to think I'm not a bad parent because my child hasn't learnt to swim?

[purplefan5]

DS is 7, he doesn't know how to swim and he is still in armbands, is this really so bad? I seem to get the worst looks when we go swimming, etc.

Is it really that bad? He doesn't want to do swimming lessons.. Are you supposed to force them?

[StrawberryQuik]

Ilovetea82 - DH was another one who got taken to years of swimming lessons but still can't really swim. He could never manage 10m and move up to the next class, bless him :(

OP - of course you're not a bad parent, back when I was a kid loads of us only started learning in juniour school.

[arethereanyleftatall]

I'm a swimming teacher.

Yes, I do think children should be swimming without armbands at 7.

For my children swimming lessons are as non negotiable as school or sleep.

Most schools offer 1 year of school swimming. With up to 30 children in the same class, for 30mins, for 39 weeks of the year, this is no where near enough time to teach an absolute beginner to swim.

I do think parents need to take some responsibilty.

[idontlikealdi]

It's non optional for my DCs. Its a life skill.

[paap1975]

In my eyes, swimming is an essential life skill. You never know when he might need it!

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

No judging here.

But do swap arm bands for a noodle or float, or one of those swim suits that have floats you can take in and out.

Much more fun, helps with water confidence and allows a transition into things like floating, swimming on the spot and actual swimming.

Swimming at the start isn't a binary can swim/ can't swim thing, more a continuum, and your DS might be at one end of a continuum but by allowing him to play around in water out of arm bands and not stressing, he'll naturally move along that continuum until he's ready for swim lessons.

In short, no you are not being unreasonable :)

[FeliciaJollygoodfellow]

If you are then I am too -shrugs-

I have two seven year olds and neither can swim. They and some lessons last year but we couldn't get into the next session due to numbers and there's nowhere else to go.

How about some people not being able to afford swimming lessons? Should the parents still be making cuts elsewhere to make sure they learn?

[ItWasNeverASkirt]

You're not a bad parent.

But swimming is a really useful (potentially life-saving!) skill, and it's not too late to start.

Lose the arm bands and he might have more of an incentive to play around and get used to being in the water without a flotation device.

[Paulat2112]

Not a bad parent. I would say you need to force him to go to lessons. It is a life skill that really needs to be learned. I was petrified of water as a child, i could swim but hated being splashed and only learned to put my face under the water when i was an adult and took a few 1-1 lessons with my daughters teacher :)

Round here you can get group lessons for a few quid a lesson, think the block booking work out around £3.50 a lesson. My kids have always had 1-1 lessons though, maybe that would be something you could think about as most kids at 7 can pretty much swim. Maybe once he has progressed you could send to group lessons instead of 1-1 as they are expensive.

I of course may be biased as my kids are all water babies lol, dd been in the swim club since she was 6!

[treaclesoda]

Where I live you can't even get swimming lessons at the council pool until you are over the age of seven. I'd love to be able to get lessons for my four year old.

[rainbowunicorn]

Being able to swim is a must for us. Arm bands were never used, all they do is hinder the natural floating position and give a false sense of security. Also I see so many people who as soon as the kid can swim 25 meters they stop any form of lessons. Being able to swim 25 meters in a pool and saving yourself if in difficulty are two very different things.

[BombadierFritz]

Its probably the arm bands getting the funny looks. You only seem to see small kids in them.
But yes he needs to learn to swim

[VioletBam]

My 12 year old can only swim a few strokes. She HATES the water and I would NEVER force her to learn. I tried. It was awful. So I got her private lessons...still awful...even one to one.

DH taught the youngest DD to swim. She's 8 now and can surf well too.

I'm also a water hater and my DD will not be made to swim if she does not want to.

[IceBeing]

My DD wouldn't go anywhere near swimming lessons, (or nursery or school for that matter), so I took her swimming myself every sunday for the last 3 years. She is just 5 now and can swim 25 m and get a dive toy of the bottom of the 2m deep end of the pool.

I guess for us, swimming was less negotiable than going to school (which she won't be doing).

[DollyMcDolly]

My son has autism and can't swim. He is 8. It's very unlikely that he will ever learn as he hates getting wet, especially clothes. Won't even go in a paddling pool

[freetrampolineforall]

We have been through this. Dd is 9 and has been a weak swimmer. Lessons have been patchy - illness/getting swapped around groups. I refused to force her to learn. I'm mildly disabled but swimming is one thing I can do. I didn't want her to grow up hating it. She's had lessons at school and every weekend we have supplemented this by trips to the pool working at her pace. It has worked and she has just earned her 50m badge. I am so proud of her and so happy that this is one sport we can do together. She's not a Billy Whizz but I don't care. Let others sneer because I have a dd who loves to swim and is growing in confidence. And I haven't had to cajole her or make her miserable to do it.

[ArmySal]

Absolutely paramount mine learn to swim.

Something all children should be taught I believe.

[DivaBeliever]

It's not too late! You can learn to swim at any age, but the older you get, the harder it is to be "a learner". Try getting armbands on a teenager...He won't want to be in a pool with his peers who can swim if he can't ...fast forward to the those beach holidays with his mates, all larking about and he gets pushed in the pool. That's when you will wish you'd persevered...or fast forward to when he has kids and he can't take them to the pool, or in the sea. And they all have to sit on the side and miss all the fun...Do it sooner rather than later OP. Hope he's swimming soon

[IceBeing]

To answer the OP no, you aren't a bad parent - you are catching your DS up on an important skill.

The armbands are a bad idea though as they won't help him swim and are actually a hindrance when you are one to one and there aren't any safety issues.

Make it all about building confidence and having fun!

[FeckinCrutches]

I'm sure a lot of people can't actually afford to get their children swimming lessons. They are between £12-15 here. That's a huge outlay for some people.

They might not live near a swimming pool to teach the children themselves either.

[zofranks]

my daughter has had to learn, she was allowed to give up ballet but not swimming. That said not all her friends can swim so no YANBU

[useyourimagination]

Is it swimming he doesn't like or water? I spent a long time just getting my dc used to being in the water before we even thought about learning to swim. Now they are both confident swimmers although one enjoys it more than the other.

[BlossomHillOne]

Children really need to swim. My 3 DSs could all swim 25m at by the age of 3. DS1 gave up when he did his mile and just swims for fun. DS2 is a strong swimmer and a member of a diving club and DS3 is a lazy little thing, but can still do 600m at age 6.

We are on holiday at the moment and it really is only the toddlers who are wearing armbands - if he can stand up in the pool you need to take them off or he will never learn. Then he needs some lessons.

[Goingtobeawesome]

Op, ignore the "should" comments. Ime it has nothing to do with how many lessons your kids has, or how many times they go, but being physically able.