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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to never want to speak to BIL again

194 replies

Awkwardas · 12/07/2016 06:19

Sisters been married to him for 20 years we've known him For 26 yrs. He's always been a bit funny sometimes fine other times not so, I think he looks down his nose at us. No reason, he's a plumber his dad a dustbin man. Anyway him sis & family booked a holiday so me & my mum decided to surprise them for the last week as its my nieces birthday. We turn up in the second week & bil is clearly.pissed off! We felt very awkward but luckily were in different hotels. We went to see them on our second say & bil completely ignored us, we've known him 26 years & he just blanks us! I now appreciate he wanted family time & we shouldn't have come but I'm utterly pissed off that he thinks its acceptable to ignore us. Would I be wrong to never speak to him again?

OP posts:
NoahVale · 12/07/2016 06:52

why on earth would you crash someone's holiday?

bil did that to us,
i didnt however ignore him.

surely you know what he is like? how would you think he would appreciate your company

KoalaDownUnder · 12/07/2016 06:53

Why the heck did you think this was a good idea?!

Becky546 · 12/07/2016 06:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BastardGoDarkly · 12/07/2016 07:00

People scrimp all year to get a holiday, then you turn up, who he doesn't like, and 'surprise' him?! Just..... wtf?!

DartmoorDoughnut · 12/07/2016 07:04

Place marking for the reverse reveal.

On the off chance it isn't a reverse your BIL is being very restrained!

branofthemist · 12/07/2016 07:06

It's got to be a reverse.

I would love to know what the ops sister thought.

I don't think he needs a grip. He was probably so angry he didn't want to speak in case he flipped his kid.

branofthemist · 12/07/2016 07:07

lid

Flipping his kid would be a huge over reaction Grin

newmumwithquestions · 12/07/2016 07:07

I'd be livid if any of my family gate crashed my holiday, even those that I'd happily go on holiday with.

ShebaShimmyShake · 12/07/2016 07:08

Not to mention the sneering at his background and job (wish I earned as much as a plumber and had such vital skills). This can't be real.

MadHattersWineParty · 12/07/2016 07:09

Didn't happen.

Hypothetically though in this situation I wouldn't bloody be speaking to you either.

Cosmo111 · 12/07/2016 07:10

I would be annoyed if we had saved up and planned a family holiday just our own little family for it to be gate crashed by extended family members. They may felt obliged to continue their rest of their holiday with you but I think your BIL is making it clear he has no intentions of doing that. You are clearly in the wrong here OP.

GreatFuckability · 12/07/2016 07:10

GrinGrin

I'm laughing at the look that would be on my face if my MIL rocked up uninvited to my holiday.

Grin
MsVestibule · 12/07/2016 07:11

I think he looks down his nose at us. No reason, he's a plumber his dad a dustbin man.

On the off chance that this thread is for real, do you seriously think that's an OK thing to think, let alone write??? So as their professions are clearly extremely lowly, they couldn't possibly think that other people are beneath them?

Perhaps he thinks you're beneath him because his wife's family have no boundaries and have been a thorn in his side for 26 years?

FetchezLaVache · 12/07/2016 07:11

Another one calling reverse.

ethelb · 12/07/2016 07:14

Hmm, I think this may not be a reverse. The rage about being 'ignored' is very telling and pretty typical of arseholes. Particularly codependent ones if you want to get academic about this.

OP, I often 'ignore' my PILs when I am trying very hard not to react to their latest escapade and instead bite my lip so I don't tell them to 'fuck off to the far side of fuck off and when you have fucked off please fuck off some more'.

They, also being dysfunctional arseholes, just like you, then have to make themselves the victim in the situation, as though being ignored is the worstest thing in the whole wide world.

Actually, having psycho selfish ILs is, so maybe take the hint OP?

Ememem84 · 12/07/2016 07:15

But this didn't happen exactly this way did it op?

Lunar1 · 12/07/2016 07:18

Maybe ignoring you was the politest thing he could manage. Maybe if he'd spoken it would have been worse.

TobleroneBoo · 12/07/2016 07:18

All together now...

"Bils old man is a dustman
He wears a dustmans hat...."

Ihatechoosingnames · 12/07/2016 07:20

Hmm yeah this really happened...

WellErrr · 12/07/2016 07:21

I wouldn't be speaking to you either.

Original poster
Awkwardas · 12/07/2016 07:22

Its not that he doesn't like us he's a snotty bastard & has always looked down on us. We didn't crash his holiday we're in a different hotel & haven't seen them. In hindsight it was a very bad idea! Hindsight's a wonderful thing. He is right to completely ignore us too. Anyway we're having a nice time 😊

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 12/07/2016 07:23

How can people who are so thick and non self aware use a computer?

WellErrr · 12/07/2016 07:30

Well you HAVE crashed his holiday.

zzzzz · 12/07/2016 07:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GnomeDePlume · 12/07/2016 07:31

we're in a different hotel & haven't seen them

They are avoiding you.

You have quite possibly spoilt their holiday a bit. Every time they turn a corner they will be half expecting to see you there.