Strangers commenting

[GertrudeMoo]

So, dd has gorgeous big eyes. Does that give everyone the right to say "Wow, what big eyes!" to her? I mean utter strangers, everywhere, in shops, on the bus....every single day, without fail, someone will say she has got big/huge/massive eyes! I wouldn't mind if they added beautiful or lovely...but no...
I find it quite rude.
Today she compared herself to a big-eyed frog! She's not even two years old! She might be a toddler but she has feelings and understands nearly everything she hears.
I understand that people mean well, but if it was any other body part would it be ok to comment? Wow, what a big nose! Wow, what huge teeth you have!
I also find it annoying when (random) people act really shocked when they hear her speak. She may be small but she's a human, and humans speak. She's not a talking dog! There's no need to make her feel like a freak because she has big eyes and can talk.

AIBU?

FYI

"Phat" pronounced "fat" is a word that is young people use to mean big or great.

She has phat hair
Just had a phat burger
Party last night was phat

So I imagine the kids were just saying she has big eyes.

I have massive blue eyes people often comment on.

I always thought it was a compliment

None of your posts were bantering in nature, OP. On the contrary they were quite aggressive and unpleasant. People posted their own experiences and offered interpretation of what these vicious strangers might have meant.

I hope you have a happier time at NetMums.

My sister was bullied for having big eyes. As was the gorgeous Natalie Imbruglia.

I'm mixed race and my ds2, who's 18 months, has huge, unexpectedly bright blue eyes and white blond hair. His eyes are gorgeous and people comment on them several times a day. The poor little thing also has rather big ears (that I hope he will grow into) and hopefully it detracts from them!

I just told my nearly two year old that she has big eyes to see if it offends her. She is now persistently poking me in the eye saying 'mummy eye mummy eye' but I don't think she is offended.

I'm 6ft, I get comments on my height from time to time it really doesn't bother me. My two girls have big eyes and again people commenting on their eyes doesn't bother me.

Do two year olds really make comparisons like that? Mine wouldn't know to make a comparison like that.

UncleFeedle. Thank you. He's a happy little boy who doesn't really realise his disabilities so that helps in everyday life.

OP I understand, I have very large lips. The kind of lips everyone is getting fillers to have or overdrawing to achieve. Whether thats a boast or not it the truth.

All throughout school I got "fish lips", "n*er lips", "who punched you fat lip?", etc. Jealously can cause some awful bullying.

It's because her eyes are so beautiful that people (yep even adults) feel inclined to mention them to try and make themselves feel better for the lack of that desirable feature. YANBU.

Also my DD's speech is very advanced she's been able to have conversations longer than you would expect and it has shocked people, some are impressed and say lovely things. I don't think that's derogatory to be honest. Although people on here think it's stealth boasting

(And before I get the "not everyone wants big lips, I'm not getting fillers" comments I just meant everyone who wants big lips as it's a current trend)

Your

But these adults aren't bullying the op's daughter...they're complimenting a beautiful feature of hers

My now 4 year old has always had massive brown eyes so did I but they're boringly normal now

Everyone comments on how big her eyes are but it's never occurred to me to be offended I just say 'I know they're gorgeous thanks' and no one has ever replied 'actually I was being rude' so it's never offended me

I just snorted imagining somebody saying "no I was being rude?" snorepatrol.

If ever I'm tempted to take offence I always try to see if there is any malice intended - if not then I just jog on. In your case I doubt anyone is trying to insult your child. When I was about 12 a younger cousin asked me if I was a boy or a girl. I just assumed he was a bit thick rather than feeling hurt (also it wasn't an entirely unjustified question - my mother had my blonde curls off when I was 5 and wouldn't let me grow my hair again until I was a teenager as it was "too difficult to manage" so I had a crew cut and a monobrow until I was 14. I don't remember any other such comments (surprisingly!).

Yabu.

I have massive eyes, as do my dc. People comment on their eyes all the time and it's always a positive thing. Big eyes are generally considered to be attractive, unlike your example of a big nose. You don't need to say that big eyes are beautiful. Commencing on them is already a compliment.

You are being very precious, which your dd could well be picking up on.

speak to your gp

It might look normal to you, if you see it every day, but for strangers to comment on it ALL THE TIME indicates it may well be out of the range of normal.

Sorry to hear your DD has fat frog eyes op and a freakish command of the English language.

People say it about my DD too. I also call her my little froggy. Not sure either of them are an insult really

Oh yes you weren't upset at all and your comments wrre just banter!
Ofcourse they were
I wouldn't try this on nm either if you have the same attitude, they won't put up with it either.
They've got a lot harsher

Have I missed a post where the op has been really horrible or something? Some of the replies on here are unnecessarily nasty.

My DD has massive blue eyes, really deep blue and often gets comments from strangers. I think it's nice! We think she is gorgeous and are glad that others agree! Can't be as bad as something someone said once to us (a colleague of my hb)...hasn't she got a squat nose?! I felt like punching her in the nose! Cheeky mare! I can understand how protective you feel as if people don't say a positive word as well as saying about big eyes it can possibly seem that it's a bit rude. Big eyes are desirable though, so maybe you are being a bit sensitive?xx

Karlakitten1 now that is mean!

My 17mo dd gets this all the time about her hair. She has lots of it and it's ridiculously curly. It gets old hearing "oh that hair!" Every time you leave the house. Hair was one of her first words she hears it that much! I get that sometimes people just try to engage in idle chit chat, especially around small kids. I don't lose sleep about it, my dd does refer to her "messy hair" right enough which is a wee shame, but the truth hurts I suppose!

NerrSnerr you said it once this child gets it all the time.

Children do not always like things that set them apart, even if those things are normally viewed as 'good'. I'm really surprised so many people can't get that!

GertrudeMoo you don't need therapy, just some people on mumsnet are a bit mean!