DD's refusing to wear a bra, her Head of Year is saying she isn't allowed at school.

[EmmelineW]

DD is 14 (Yr 9) she tried a bra at 12, hated it and has refused to wear one since. She did try a sports bra, which she wore a couple of times in the day but now refuses and would only wear for PE. She's very confident and popular, so it hasn't ever caused any teasing (she normally makes a joke and is very vocal about not wearing one, she says that if she wasn't, she would be bullied because of it).

She had PE today, which was the first lesson she refused to wear her sports bra, she was told to not take part by her PE teacher - her PE teacher is very 'down with the kids' and mentioned it to her privately.

I would just like to say, previously to this, I was called in to make sure that she had a female role model to talk to about periods/bras as it had come to their attention, that was all cleared up.

Head of Year sent her home today because of it and said she isn't allowed back until she wears one, as it's put under the same category as having a short skirt. Where do we stand with this? Does it come under uniform issues? I'm not really sure what they're saying she can't come back for rule wise.

poster A11TheSmallTh1ngs

Exactly

I would expect my son to wear pants for his own self respect but also to not make others feel akward

At school they often have to work in groups Ect unless she attends a girls school I know my ds would stear well clear

The absolutely only circumstances where this would be vaguely acceptable is if as others have said her blouses are see-through. If that is the same she can wear something else underneath.

Regardless of the size of her breasts, it is entirely up to her what sort of underwear she wears. Do they insist all the year 7 girls who have yet to develop also wear bras? Probably not, so ask them on what basis they are discriminating? Breast size?

'Sorry Mrs X your daughters breasts are too big for school'?

Can you see her breasts though her blouse/t-shirt? If so I guess the school might be able to push her for wearing a bra. I wouldn't go in to work with my bare breasts seen under my blouse to protect my own modesty more than anything.

Could she not just find a bra she can get on with for PE at least? I'm not large breasted only a B cup but I can't do exercise with them moving about and it's not comfy to exercise without a bra.

Sorry you said she needed a email role model

Are you a dad

I'm guessing the actual issue is that she's so vocal (as you put it) about it. It could be that how shes vocalising is very inappropriate.

some people don't like bras that's totally ok and nobody should insist someone should have to wear one

Why is she vocal about it?

sigh, as annoying as it it....and clearly it's raised some feminist hackles

cant she just follow the rules and wear a comfortable sloggi type bra top?

there are battles worth fighting, this is not Emmeline Pankhurst and the bloody vote - and ultimately she will be more comfortable in life if she wears a bra

I think they are handling this poorly, but pick your battles....

www.figleaves.com/uk/product/TS-25010/Sloggi-Double-Comfort-top/?size=&colour=Black&c=ppc&src=gguk_feed&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Shopping%20-%20Capture%20All&utm_term=1100701948538&utm_content=Capture%20All&gclid=CJmMrIbohM4CFUU5jgodYrcM-A&gclsrc=ds&noc=1

Non bra wearer thread

For anyone thinking everyone has to wear a bra.

Not to mention the thread discussing men being topless in the heat which we all have to be fine about

It all depends on if her boobs are visible through her uniform? If she's an A cup I don't see the demand for a bra but if she's a D cup ( like I was at 14) then I can see the need for demanding a bra.

How she can exercise without a bra if she's got boobs without them all over the place I do not know.

ultimately she will be more comfortable in life if she wears a bra

Big fat hairy bollocks to this. Its entirely individual whether bras are more comfortable or not.

If she had very small boobs and wasn't vocal none would no so I would imagine she is taunting the teachers with this

I am not wearing a bra lala you can't make me teenager bull shit would you allow her not not wear knickers there are lots of bras out there non wired nursing crop tops

I don't think she should have to wear one if she doesn't want to.
Some women with large breasts find a bra feels better and prefer the support, but to be honest as a smaller breasted woman I don't feel like I need the support, I find going bra less much more comfortable. Could your DD try a white vest as others have said, or a crop top or something just to shut them up? No way should she have to wear a proper bra just because the school says so.

She isn't massively large chested.

No, I'm her mum! However, they were unsure if I was talking to her about things she needs to know about, as in being a good role model for her.

Will reply to any other questions when home.

Interesting first post.

I think that she should wear something supportive for PE, unless very small chested. She will do herself no good if she doesn't.

As women, we have a choice to wear bras. However, we also have to have some level of social awareness, so if school shirts are especially see-through, perhaps she should wear a thin cami or vest underneath.

There is a British Journal of Sports Medicine report from 2008 that states that the breast tissue can become damaged if a bra is not worn for exercise. Trying to find the link.

Burnt mine in the60s and still don't wear one.

To all those saying she shouldn't have to wear a bra

Would you be happy with my son not wearing pants

I seem to be going against the grain here but for the sake of others I think she should wear one. DD is 11 and wears a crop top, it covers her modesty. I am far from prudish too if that's what you think.

I would not let my daughter go to school with a normal school shirt and nothing underneath, sorry. That is horrible for everybody (kids and teachers). Perhaps she does not realise that school shirts are (usually) see through?

Well she shouldn't be missing her PE lesson so needs to wear appropriate supportive underwear for sport (just like people wearing fencing padding or a cricket box or shin pads).

If her blouse is see through she should wear something underneath it but I don't know why this could not be a vest or camisole. Why does she not like the bras she has? Are they too uncomfortable? Would she be more ok with a crop stop style bra?

You can even get Camis with built in support I wear these types for bed

Quite surprised by this.

It's something they would have done at my high school - but that was run by nuns, back in the 1980s.

Not sure what I think, tbh!

I'm on the app so can't AS but it's a bit odd to be starting a thread about a 14 year old girl's breasts/bras but then saying immediately that you're not engaging yourself as you're out. Sorry to be cynical etc, but perhaps people should bear this in mind before discussing their own or DDs' bodies.

Sorry if you are on the level OP, but it's just a bit strange so start such a contentious thread at a time you're not able to contribute yourself, especially with all the trolls and/or Daily Mail fuckwits "journalists" at the moment