DD's refusing to wear a bra, her Head of Year is saying she isn't allowed at school.

[EmmelineW]

DD is 14 (Yr 9) she tried a bra at 12, hated it and has refused to wear one since. She did try a sports bra, which she wore a couple of times in the day but now refuses and would only wear for PE. She's very confident and popular, so it hasn't ever caused any teasing (she normally makes a joke and is very vocal about not wearing one, she says that if she wasn't, she would be bullied because of it).

She had PE today, which was the first lesson she refused to wear her sports bra, she was told to not take part by her PE teacher - her PE teacher is very 'down with the kids' and mentioned it to her privately.

I would just like to say, previously to this, I was called in to make sure that she had a female role model to talk to about periods/bras as it had come to their attention, that was all cleared up.

Head of Year sent her home today because of it and said she isn't allowed back until she wears one, as it's put under the same category as having a short skirt. Where do we stand with this? Does it come under uniform issues? I'm not really sure what they're saying she can't come back for rule wise.

I can't believe any school would do something that would so obviously open them uo to being sued for sex discrimination.

Wearing a bra is a personal choice.

Forcing teenage girls into strapoing up their breasts so boys won't maje comments is

*To all those saying she shouldn't have to wear a bra

Would you be happy with my son not wearing pants* - I wouldn't give a shiny shit if your son wore pants or not, I obviously wouldn't know... unless he chose to mention it, in which case I still wouldn't give a shit. Holy fuck this thread is weird.

Can't she just put a bra on?
It's kind of a non issue really. If my daughter was going out not fully dressed I would be having words.

Oh and her boobs will be down to her ankles by the times she's 25, if she's exercising without a bra or sports bra

Does she find bras uncomfortable or is it more of a feminist thing? Or is she wishing she didn't have them at all?

Are they saying she has to wear one all the time or just for PE? For PE sounds very sensible for current/future health and body shape, surely?

If she is as flat-chested as me, I doubt anyone would notice, but I would have thought there could be damage/droop if she is a C cup or bigger and does PE without a bra.

Her call. I frequent don't wear bras, but I do wear a cami vest top usually.

I wonder do the overweight boys have to wear bras for PE

Men and boys can get away with showing their boobs off. It's culturally acceptable for them to show their breasts and to take their tops off / let them be seen through their clothes.

Double standards?

Well I suppose as a society we have decided that a woman's breasts and nipples shouldn't be visible in a professional (like work or school) environment

Society can fuck off then, what underwear women choose to wear is up to themselves, not society.

I seem to be going against the grain here but for the sake of others I think she should wear one. DD is 11 and wears a crop top, it covers her modesty. I am far from prudish too if that's what you think

Why should we wear underwear for the sake of other people? And no, it doesn't cover her "modesty", it covers her breasts (such as they may be, at 11), and yes, you are prudish if you think she needs to wear one for the sake of other people.

In one universe, no-one has to wear anything they don't want to and so fucking what if it makes others uncomfortable or there are nipples poking out in class. Everyone should do what they like and let's string up the oppressors who force us into the shackles of convention. Teenaged boys are not remotely interested in or distracted by nipples or wobbling breasts

I'm sure they are. When I was a teen in the middle ages boys were also distracted by

• 'cute' girls
• girls' legs
• girls flicking their hair
• girls sucking lollipops

etc etc!

If you follow your line of logic why don't teen girls wear burkhas to stop troubling the menz?

There are no 'nipples poking out', she is not showing her genitals. Those things would be unacceptable. Not wearing a specific type of undergarment should not be a problem unless you a fashion model or a porn star.

Pretty much every school shirt I see kids wearing is see through to varying degrees (Secondary teacher) - so if she isn't wearing a camisole or something underneath it may be deemed inappropriate.

I'm another one wondering why she is being so vocal about it - if it's her private choice and her shirt isn't too see through then presumably no-one would know if she wasn't vocal about it?

Oh and btw I am a DD and NEVER don't put a bra on, even in the house by myself.

I'm with Arni.

Loving "interesting first post" comments

This thread is such a perfect example of women colluding in sexism

Id have killed to have something to fill a bra, I was still in a C&A 28AA until 16! (And now post child I'm gazing lovingly at my 28DD boobs, it only took another 16 years!!)

Ask the school the reasons and discuss with daughter a compromise. If she is super vocal about not wearing it they may be trying to make a point of principal.

If she doesn't want to wear a bra she may have to compromise with a slip or a cami.

Also, I think the penis analogy only works if the boys would be wearing white semi-translucent trousers...

I would go fucking nuclear if my DD was sent home from school for this. Thank fuck I don't have a DD then I guess huh?!

BUT, I DO have 3 DS's & funnily enough they all know the onus is on them as to how they manage themselves around the opposite sex - NOT that girls have to avoid 'short skirts' etc.

NavyandWhite I can honestly say I would be completely fine with that!

To all those saying she shouldn't have to wear a bra, would you be ok about a woman going bra less in your DH's place of work? - I don't have a DH but if I did then of course I would be 'ok' about it, why the hell wouldn't I be FFS? If it's good enough for good ole Charlie Dimmock....

I don't see why on earth she should have to wear one if she doesn't want to.

As for making others 'uncomfortable', if a normal female body makes them that uncomfortable then they clearly have some issues, and if they do have such issues, they could always, you know, try looking at her face instead of at her chest. That's pretty basic manners that everyone should have been taught way before secondary school, surely?

Show your DD this:

www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/students-stage-braless-protest-after-girl-punished-for-violating-school-dress-code-a7069711.html

Schools don't usually have an underwear policy because one isn't usually needed, I've never heard of a girl going around not wearing a bra and making sure everyone knows it.

School shirts can be quite see-through, I'm more used to girls refusing to take their blazers off in hot weather because they don't want to be that visible.

If she was going around saying that she wasn't wearing any knickers would that still be acceptable to those who say broadcasting she isn't wearing a bra is fine? That sort of behaviour would be very disruptive in a school environment.

It's more likely that an underwear section would be added to the uniform - boys should wear appropriate pants, girls should wear underwear including a bra/sports bra/vest top.

would you be ok about a woman going bra less in your DH's place of work?

What an odd question do you have trust issues with your DH or something? Why would it be anyone's DH's issue if a woman in their work went braless?

Love your name OP
As for wearing a bra

Ask the head teacher to show you where in the school rules this is stated. Will this apply to the boys

I didnt wear a bra to school probably 50% of the time as I found them uncomfortable. No one ever seemed to notice until they bra twingers tried to pull the straps - then they got a fuck off. I guess they thought it was strapless or something, I don't know.

Your not an attention seeking freak just because you don't wear a bra

To all those saying she shouldn't have to wear a bra, would you be ok about a woman going bra less in your DH's place of work?

Some probably do.

What do you think is going to happen if a woman goes braless in one's husbands place of work? He won't be able to control himself? He'll shag her against the water cooler?

I have a dd in the year below and she doesn't wear a bra. She is very slim and has small breasts. She wears a crop top as nipples show through school shirts.
I have no idea when she needs to start wearing one. I've asked periodically but she says no.
I'm

Navyandwhite I genuinely can't see why it would bother me in the slightest. My husband isn't some kind of salivating creature that goes round staring at women's breasts, trying to figure out if they're wearing a bra or not.