to be a bit sad about this thing my colleague did?

[Nabootique]

Colleague has just been on holiday and got back to the office today. She gave each member of the team aside from two she doesn't actually speak to (no bad blood, I don't think, they're just very quiet and keep to themselves) a small gift except me. She and I do talk and have had shopping trips at lunch together, etc. I also did her a favour before she went away that she asked me to do (something I have done a couple of times for her before).

I am not entitled. I don't expect a present, obviously, and she is allowed to do as she likes, but it felt like I was left out in a very pointed way. AIBU to be a bit hurt? She does have some form for this sort of behaviour.

Glovebug

What is wrong with these people?? I can't imagine ever, ever thinking that was acceptable. They must have been raised by wolves!

She sounds like a twat. Just don't do anymore favours for her in the future.

I think the fact she is a team leader and doing this is very wrong. In fact I'd talk to HR about it as it is quite excluding and bullying behaviour.

Not nice at all.

The thing about talking to HR, or equivalent, about bullying or exclusionary behaviour - they often don't want to know.

I have worked with someone like this, and my boss had zero interest in shutting her down. Eventually, I just quit.

You don't work in the motor industry do you op? Sounds like my old work place.

A similar thing happened to me with advent calendars. There were four team leaders reporting to the departmental manager. The tls started buying advent calendars for their team each Christmas. Very nice but in no way necessary.

One Christmas (my last one at that place funnily enough.) I was the only person who reported to my team leader and thd only one who didn't get an advent calendar. It wasn't the fact that I didn't have a calendar it was the fact that I was the only one without and people would ask where mine was. I simply said X didn't buy me one and left if at that. He showed himself to be a shit and in fairness, the rest of the team called him on it.

It was just in the long list of minor incidents (and some quite serious ones), which left me feeling excluded and undervalued.

Yanbu

She is a twat & now you know.

Ultimately she's a twat. Says far more about her than it does about you. Totally ignore it. Anyone who did that in my office would be rightly judged as a bellend.

Don't do her the favour next time she asks. Not just because of the excluding behaviour but because she obviously doesn't appreciate it and doesn't seem to care you're losing your dinner break.

You're worth more than that.

Completely agree with okay377

As a team leader that is totally unprofessional - she should treat you all equally. She sounds horrible.

You should all gang up on her, nick her packed lunch and give her a wedgie!

Next time she asks you to do her fiddly favour for her, say 'I'm sorry I'm much too busy searching for my gift'

On the plus side American chocolate is rank as it gets - so at least you avoided having to eat it and make fake 'yum' noises

Don't do her any favours in the future. Ignore her. Bet it was tat anyway!

I think people who do this want those excluded to notice and be sad in private. Or get really angry so you look like the unreasonable one.

Do neither. Loudly exclaim that 'someone must have taken your gift' or similar. When she says there is no gift, laugh and go "Ooooh! Mega awks!" and pull a face like you're embarrassed for her.

User anyone with half a brain cell or more can see that it is not the present that is the issue - but being left out, possibly on purpose, which is nasty. Just like your post.