to be a bit sad about this thing my colleague did?

[Nabootique]

Colleague has just been on holiday and got back to the office today. She gave each member of the team aside from two she doesn't actually speak to (no bad blood, I don't think, they're just very quiet and keep to themselves) a small gift except me. She and I do talk and have had shopping trips at lunch together, etc. I also did her a favour before she went away that she asked me to do (something I have done a couple of times for her before).

I am not entitled. I don't expect a present, obviously, and she is allowed to do as she likes, but it felt like I was left out in a very pointed way. AIBU to be a bit hurt? She does have some form for this sort of behaviour.

I felt bad for the other two as well. It was a very small gift, so I don't think it would have been a cost issue.

It's a bit weird, but I wouldn't worry about it. Unless you're going to loudly ask where yours is.

YANBU. Very odd anyway to bring back tat from holidays to give to colleagues.

Did she dole them out in front of everybody?

Seems mean to me.

YANBU. She sounds very rude.

She left them on desks.

Could yours have got knocked off the desk or picked up by someone else?

I don't think so Laiste. Desks are very separate, if you see what I mean. There's no confusion about whose is whose or anything, and no one is in the office that early. She was second person in. I was fourth.

Odd behaviour.

I must say that it wouldn't occur to me to get gifts to dole out at work at all. I only get the occasional one for very close family if I have been away without them. Where do you draw the line otherwise?

How big is the team, she had to draw a line somewhere. She shot herself in the foot though. You might say no next time she asks you for a favour.

It is rude. You don't make public differences between people like that, it's very immature.

How odd - the most anyone I've worked with has bought is a communal box of Turkish Delight.

Just remember it next time she asks you for a favour.

I know what you mean, Topseyt, but I suppose it's like work-friend relationships? But I thought I was one too! I wouldn't ever give gifts to someone I only spoke to about work myself, and she didn't either, but she and I definitely talk about non-work. In fact, she's just been over at my desk asking about different personal things.

She bought for 6 people, so two thirds of the team, which I suppose doesn't sound too bad, really, but it's the exclusion of someone who she is friendly with that I find so odd.

I'm too nice to do that Donkeys It is a fiddly favour though, and I give up my lunch hour to do it when I do.

"I'm too nice to do that Donkeys It is a fiddly favour though, and I give up my lunch hour to do it when I do."

There's being nice & being used!

fair enough. You can't go around everyone, but to blatantly give to others in a small group and leave one person standing there
I wouldn't be pleased either.
If it were a child doing that we'd.be calling it exclusion, but you can hardly go to HR or call ACAS saying "Boo hoo hoo, she got e everyone a present exept me.. Some people are just exclusive clique shits. I'm afraid. They're like cockroaches. There's no eradicating them.
Anyway what ever the gift was. I don't suppose you're short of it. Let her stick it where the sun doesn't shine, sideways

That is not ok. Just like Floggingmolly said, I think if you're going to do for some, do for everyone, or just leave it. I would have felt hurt by that, but also then stubbornly keen not to show anyone that it upset me. Have a gift from us insead!!!

Well the next time she asks you for a favour - say fuck you that you are very busy .

I'm very close to my colleagues and we always bring back something silly from holidays - a bottle opener or a magnet - but there are only four of us in the office. It would be like bringing something back for two but not the third. Strange and rude.

Maybe she has a bigger better gift to give you later?

Personally I would say something. I'd probably say it in a fairly lighthearted way like "just wondered if there was some reason why I was left out of the gifts?" And I wouldn't do the favour for her again unless there was a good reason

What was the gift ? you may of dodged a bullet -tatt-

Maybe the others had given her a gift from their last holiday and she was reciprocating? As it does sound a bit random.

My colleague buys me tat from her holidays and whilst I know it is a lovely thought there are only so many key rings you can use...

I don't do this shopping for gifts while on holiday thing - we would go away for a week and XP would spend 2 days shopping for tat to bring back for his family. Yawn!! So dull. Once we missed a plane home as he disappeared on the last day to buy an gift for his mother and didn't get back until very late and we missed our flight. twat!

then again, I don't shop much at home and I shop very little on holiday - only for necessary items. I'd much rather be doing than buying - though I might bring back some nice biscuits or similar to share at the office.

In fact the only person I would even think of bringing something back from holiday for would be someone who had done me a favour or similar while I had been away - as a show of appreciation and a thank you.

Seems very odd you have been left out OP.

I give up my lunch hour to do it don't do it again!