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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think they invited the wrong child?

312 replies

HyunaRiddle · 01/08/2016 20:10

I have triplet girls, they're 8 years olds.

2 are Brownies and 1 is a Cub

Youngest DD who is a brownie is very good friends with a girl, who is also a brownie, we've taken her out numerous times, DD has stayed over at her house overnight, I know the mum fairly well.

It's the girl's birthday next week and we've received 2 invites by email, for DD1 and DD2 not DD3.

DD2 is a Cub, has never spent more then a a few hours with the birthday girl, doesn't really like her all that much, but the name on the invite is clearly for DD2.

Do you think that they just put down the wrong name?

OP posts:

Ireallydontseewhy · 05/08/2016 13:01

yes I see your point Sally. Though just wondering what my advice to a dc would be if s/he told me that his/her tentmate had asked to swap away from them after one night to be with a sibling (which is how it may appear to party girl). I think I would probably assume that tentmate was not that into my dc, and without saying that expressly, I would encourage my dc to broaden his/her friendships! (Though now that I have read this thread I hope I'd go down the 'don't read too much into it, there may be an explanation' route at the same time).

And yes, I think I am overinvested...

Ameliablue · 05/08/2016 13:31

I don't think moving to share with a sibling should be taken as not being that into the friendship. It is more a case of being insecure and needing to be near someone or something representative of home.
But even if a child was upset for that reason and I couldn't convince them otherwise, as a parent I would suggest inviting a different friend instead, not the sibling of the best friend that the child isn't friendly with.

TheAntiBoop · 05/08/2016 13:37

We don't know why x did what she did. I think we can all agree that her mother didn't handle it well.

I just think op should encourage the girls to get together and sort it out. If they are then not so close so be it. I just think it's harsh to condemn a 4 yr close friendship because an 8yo made an unkind decision for an unknown reason

when older dd3 will have to resolve her own friendship issues and this is a good opportunity to practice!

TheAntiBoop · 05/08/2016 13:40

Maybe x was feeling insecure and scared and wanted to be with her best friend. Who knows - maybe x wasn't even bothered by the tent switch. There's only one way for dd3 to find out.

Original poster

HyunaRiddle · 05/08/2016 15:20

TheAnti, we're not avoiding x, it's just that when school starts up again, they're going to be in the same class, same after school activities, they'll see each other quite a bit, so before that happens I'd like to build DD3's social circle a bit and show her that friends come & go, If they go back to being friends, then I won't have a problem with that but I'm not going to call x or try & organise play dates.

OP posts:

nick247 · 05/08/2016 15:34

ThumbWitchesAbroad-actually I did admit that I misread the Post for which I will apologise again as you seem to have missed my original apology. BUT my actual point was we do not know why DD3 was not invited, but hey you guys are obviously all mind readers. I am sure that at some point your DC have omitted to invite some body to a party for whatever reason and for all you know that somebody may have felt agreived because they considered themselves to be a close friend of the inviter and been upset because they were omitted. You may have been oblivious to this, but I am sure you would be defending your own child if you found this out afterwards. CodyKing I am not using their age as an excuse for the behaviour but as a reason for it. When my DD was about 7/8 her so called best friend excluded her from a party, the mother said she was adamant that she did not want to invite her even though they were still playing together at school the day she brought in the invitations. When it was my DD's birthday a month or so later she invited the same girl who shuned her.We were not petty, we do not hold grudges, unlike your apparently perfect kids.My DD got over it and moved on. You guys carry on living your sad lives and I will carry on with mine content in the knowledge that as speak as I find WHEN I have the full facts , I do not judge on assumptions.

CodyKing · 05/08/2016 17:19

unlike your apparently perfect kids

Sunshineonacloudyday · 05/08/2016 17:27

Apart from the bitchiness Nick does make a good point. I weren't invited to my so called friends birthday party but yet I invited her to mine. When it has come to my children's birthday party I take control I am the one paying for it. I have always invited all the girls from the classroom no boys then no one feels left out.

nick247 · 05/08/2016 18:02

Me being bitchy? I seem to be the only one not being bitchy about an 8 year old girl who has made a decision for reasons unknown to us, and if you are asking if I think my kid(s) are perfect, far from it, but no petty grudges here.

nick247 · 05/08/2016 18:04

CodyKing I was not referring to you personally about perfect kids, but to many of the people who have posted on here . Chillax!!

Sunshineonacloudyday · 05/08/2016 21:14

Children and teenagers have a funny idea of friendship. They break up one minute and then making up the next. I think we should all give up on working out the minds of 8 year olds and leave them to it. It was a long time since I was 8.

PirateFairy45 · 05/08/2016 21:16

Yeah. Ask the mum. She'll likely be embarrassed she got it wrong

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