AIBU to get our nanny to take dd to the doctor because I can't face it?

[6timesthemess]

My dd is wetting herself again, no pain , no other signs of infections. Doctors appointment Monday. I only work two days a week but for those days we have a nanny who comes to look after the children.

Every time I go to the doctors he questions me on why I am so anxious - is anyone harming me at home.

Last time he said "why won't you let me help you?". I feel terrible when I leave.

AIBU to just get our nanny to take her - I feel terrible not being there but I'm not sure my mental state can take another 10 minutes of questioning.

I think it might arouse suspicion if DD went with the nanny?

You have taken your first tiny steps x Make an appointment with your GP. Take a sheet of paper on which you have written " My partner wanted me to abort our baby. He regularly raped me within the marriage. He has tried to modify his behaviour but l am fearful. Sometimes l am not even sure if his behaviour is changed, or because of my own medications, l have become more numb to it"