to think I'm not a bad parent because my child hasn't learnt to swim?

[purplefan5]

DS is 7, he doesn't know how to swim and he is still in armbands, is this really so bad? I seem to get the worst looks when we go swimming, etc.

Is it really that bad? He doesn't want to do swimming lessons.. Are you supposed to force them?

Arm bands at age 7 are pretty embarrassing. Stick to a noodle and/or kicking board. I would consider lessons as I think learning to swim is an essential life skill. However, not putting him lessons does NOT make you a bad mother whatsoever.

I have higher than expectations of dd than just to be able float on her back

Hmm. I think you know what the poster was getting at - that classes are about getting kids into clubs and maybe there needs to be more emphasis on personal survival etc, and butterfly, tumble turns and stroke technique can come later. Apparently now, you have to do butterfly to progress through the stages, that is ludicrous if you can swim 1500m front crawl eg for the swimathon.

I agree that swimming is a life skill but as a leisure activity. Not many people will survive being in the sea for very long, so if your plane crashes into the sea, whether or not you can swim is likely to be irrelevant. However, you do need it if you want to try kayaking or sailing or just mess about on water.

My ds started lessons at 5. I still needed to get armbands for him at 7 when we were on holiday because the pool was too deep and his swimming wasn't good enough. He was a very slow learner, but he still goes now at 13 and is working towards his Honours.

It's not scaremongering.
I've seen one child pulled out of a pool whilst on holiday who then needed to be resuscitated. It horrific.
I've seen another child in a council pool in the UK rescued by a very sharp eyed lifeguard after getting into difficulty.
Unless you're never planning on going on holiday, visiting open water or swimming pools, barring SN, why on earth would you not teach your kids to swim.

My family spend a lot of time near the water so my dd (only 18mnths) will have lessons. We go swimming regularly so she is used to the water, but for us it's a necessity

Loving all the judgemental mums on this thread. Yanbu if your kid hates it, don't force them to learn. When I was young most kids in my class couldn't swim.

dm taught me at 7

7 is the optimal age for learning new skills.

and no you dont need swimming lessons if you cant afford it, there is no space.

teach your child yourself.

bert one of the very first fundamental teachings of learning how to swim is floating. Floating on your front and back is the very basis of any stroke.

Once again talking out of your arse.

"Once again talking out of your arse."

Ah. Swimming teacher, are you?

No it's not a requirement that they leave school with their 25m under their belt - but it's an aim. Some areas will have catch up lessons later on on the year for the weaker swimmers but it totally depends on how much money is left in the kitty. Some schools use that money for funding towards school meals.

Yes

Non negotiable life skill here too.

I loved swimming and was a competitive swimmer in primary school. As was my brother, as were all my close primary friends.
I was allowed to quit other sports but swimming "could save your life" so I wasn't allowed to quit until I was 7. Sadly by then I was addicted!!!
At 14 I taught my same aged friend to swim one summer because she was mortified that she had never learned. Her parents didn't see it as an "essential skill" but it really interferes with your ability to socialise (I'm including holidays in that) if you can't swim. As teens we went swimming in the holidays, as young adults we holidays together.

My first DC is due at Christmas. My DM and her friend who are both former swimming coaches will be teaching my baby swimming because it's how I was raised. I'm not talking about water baby type classes. I'm not interested in remortgaging my house for a "smells like teen spirit" photo of my baby, I'm talking water confidence, no armbands or flotation aids and typically free swimming by 3.

My DH can swim. His technique makes my teeth itch but he is a confident and competent swimmer. He agrees that swimming is "essential"
He's not as crazy as me but I would rather pay for regular swimming than a gadget, for example.

Bertrand, your opinion on swimming and attitude towards lessons is something I have never encountered before. Your views are so totally outside my recognised version of normal that it's given me food for thought. I disagree with you but you have definitely made me think.

There is a huge difference between "water proofing"- that is, teaching children how to turn on their backs and float, and how to turn and climb out if they fall into water and the usual type of swimming lessons which concentrate on being able to swim distances and to use different strokes. Mumsnet and the world is full of unhappy tiny children going to years of expensive swimming lessons and not getting anywhere. There are lots on this thread.

