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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to never want to speak to BIL again

194 replies

Awkwardas · 12/07/2016 06:19

Sisters been married to him for 20 years we've known him For 26 yrs. He's always been a bit funny sometimes fine other times not so, I think he looks down his nose at us. No reason, he's a plumber his dad a dustbin man. Anyway him sis & family booked a holiday so me & my mum decided to surprise them for the last week as its my nieces birthday. We turn up in the second week & bil is clearly.pissed off! We felt very awkward but luckily were in different hotels. We went to see them on our second say & bil completely ignored us, we've known him 26 years & he just blanks us! I now appreciate he wanted family time & we shouldn't have come but I'm utterly pissed off that he thinks its acceptable to ignore us. Would I be wrong to never speak to him again?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 12/07/2016 08:26

And what the hell has his job and his DAD'S job got to do with anything?

ethelb · 12/07/2016 08:26

Mcchicken I think the suggestion is that OP is a troll. I fear the truth is far, far worse!

gettingtherequickly · 12/07/2016 08:28

My ex MIL and FIL did this to us, it's one of the many reasons ex is an ex.

ApocalypseNowt · 12/07/2016 08:34

It sounds like you look down on him not the other way round btw....

Aramynta · 12/07/2016 08:35

You and your mum sound a little narcissistic OP. I actually feel really sorry for your BIL.

Cathaka15 · 12/07/2016 08:37

Not too sure about this. I like my mil and sil. So I wouldn't mind seeing them for the last bit of holidays for my dc bday. But I think my dh would not be happy if they just turned up. If you had issues with bil you should have really thought long and hard about this. Maybe asked if you should turn up to a holiday unanounced thread instead.

branofthemist · 12/07/2016 08:40

My dh would be so pissed off if his mum and sister turned up on our holiday. Really pissed off.

I would be pissed if my family did it. And we actually do go away with my parents occasionally.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 12/07/2016 08:41

Brill Grin I would be so narked if family turned up on my holiday (even if it was a different hotel).

On a different note, I'd love a plumber as a BIL, they're like gold dust here.

bloodymaria · 12/07/2016 08:42

Naaaaahhh.

elodie2000 · 12/07/2016 08:44

So maybe this is real after all. 😡

Done with the best of intentions?

You did it because you wanted to be in on it (their holiday and their celebrations for Their daughter's b'day). You did it because you wanted to. It doesn't seem to have crossed your mind that you would have been invited if they had wanted you there.

You have some apologising to do. When you get home.
In the meantime, keep out of their way.
Also, please don't make it worse by telling them that it was done with them in mind or that you were only acting with good intentions. I doubt they'll be interested in you trying to make yourself feel better!

OopsThereGoMyTrousers · 12/07/2016 08:44

The correct term is refuse collection operative.

AndroidAddict · 12/07/2016 08:47

Blimey I'd hate it if my family or dh's gatecrashed our holiday, whether they were staying with us or in a different hotel. There's just that feeling that, although you know them quite well, you can't properly relax and let go of yourself because there's always a chance you'll have to socialise with them. For me, the whole point of going on holiday is to get away from everyone, not have to see or speak to them after not feel guilty about being so unsociable.

CraftyPenguin · 12/07/2016 08:47

Why on earth did you think it would be a good idea to gate crash their holiday?!

ScarletForYa · 12/07/2016 08:55

Yaburgh! Shock

You gatecrashed their holiday! Shock

It's not him it's you

People go on holiday to get away from it all, ie: you.

RainbowCake · 12/07/2016 08:59
Hmm Well that went well eh? I agree that he is ignoring you so he doesn't tell you exactly what he thinks of you and your little stunt.
P1nkP0ppy · 12/07/2016 09:00

You sound like one of my SILs; it's all about YOU I can just imagine her doing something like this

PrimalLass · 12/07/2016 09:00

Seriously? I don't blame him. As nice as my ILs are, if they crashes our time together as a four then I would struggle to speak to them ever again.

P1nkP0ppy · 12/07/2016 09:01

I suspect they've gone home early to avoid you.

bakeoffcake · 12/07/2016 09:02

Don't worry, he'll never want to speak to you again so you won't have to speak to him!

My step mum did something similar. She wanted it turn up with her sister and children, who live on a different continent and I've met them about 5 times. Fortunately she told me beforehand and I was able to tell her that wasn't going to work for usGrin

PaulDacresMicroPenis · 12/07/2016 09:03

Excellent, I love a 'place-marking for the deletion message with a gif' thread!

to never want to speak to BIL again
fastdaytears · 12/07/2016 09:05

Go. Home. Now.

Text to say "we totally misjudged this, we're sorry and we're waiting for a plane home. Let us take you out for dinner when you get back to apologise"

And don't do it again.

leopardgecko · 12/07/2016 09:05

Like many other people here, if I were your BIL I would never speak to you or your mother again, I would never forgive you, I would certainly never have you in my home again. Come to think of it is I were your sister I would do the same. How could you have done something like this, let alone think it was a good idea?

Your behaviour is unforgiveable.

EightYearsWasted · 12/07/2016 09:06

Jesus, I get pissed off if people turn up at my house without calling to see if it's okay first... a ridiculous stunt like this would send me into orbit!

Elllicam · 12/07/2016 09:07

Oh dear OP I'm sorry you are getting such a tough time. I agree it was a bad idea but you have accepted that so you can apologise to them and move on.

Hoppinggreen · 12/07/2016 09:09

I love my in laws but I would be seriously pissed off if they did this - not that they would as they aren't totally deranged

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