DD's refusing to wear a bra, her Head of Year is saying she isn't allowed at school.

[EmmelineW]

DD is 14 (Yr 9) she tried a bra at 12, hated it and has refused to wear one since. She did try a sports bra, which she wore a couple of times in the day but now refuses and would only wear for PE. She's very confident and popular, so it hasn't ever caused any teasing (she normally makes a joke and is very vocal about not wearing one, she says that if she wasn't, she would be bullied because of it).

She had PE today, which was the first lesson she refused to wear her sports bra, she was told to not take part by her PE teacher - her PE teacher is very 'down with the kids' and mentioned it to her privately.

I would just like to say, previously to this, I was called in to make sure that she had a female role model to talk to about periods/bras as it had come to their attention, that was all cleared up.

Head of Year sent her home today because of it and said she isn't allowed back until she wears one, as it's put under the same category as having a short skirt. Where do we stand with this? Does it come under uniform issues? I'm not really sure what they're saying she can't come back for rule wise.

What's the 'top-trick' (I'm out of touch.... ) Would it work on 40-something boobs? Horrible suspicion the answer is 'no'....

I haven't read the whole thread, but really, who cares? If you want to wear a bra, do. If not, don't If you get a load os stick because of the crap society we live in, and are prepared to put up/deal with it, fine.

It's none of the school's business if she wears a bra or not.

PE polo goes over the top of the blouse, but don't put arms through, then you unbutton the shirt under the polo and pull it out. Didn't you do it at school?

Please explain the top-trick, op

Oh. No, no need. We wore bras...

85% of the girls at her school do it, they wear bras... I wore a bra at school, I did it...

I hate bras

I did it in the car park outside next on Thursday as I was too hot and bought a vest top.

I also hate bras but at 40J I have to wear one. If I could get away with it there's no way.

like I said, bras are a talking point in 14yo DD's experience, the girls all but show them off when changing for PE (not fancy bras really, 95% are wearing M&S Angel range, I'd bet). Those who don't need a bra will have a crop top, instead.

I hate buttoning up DD's shirts at home, so unbuttoning & rebuttoning sounds tedious.

I thought it was standard that all girls could get into games kit or a swimming costume and back again without ever exposing chest or arse.

You are right there, Sonic. In the multi ethnic school I last worked at the girls would have died of shame if they had seen anyone else in their bra, let alone naked. As for exposing a micron of their own skin - completely out of the question.

Yep OP that was the done thing at our school too. All girls there, most probably wearing bras at some stage but at that time we were s pretty self conscious lot. Now me personally not at all.

When we were changing for swimming or after PE, even after having a shower, we were all experts at getting dressed and undressed without exposing flesh or underwear!
There was absolutely no comparing of bras!!

We were even able to take showers with our clothes on! Wrap towel around, pull bra straps down, keep knickers on of course, and run through underneath the jets. Not a drop of water touched me in my school career.

the OP's daughter spends part of the PE period topless+knickers while everyone else is wearing a bra+knickers.

Where do all those people on here get the idea that bras are the only undergarment girls could possibly wear?

I own a vast variety of undershirts (don't know if that's what you mean by "vest"), and I do not get how one can so be ignorant as to assume that a teenage girl who does not wear a bra because BRAS ARE DAMN UNCOMFORTABLE!!! would not wear anything to prevent being naked in the changing room.

You moan on and on about oh how terrible teenage boys are, how they ogle and drool (with your silent approval as the girl deserves it for not wearing a bra, apparently) yet it never occurs to you that this girl could wear something ^other than a bra that covers her breasts just the same"?

WHY ON EARTH?

And where did you get that 'free the nipple campaign' business from?
Your own imagination?

And you'd think she was a tart? Jesus. I fear for my daughters' teenage years with people like you still around.

You think a 14 yr old is a tart? for not wearing a bra and refusing to be enbarrassed or having to hide the fact? Tosser!

Glad "Free the nipple" is a real campaign, and not one that I personally look down on! I won't be "freeing" my own nipple because I am far too shaped by society's views of women's breast, but I admire the courage of the women that do.

I don't get the "it's my thread". Well, don't start one if you don't want opinions - especially in AIBU.

Until there is a "I AM REASONABLE" topic where only OPs are allowed, just posting to themselves, other points of view can be heard!

^^^

The OP has been fine with different opinions, she has only got arsey when people have said horrible things about her daughter or her parenting.

Posting something on AIBU does not mean the OP has to accept every opinion given with good grace.

Yes it is AIBU but it's perfectly acceptable for an OP to argue back if they don't agree with you.

I would think she was a tart, and most of the boys would think she was easy.

I think you are an ignorant nasty twat.

glad Free the NIpple

noisyrice - you absolute fucking wanker. You're talking about a 14 year old, grow the fuck up!

tart and easy

Good grief are you a 12 year old boy? Grow up.

I don't see why she has to wear a bra. Certainly don't see why she has to modify her dress to placate men or anyone really.

Uniform is a ridiculous notion anyway.