Being able to swim 25m is not a life skill for most people. Particularly most 5 year olds. Being able to float is. And teaching a child to float on her back is something that most parents can do without lining the coffers of swimming schools.

Hmm that's semantics. What you are calling water proofing is actually what everyone else is calling swimming in relation to babies and toddlers. That's actually what these lessons teach. Once those skills are in place you can teach them to paddle.

I disagree with your opinion that floating is the only life skill you need. The ability to float wont get you out of danger in a river or at sea in a rip when you actually need to propel yourself to the edge of the water body to avoid danger. It might preserve your life until help turns up (if it's going to).

Anyway, as I say, I've never in my life seen someone so thoroughly against teaching children how to swim.

Swimming isn't a LIFE skill!

It's a handy thing to be able to do...but life skills include things such as problem solving and empathy.

My 12 year old (almost 12) manages perfectly well. She can swim a few strokes...nobody laughs at her...she has lots of sporty and non sporty mates. We live in Australia ffs!

She doesn't go on boats. Why does she HAVE to swim?

I really think that forcing a young child to go to swimming lessons is counterproductive . If they love it, then great. Our dd really hated swimming lessons and was royally messed about in being moved from group to group. She had a batch of low level illnesses : cold, mild skin problems, chicken pox which no doubt prompted the messing about. She really tried but I could see she hated it. We took a step back, her school class had swimming lessons, we supplemented this with going at the weekend and she has really come on. Just got 50 m badge. I want her to be strong and confident in the water when she is ready and we are well on the way. She's 9.

She doesn't HAVE to.

In the worst case (not likely but also not unusual) scenario that the boat sinks what is she going to do? How many kids have you got and how many can you keep afloat until help arrives?

"Mumsnet and the world is full of unhappy tiny children going to years of expensive swimming lessons and not getting anywhere. There are lots on this thread. "

In my area most children barring special needs, progress one stage two to three terms. The level of progress made depends on the amount of practice and the ablity of the child to follow instructions.

Swimming lessons are a waste of time if your child can't concentrate enough to follow instructions. Often children start swimming lessons far too young and get nowhere. Just like some children get nowhere if you try to teach them to read before seven years old. Maybe there needs to be some guide for readiness for formal swimming instruction.

My son started swimming lessons at seven years old. He caught up many children of his own age within a year. However starting swimming lessons late meant that he never developed confidence in the water. At 14 years old he can swim 25m breastroke, front crawl and back stroke, but is not happy in the water.

I think they still start swimming in schools in infants - possibly even reception and Y1? - here. Then again this is an island, so there is always a lot of emphasis on children learning to swim for safety reasons.

Navy yes and God forbid she got struck by lightening, run over by a car, caught a killer bug or any other awful thing.

She hates the water and avoids it. Falling in is unlikely.

"Anyway, as I say, I've never in my life seen someone so thoroughly against teaching children how to swim"

I'm not. I love swimming - it's fun. What I'm against the practically religious fervor of the " it's a life skill" "did wanted to do ballet but I insisted she went to swimming lessons instead" line.

And the idea that going to swimming lessons at 3 is going to help you if you get caught in a rip tide is positively laughable. The life skill you need there is not putting yourself in stupidly dangerous situations.

if God forbid your DD fell into some water whilst out with her friends ( like many of the examples given throughout this thread ) and there was nobody there to save her, wouldn't you rather her be able to swim enough to be able to save herself?

And the idea that going to swimming lessons at 3 is going to help you if you get caught in a rip tide is positively laughable. The life skill you need there is not putting yourself in stupidly dangerous situations

You see, I agree with both of these statements. Swimming is a safety issue - but only to a point. If you have to be in the water (eg evacuated from a boat) then you don't want to panic. If you fall in a canal it's helpful if, as Bertrand says, you know how to float. But beyond that, probably even if you're a lifeguard, if you're washed out into a roaring tide fully clothed then having a 1500m badge is going to be no help to you whatsoever.

If kids enjoy swimming, great. If they like poolside holidays, good for them. If they don't and they enjoy something else, equally great. If you don't like swimming, then kayaking and snorkelling probably won't be your thing either. Certainly never appealed to me. No great loss to me - I have many other interests. I think you need to be clear about what argument you are making.