to never want to speak to BIL again

[Awkwardas]

Sisters been married to him for 20 years we've known him For 26 yrs. He's always been a bit funny sometimes fine other times not so, I think he looks down his nose at us. No reason, he's a plumber his dad a dustbin man. Anyway him sis & family booked a holiday so me & my mum decided to surprise them for the last week as its my nieces birthday. We turn up in the second week & bil is clearly.pissed off! We felt very awkward but luckily were in different hotels. We went to see them on our second say & bil completely ignored us, we've known him 26 years & he just blanks us! I now appreciate he wanted family time & we shouldn't have come but I'm utterly pissed off that he thinks its acceptable to ignore us. Would I be wrong to never speak to him again?

What do you mean you haven’t seen them? You said in your OP that you went to see them on your second day. It doesn’t amateur how ‘snotty’ you think he is, you still shouldn’t have crashed their holiday (and you definitely have crashed it, no matter what you think).

OP most people don't need hindsight to know this was a bad idea.

Sorry but I agree with everyone else. It was a dreadful idea. Family time is precious and you deliberately intruded. I'd have been extremely stressed and pissed off if I was in your BIL's position. I think you owe them a very big apology for your thoughtless (and very entitled) behaviour.

We didn't crash his holiday we're in a different hotel & haven't seen them.

Yes you did. You put both of them in a shit position. Especially your sister, who probably agrees with her dh, feels bad for him but then feels slightly bad that you are being ignored.

For the rest of their holiday they will be expecting to see you, wondering if try should ignore you or spend time with you, stick by their guns or let it go.

You have put a massive dampener and stress on to their holiday.

But it's ok because at least you are having a lovely time

The best thing you can do is never speak to him again. You'll be doing him a massive favour.

You crashed their family holiday and are offended that they weren't delighted?

If my in-laws did that to me a would be furious. No OP yanbu to never want to speak to BIL again - I think he will be very grateful if this is your choice.

If this actually happened then you've completely ruined their holiday and if he's had 26 years of similar behaviour no wonder he doesn't like you. I would be gutted if other people turned up on my family holiday - even family I like well. Most people only get one holiday a year, spend months looking forward to it and making plans - it's really a precious time for a family.

Its not that he doesn't like us he's a snotty bastard & has always looked down on us.

Or is he snotty and looks down on you because you have no sense of boundaries? Why in the world would you do this?

I really hope this isn't real. Otherwise, it is rather frightening to think people like OP walk amongst us.

Oh, this thread's a corker isn't it?!

Just go home OP. Your BIL is probably having to rejig what they normally do in order to avoid you and your Mum. Bugger off back home and let him enjoy the last week of his holiday without wondering if his MIL and SIL will pop up.

I need to get inside your head. I need to know why in the name of all that is holy, did you ever think this might be a fun or a good idea? It's beyond me and I want to know.

I cannot believe that anyone would think it would be a good idea to turn up to someone else's holiday and 'surprise' them. That is so monumentally self unaware.

I would be ignoring you, too, if I was your brother in law!

Or is he snotty and looks down on you because you have no sense of boundaries? Why in the world would you do this?.

This!!

You say he's looked down his nose at you for years-why would you think surprising him on his holiday would end well?!

This is a wind up ...... Please say you really didn't do this ...... To me and most people I would think a holiday is about getting away from it ALL. There's a clue there

Ummmmm, riiiight

I don't believe this is true for one minute. Nobody can be that thick or selfish.

If this is real... Bad idea op, apologise

Crashing a family holiday is the act of an insane person. I'd be quite glad you were never going to speak to me again. Did you just turn up at breakfast?

Omg this is the sort of thing that my family would do given half the chance.

Sorry op but u are clearly out of line here. I would be livid if a member of my family rocked up to the same resort whilst we were on holiday. YADBVU.

Going to have to try a bit harder to get in the Daily Mail, OP.

Reverse?

Or just plain bollocks? Nice touch with the bin man bit

It is crashing a holiday. You would not be in that destination/resort if BIL and family weren't there.

You have spoiled their holiday....as a pp said they'll be wondering if you're going to turn up/bump into you/etc/etc. That would make me tense and pissed off.

I'm sure if BIL was on this thread he would support your idea to never talk to him again.....or indeed come within 100ft of him.

Is your mum really on board with this too?

I feel so sorry for the poor bloke.

If you wanted to surprise DN for HER birthday, then why wouldn't you speak to her parents about it?!?!

My ILs think I'm snotty... I'm not at all, I just don't like people coming round unannounced, going through my cupboards and helping themselves to whatever looks good, without asking if there is a reason that I have unopened packets of naice biscuits and normal biscuits in the biscuit barrel (which they ignore!)

I'd be seething. I'd spend the rest of the holiday stressed and miserable. I'm fond of my ILs too!

It was bad enough when we got home from the airport after our honeymoon to find our house overrun with the ILs, their DD and her 3 boisterous DC, uninvited, when all we wanted to do was unpack and recharge. Waaaaaay out of line, OP. I'd be apologising profusely and going home.