To keep this a massive secret

[Gymboree567]

I've got no friends
There I said it! I never tell anyone, my family, people at work, I feel like it's more embarrassing than a really embarrassing illness!
If I had to make a choice I'd rather tell people about the time I had an anal fissure than admit to having no friends
It's always used as an insult, "billy no mates" "got no friends"

Is it that embarrassing? Should I be keeping it a secret?
If you have friends, do you think it's really weird?

Aristotle is there a trick to finding the group on FB? I've searched a couple of times with no joy.

Me to, I can't find it either, can't see wheremy last post on here is either, I must be tired! Ha

Hello there, can anyone tell me how to find mn social on Facebook? Can't find at all. Also what do you click on to pm a certain user. Thanks anyone

Hi. I'd be interested I joining the social group too. I don't really have any friends, just a few acquaintances I meet for coffee occasionally. When my daughter was younger I had a bit of a social life with other mum's, by now she's older we all seem to have drifted apart. I rarely go out so I rely on my husband for company, which is fine most of the time as he doesn't really have friends either, but sometimes we get bored & I know he gets frustrated by my dependency sometimes & he would like to go off & do his own thing, but them I'm left on my own. I try to be proactive with friends but it's always me who initiates meeting & I don't like to be a nuisance to people. Feeling rather lonely.

Hello you, don't feel lonely, it will only bring you down. See this a new start to meeting people, we're all in the same boat, private message me if you want, I can't seem to figure out how to do it now. Although I have pm someone before, I must be a bit brain dead today! Ha. If they don't want to know you it's there loss, you shouldn't have to chase a friend. I hope chatting on here finds us all friends. We should all meet, it would be a huge meet up and were bound to get and see friendships along the line. Nice you have a partner to keep you company, but I understand there's nothing like a freind that just gets you. Hope your ok. I'm just going to change my user name as I seem to be just a number at the minute, like a prisoner! Ha

I used to have friends but as I've got older I've struggled to stay in touch with them and not made any new ones. I have aspeger's which makes it harder. I'm ok about it though. I think as long as you're satisfied with what you have it is ok. If you are lonely or something then maybe you could join a club of some sort. Start friend -dating.

Ok I should have read the thread before posting! I want to join the group! Where is it?

Thank you for this thread. Xxx

I'm not sure why the FB group isn't showing up. It's definitely called MN Social.

The only other way I can think to do it if it's definitely not showing up in a search is if you pm me your profile details and I friend you and add you manually.

There isn't one I don't think. Nobody seems to want one but everyone says there lonely and have no friends. One poster said to try mn social on face book, I don't seem to be getting all the messages and can't even see where to private message people anymore, arrrghhhh! Freinds we all need. How we going to do that!? Not sure myself. You?

User, thanks for your kind words x

:www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/how-friendships-change-over-time-in-adulthood/411466/ I am not sure if the link will work but this is a good article about friends. I have found lowering my expectations of people have helped.

Hey there, I can't get the link to work but thanks any way. Yes I agree about lowering expectations, I seem to be constantly let down by people, maybe I shouldn't think there might actually be a loyal good friend out there. How are you doing anyway?

I know the feeling. I don't feel I'm good at making and keeping friends. I either end up trying to make too much effort without it being reciprocated or not enough as I feel a bit defensive especially after an experience a while ago the person 'seemed' really nice, but realised it was a bit of an act, the person was extremely smug and judgy I realised a bit later. I now feel like I can't be bothered. I sort of feel like I don't know how and get it wrong so feel disheartened. I have a few acquaintance type friends, but nothing ever progresses. I wonder if I have something wrong with me and can't 'read' people properly. I feel like I don't know who I am and where I'd fit in.

I also think some people naturally attract people and some don't and I guess it's also to do with your 'aura' and how confident you feel. I also find that the less friends you have the less you make because as soon as people discover you don't have many friends or aren't in a group they back off. I personally don't like big groups, well I've never been in one properly. I've tried and felt on the outskirts as there seems to be some kind of hierarchy, I don't do hierarchies and left.

OP, you sound like you're making it difficult for yourself. You want friends, but you don't want to see them too often, you want people to be close but not too close, you want them to chase you even though you don't want them being needy or wanting anything from you, you're distraught at not being invited to things but you don't want to do too much with people anyway.....
You can't make people fit into the role of "friend" as you have decided it is. You take people as they are, or not as the case may be. Friendships develop natural, you can't force them into your ideal of friendship.

I'm on the Facebook page, have been for a while but will reintroduce myself. I'm in West Yorkshire too :)

I'm an introvert and really struggle with fake people, so I like to have friends, but have to get on well with them.

I'm lucky I have one best friend who I have known for 7 years and met through netmums (please don't judge me, this was before I knew about mumsnet!) the meet a mum board. We just clicked and we talk about everything (I mean everything, some of our conversation is very bizarre!) but it took me a long time without friends to find that friendship.

Through her I have met another friend, which is in the very beginning, but she is also an introvert and I hope it works).

It took me a while to work out I'm an introvert, and I'm ok with it, I need some social interaction, but with selected people.

I've learnt how to crochet from YouTube and I really enjoy it, I can spend hours doing it!

If anyone from West Yorkshire wants to message me that's fine

I have lots of people I go out with for drinks, lunch, etc. I really care about them and I consider them friends. But I don't feel that close to them, in the sense that I'm not sure I could burden them with my problems if I ever needed help.

But I haven't had really close friends since high school. I sometimes think that my experience as a teen sort of wrecked friendship for me for ever, because it will perhaps never be possible to have the same closeness with other people as an adult .

I find it very difficult now that I am childless (infertility) and lots of other people have kids. Sometimes when I am running in the park, I see all the mothers there in groups with their children and I feel like there are these ready-made social networks that I'm just completely excluded from. It's actually been one of the most difficult things about discovering the infertility and going through the grieving process. So it's interesting to hear from people who are mothers who don't feel part of those groups. I guess the reality and how it looks from the outside are two different things.

I don't have many friends and the ones I have aren't close go month without seeing them just calling for cup of tea. But I don't really care I feel making time for friends takes my time away from my children and husband. I live in my wee family bubble and that's what I'm happiest with. Dh has friends but chooses his free time days off with us. My dh and my mum are my best friends and I'm more than happy with that :)

Me neither, I had quite a few friends before having children, 10 years ago, but we just ended up losing contact, I had another very good friend who moved away, we still kept in contact via messages and I was planning on visiting her until my phone broke and I was unable to access her number, as her number wasn't saved on my SIM card, so I never saw her again and this was before Facebook existed, I was gutted. Also made friends through the military, as my husband once was a serving soldier, but people used to come and go all the time so they were never lasting friendships. I have a friend from childhood too, we don't see each other much as she works long hours and we both have children, so i don't see friends. Maybe when I am working again, I will make friends, I'm a SAHM at the moment, so it's hard to make friends. But I do think it would be nice to have more friends. But I have many virtual friends on Facebook, who I have met on Facebook, who I talk to regularly, who I met from joining certain groups, but as they're in different countries, we've never met. So you're not alone, I think there are many more people who don't have real friends.

I have a very small group of friends, I don't trust people very easily.

Crikey sometimes I'm not even sure I have acquaintances! I have recently had a bad break up and I have no one to call a friend. I have a sister but I don't socialise with her in that way if that makes sense, it's more seeing the kids as their aunty. I know I need a sport/hobby but being so socially awkward anyway and introverted means it will take about a year to pluck up the courage to do that!