads in it at every given opportunity. But I don't say anything about that!

I ate all my main course at the wedding (beef Wellington if anyone's interested) and she commented I had 'an impressive appetite'. It was just nice!!

OP posts:
Geordiegirl79 · 09/08/2016 15:55

!!! I am loving the Dita style prawn cocktail idea!!!! I can't believe you received that note!!! My mum always comments on who has put on weight. When the tv's on, there'll frequently be comments like, "He's put on the beef, hasn't he?" As previous poster said, it's more to do with her own body issues.

I bloody love prawn cocktail as well. Now I totally want a prawn cocktail. It blew my tiny mind when I found out the ingredients for Marie Rose sauce, though. Amazing!!!

acasualobserver · 09/08/2016 15:58

I love prawn cocktail. And beef Wellington. What was for pudding?

Original poster
MadHattersWineParty · 09/08/2016 15:59

Lemon posset. Was a very good wedding breakfast, in my opinion.

OP posts:
MrsMac2014 · 09/08/2016 15:59

What is it about grandparents saying things like that? My granddad often told me that I was 'fairly putting on the beef'' in front of the whole family! I have also heard an elderly male relation saying to another young male member of the family that he had put on weight. I wonder what makes older people think they can say what they want without hurting people's feelings Confused

MrsMac2014 · 09/08/2016 15:59

And OP, you're not even overweight. Cheeky buggers.

maras2 · 09/08/2016 16:00

DH's nan (many years deceased) had form for this even before dementia set in. To DH. ' Your Maras is a fine looking lass,lovely skin,so clear and soft' DH ' Aw thanks nan,I'll tell her that ' 'You do love.It always helps being a fat lass when it comes to complexions,you mark my words' 'Erm, ok nan might be best not to mention the skin thing ' Shock I was only 16 at the time. Grin nearly 50 years ago.RIP nan. Flowers

BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 09/08/2016 16:00

Prawn cocktail, beef wellington and lemon posset.

Strong grub game at that wedding

Lweji · 09/08/2016 16:02

Now I'm looking at the supermarket across the road and I'm thinking that I could have prawns for tea.

'You look well!' FAT FROM PRAWN COCKTAILS
Lweji · 09/08/2016 16:04

More seriously, if they are on the larger side, in my experience, they will prefer seeing you with more weight on.
Take it as a compliment. Definitely.

Vickyyyy · 09/08/2016 16:06

Heh this sounds like something my grandma would have done was she still here :D I used to just write off stuff like this as...grandma thoughts and take them in as good way as I could. I doubt they mean to hurt you, especially as you look more 'bonny' with the extra weight Grin

My new haircolour once made me look like a 'bobby-dazzler' even though it was the 'colour of a clowns' but apparently it suited me. LOL

Anonymouses · 09/08/2016 16:08

I would of not kill at least rough up a few people to be a 10-12. As a rule most people who are in the healthy bmi range are a size 10-12

Anonymouses · 09/08/2016 16:09

Also the kind of random note my grandma would have sent. I loved her to bits but she had zero tact and no filter...

acasualobserver · 09/08/2016 16:09

Agree with Bunty - very acceptable menu.

Original poster
MadHattersWineParty · 09/08/2016 16:09

'Colour of clowns' Grin

OP posts:
randomer · 09/08/2016 16:11

I think its a bloody cheek. You were out in your best clothes,enjoying yourself and eating and some bugger (female of course) comments on your weight.

I've had this all my life and it bloody well stinks.

BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 09/08/2016 16:12

My new haircolour once made me look like a 'bobby-dazzler' even though it was the 'colour of a clowns' but apparently it suited me.

Grin
Anonymouses · 09/08/2016 16:13

My mom used to go mental about my bright red/purple/plum coloured hair and ask why I couldn't at least dye it a normal colour.

When she was ill I did out of respect. Her reaction? "I don't like it, what did you do?"

After that I attended her funeral with my bright purple hair proudly shining. (Although if it upset anyone else they didn't dare tell me)

Parents and grandparents are weird sometimes...

blitheringbuzzards1234 · 09/08/2016 16:14

You poor thing, MadHatter, I'm not trying to have a go at elderly relatives but do you think that as they've sadly aged/deteriorated they've lost their filter? My MIL comes out with some right gems - never had much of a filter in the first place so I often joke that she must have been a terrible loss to the diplomatic corps. Which is completely lost on her ladyship.

BrianCoxReborn · 09/08/2016 16:15

I put on a lot of weight from age 19-21. Going from a size 12-14 to a 16-18 (am 5'11" so still had a cracking figure).

I proudly showed my Nan the photos from my 21st birthday trip to Dublin.

Nan flicked through them and sighed "oh, it's only when you see the pictures that you realise just how much weight you've put on, isn't it!"

I was aware I looked fatter than I used to, I was quite upset about it BUT these were my birthday photos.

timelytess · 09/08/2016 16:15

How are threads nominated for 'Classics'?

floppyflapjack · 09/08/2016 16:15

I love that they sent you a tenner too just to soften the blow, a bit like a s**t sandwich! Anyhoo YANBU or even vaguely fat, I'm sure they meant it to be a compliment.

Right... off to find a prawn cocktail now!