To think they invited the wrong child?

[HyunaRiddle]

I have triplet girls, they're 8 years olds.

2 are Brownies and 1 is a Cub

Youngest DD who is a brownie is very good friends with a girl, who is also a brownie, we've taken her out numerous times, DD has stayed over at her house overnight, I know the mum fairly well.

It's the girl's birthday next week and we've received 2 invites by email, for DD1 and DD2 not DD3.

DD2 is a Cub, has never spent more then a a few hours with the birthday girl, doesn't really like her all that much, but the name on the invite is clearly for DD2.

Do you think that they just put down the wrong name?

A few weeks ago there was a thread on here from a twin mum who was upset on one of her children's behalf because only one twin was invited to the party of a child who was friendly with both twins. She was handed her arse on a plate for being so unreasonable.

I read that - and said that I thought it was awful to invite one and not the other as it was, de facto by circumstance, deliberately excluding one of the pair. This goes many times for this situation. I'd decline politely - but firmly - and I wouldn't have anything to do with that family again if I could help it. Bizarre and graceless at best....if not downright unpleasant at worst. Your poor DD3. You simply cannot do it to her. My reply would be: "Thank you for the invitation to X's party; unfortunately, DD1 and DD2 will be unable to attend. Regards, Hyuna". End of.

Lelloteddy - this is different circumstances.

2 out 3 does seem ore harsh, but thats not really the point here anyway.

The issue is that a child who is apparently good friends with the party girl is not invited, yet her sister who doesn't know party girl much and isn't good friends with her is, as is the other sister.

OP says she wouldn't have this dilemma had it been DD3, along with either DD1 or DD2.

Its down to which two were invited, not that only two were invited.

I imagine there are different people responding lello
I didn't see the other thread but one out of two is different to 2 out of 3. And in this instance birthday girl is being very odd indeed!

I think if you can only invite 3 children then having to invite 3 siblings just becase they were born on the same day is silly. On the other hand inviting 2 out of 3 seems mean. If my child I'd have said choose 1 or invite all 3. I presume the girls know each other outwith brownies or the birthday girl would never have met the cub girl. Are they all at school together? It seems odd to describe one as your youngest if they are triplets. isn't birth order a bit irrelevant?

How bizarre. It's spiteful of the child, so I'd be wary of continuing that friendship, but for the parents to follow out the spiteful child's request is hard to understand. Who does that? I can only think that her and the one being left out have had a major falling out? But even if that was the case it's still not an acceptable approach.

I would send what nocabbage suggests.

Bet she would have spent far more on her (cancelled) holiday than the extra cost of inviting another child to the party. Totally thoughtless mother.

I would just decline for the two invited girls and say nothing more. The mother will know why and the birthday girl will discover that only one friends is attending her party. (If it were my daughter is explain why to her too because it's a good lesson in what happens when you are unkind to a friend).

I'd probably not be super encouraging of play dates either (but not obstructive).

OP, in your shoes I would hastily plan a nice something with your triplets and decline the invite. Inviting 2/3 of eight year old triplets?! Who does that? 1/3 is understandable, 2/3 is thoughtless and cruel.

I also think that party girl has had a tiff with left out triplet & this is her 8 year old way of getting revenge.

I would decline.

She was handed her arse on a plate for being so unreasonable.
Why the discrepancy with this thread?

Because they were total opposites. In that case the party-giver had invited a friend and the OP felt she should have invited her friend's sibling too on the grounds that twins should always be invited together.

This is a case of a girl snubbing her own close friend but inviting her close friend's sister who she barely knows.

My issue isn't with how many were invited but the fact that it was DD3 that was excluded as she's the closest to the birthday girl, DD2 barely knows her and DD1 only knows her from Brownies.

I don't think DD3 would enjoy a day out with just the two of us if she knows that her DDs are out with her friend. I haven't heard of a falling out and we've been away so unlikely as they haven't seen each other in a while.

I think the best cast scenario is to just decline and say that it isn't appropriate. Not sure what to think of the Mum, she's never done anything like this, she's always been very pleasant and was just as uncomfortable as I was on the phone.

I would decline and arrange a day out for all your girls on the same day as the party. That way they won't miss out on a party because they had other plans.

Birthday girl will learn she can't summon her friend's sisters to spite her friend. Aged 8 she should have been told gently by her mum invites can be declined and this is a likely outcome.

Mine believed he had total power to dictate who will be there when he was younger. He did understand when I told him some may, some may not accept. Your dd's friend's mum clearly didn't do this.

I would decline all 3 of them as it is quite spiteful to do that to DD3

I would also decline. Organise something fun for that day instead. That is really mean of the party girl to do that.

I actually don't think it would have been unreasonable not to invite 'Cubs' daughter, they obviously don't know each other well/have different social groups.

However not inviting both 'brownies' sisters, then asking 'Cubs' sister instead just seems mean. I don't think the mum is at fault - she probably did confuse names (easily done if other things going on), this seems a deliberate act on the girl's side. Have they (girl and third daughter) had a falling out recently?

Oh, I'd also decline for both (or all three, if and when that invite comes). There's type of 'power games' should be stopped before they start.

I'm guessing the mums had a moment and not engaged her brain and just invited who her daughter wanted (probably had a full blown argument with the daughter pushing 'it's her birthday, she can invite who she wants'). Girls can be bloody awful

I think that's probably best. Whatever the rationale, it's going to cause you big problems at home which you can do without I'm sure (especially during the summer holidays!)

This little girl is definitely trying to snub your DD3 by inviting her sisters,appalling behaviour. Glad you queried it and made her mother feel uncomfortable might give her food for thought. I would definitely decline and arrange something nice with the girls.

2Rebecca: Are they all at school together? It seems odd to describe one as your youngest if they are triplets. isn't birth order a bit irrelevant?

I had to mention all 3 DDs, only way to differentiate them was birth order. They're all at the same school but only DD3 is in the same class as the girl.

I would turn down the invitation soon though, she will have a tough time to find guests in August and might need as much notice as she can get.

As others have said Op, I'd decline for all 3 as it sounds extremely hurtful & unfair on DD3 who is actually the birthday girl's friend. Sounds like the birthday girl is being spiteful or trying to get her own back on DD3 (for whatever 8 year old reason that may be).

As others have said Op, I'd decline for all 3 as it sounds extremely hurtful & unfair on DD3 who is actually the birthday girl's friend. Sounds like the birthday girl is being spiteful or trying to get her own back on DD3 (for whatever 8 year old reason that may be).

You're all being really harsh on the 8year old girl, having been one myself I imagine she's intrigued by the idea of triplets and maybe envious of dd3, so inviting her friend's 2 sisters for her birthday is her way of exploring this.

Having said that of course her parents should have said no way to this idea
and invited her friend, I cannot believe the Mum tried to front it out. I too would turn down the invite for the other 2.