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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they invited the wrong child?

312 replies

HyunaRiddle · 01/08/2016 20:10

I have triplet girls, they're 8 years olds.

2 are Brownies and 1 is a Cub

Youngest DD who is a brownie is very good friends with a girl, who is also a brownie, we've taken her out numerous times, DD has stayed over at her house overnight, I know the mum fairly well.

It's the girl's birthday next week and we've received 2 invites by email, for DD1 and DD2 not DD3.

DD2 is a Cub, has never spent more then a a few hours with the birthday girl, doesn't really like her all that much, but the name on the invite is clearly for DD2.

Do you think that they just put down the wrong name?

OP posts:
GeneHuntsMistress · 04/08/2016 10:13

I think you should cancel the cheque.

MammouthTask · 04/08/2016 10:21

GrinGrin
Yes but are you sure someone has told the OP? Wink

TeaStory · 04/08/2016 10:21

Nick, RTFT. It's not about the triplets being "a package", it's about the little girl not inviting her close friend but inviting her close friend's sisters instead - girls she doesn't even really know. How would you feel if your best friend invited your sister but not you to a big event?

Persistentdonor · 04/08/2016 10:30

I find these twins/triplets threads SO fascinating.

As a pensioner I am attending a regular group where I can observe girl twins aged 8 on a regular basis. They are very physically affectionate towards each other, until another child about the same age arrives. She always makes a bee-line for one twin, and they then ignore other twin until it is time to go home. I feel most aggrieved for the one who is left out. Heaven knows how she feels!! Sad

CodyKing · 04/08/2016 10:52

Polly RTT

Phone call made - no mistake - BF left out in favour of her sisters who she doesn't play with -

She's using her party to get back at OPs daughter - it's back fired as OP is taking them to grannies instead.

OPs DD is angry at the slight!

Sunshineonacloudyday · 04/08/2016 11:07

I still say watch Mean Girls it doesn't get any easier. Wait until they get to teenagers.

MiddleClassProblem · 04/08/2016 11:28

Op, from all your posts you sound like a wonderful mother.

bumsexatthebingo · 04/08/2016 14:17

So what if the girl actually just prefers the 2 other twins that she doesn't happen to do the same activities as. What if she thinks they are more fun and dd3 is actually not very nice to her. Should the mum have made her invite dd3 as her third choice? Everyone on here is demonising the birthday girl and saying it must be about the tent. We don't know that.

bumsexatthebingo · 04/08/2016 14:18

Triplets sorry!

Sunshineonacloudyday · 04/08/2016 15:58

Bum if that was the case then if it was me then I would not invite any of them. Maybe the childs mother wants to break up the friendship completely and this is her way of doing that. I don't believe any reasonable adult would behave like that unless there was a motive.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 04/08/2016 16:01

Using her daughter is a cop out shame on her. Who is the adult? The op of course for handling the situation so well. Let your daughters watch mean girls there is a lot of mothers who bring up there children with no morals or self respect.

CatsAndCocktails · 04/08/2016 16:13

What the birthday girl seems have spectacularly failed to realise is that she has now lost one of her two friends - she was allowed to invite three friends for her birthday and she invited X, DD1 and DD2. Since she hasn't ever been friends with DD1 or DD2 but has now lost her friendship with DD3 as a result, she just has X left as her friend. If she had other friends, presumably she would have invited them instead of two of the triplets in the first place.

bumsexatthebingo · 04/08/2016 16:13

So, for example, if the child who wasn't invited was actually bullying the birthday child you wouldn't allow the birthday child to invite the sisters if they were nice to her? Not saying that IS what is happening but for all we know it could be.

CatsAndCocktails · 04/08/2016 16:16

bum the birthday girl doesn't even know one of the triplets and the other one, who was invited, doesn't consider her a friend. How can they be considered to be being nice to her and that the reason for the invite?!

paxillin · 04/08/2016 16:19

Birthday girl has also failed to realise she cannot summon somebody. Mine would turn down an invite designed to hurt his brother. Result is she will have a hard time getting anybody to come, it's August, people are in Portugal or tennis camp.

CatsAndCocktails · 04/08/2016 16:39

Birthday girl is very likely to have a lonely summer and birthday. It's not something I would wish on anyone, let alone an eight year old, but maybe she will learn from it and be nicer in future.

bumsexatthebingo · 04/08/2016 16:42

The op said that 2 of them are brownies and the other one has spent a few hours with her. So it's quite possible she prefers them. Especially if the other triplet isn't overly nice to her. There is a difference between liking someone more and being forced together by parent arranged activities and playdates.

CodyKing · 04/08/2016 16:51

She liked her enough for sleepovers days out and sharing a tent -

paxillin · 04/08/2016 17:30

Bumsex, OP said birthday girl and DD3 are very good friends whilst DD1 & DD2 have no interest in a friendship with x, they have nothing in common. Doesn't look likely birthday girl prefers the others, looks like punishing DD3 for a perceived sleight.

magoria · 04/08/2016 18:04

Gosh, I remember last year or so of school (so 15) someone had a massive party.

It felt like I was the only one not invited.

Everyone was talking about it before and after.

It hurt so much at the time.

To think a friend would to this is sad.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 04/08/2016 18:39

I think the concluding part to this story is the birthday girl will lose dd3 friendship because of this. I wonder why her mother didn't discuss this with her and then talk to the op about it. She knew what she was doing when inviting the other 2. It could have been a perfect opportunity to work things out. They were very good friends I don't think there was any bullying. I think she may be jealous of there closeness and she wants to either break them up or be part of there triplet group.

bumsexatthebingo · 04/08/2016 18:55

Clearly the op and the birthday girl disagree as to whether they are very good friends. Anyway no point in arguing about it any further as a solution has already been decided.

nick247 · 04/08/2016 19:12

Teastory why don't you RTFT, She DID invite the best friend, but NOT the other mate from brownies. If my best friend invited my sister but not me to a party I would just get on with my life instead of holding pretty grudges. I can understand why an 8 year old may feel her actions were acceptable, but some of the rubbish that the so called adults on here are coming out with is plain ridiculous. Life is like that and the sooner people let their precious kids know this instead of thinking the world owes them a favour , we can then have a world with resilient people instead of the moaning whingers on this thread.

nick247 · 04/08/2016 19:18

Petty NOT pretty.

CodyKing · 04/08/2016 19:20

No she excluded the best friend and invited the other brownie plus the cub -

BF is in her class - goes to sleepovers. Etc

Cub doesn't like the girl.

All three have separate friends

DD3 is annoyed her BF excluded her

Mom rang to ask and definitely DD3 was excluded in favour of her sisters -