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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to never want to speak to BIL again

194 replies

Awkwardas · 12/07/2016 06:19

Sisters been married to him for 20 years we've known him For 26 yrs. He's always been a bit funny sometimes fine other times not so, I think he looks down his nose at us. No reason, he's a plumber his dad a dustbin man. Anyway him sis & family booked a holiday so me & my mum decided to surprise them for the last week as its my nieces birthday. We turn up in the second week & bil is clearly.pissed off! We felt very awkward but luckily were in different hotels. We went to see them on our second say & bil completely ignored us, we've known him 26 years & he just blanks us! I now appreciate he wanted family time & we shouldn't have come but I'm utterly pissed off that he thinks its acceptable to ignore us. Would I be wrong to never speak to him again?

OP posts:
Dairybanrion · 12/07/2016 08:00
Biscuit
P1nkP0ppy · 12/07/2016 08:04

Crass.
What did you expect? To be welcomed with open arms?

You've wrecked their holiday, selfish cow.

Original poster
Awkwardas · 12/07/2016 08:04

All right I feel really bad now. I mean really bad! I admit we're idiots! But we did it with the best of intentions.

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 12/07/2016 08:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SisterMoonshine · 12/07/2016 08:05

Poor bloke.

NoahVale · 12/07/2016 08:07

oh its op and her mum

your mum sounds like she is over stepping the boundaries

roundaboutthetown · 12/07/2016 08:11

You really did an unbelievably stupid thing to stalk him on holiday. If he can eventually forgive you, I think you should forgive him! Grin

IsItGinTimeYet · 12/07/2016 08:11

I thought this had to be a reverse until you posted again. I would be beyond pee'd off tbh.

fastdaytears · 12/07/2016 08:14

But we did it with the best of intentions.

Hmm really?

What even were those intentions?

I don't think you've answered whether your sister knew about this massively invasive craziness of a plan

Cagliostro · 12/07/2016 08:15
Confused
branofthemist · 12/07/2016 08:15

But we did it with the best of intentions.

No way you genuinely thought that gate crashing someone's family holiday, when one of them doesn't like you was a good idea.

I don't believe you thought he would be happy about it for a minute.

NoahVale · 12/07/2016 08:16

is your sister happy to see you? and your niece?

Gazelda · 12/07/2016 08:16

OP, I'm struggling to think what 'the best of intentions' were? To surprise them with the joy of your company? To bulldoze into your DN's birthday celebrations? To give your DSis the pleasure of having all those she loves around her? I just don't get your motivation Confused

I wouldn't be holding my breath for an invite for Christmas if I were you.

OnesieTheQueensSelfie · 12/07/2016 08:17

Agree with a poster upthread, try harder next time Biscuit

hummusigotthehummus · 12/07/2016 08:18

Oh god I feel so sorry for your sis and her family.

Cguk81 · 12/07/2016 08:18

Sorry but I would be raging too. Family time is so rare and precious I would be mad if anyone tried to gatecrash it.

ethelb · 12/07/2016 08:19

But we did it with the best of intentions.

No you didn't OP.

To all the posters with the Biscuit, lucky you to have such a positive experience of families.

TrickyD · 12/07/2016 08:21

Force yourself to speak to him again be giving him a massive apology.

MrsJoeyMaynard · 12/07/2016 08:22

I would hate it if my in-laws did this. Or if any of my family did this. Whatever your intentions, it wouldn't be a nice surprise. You owe your sister and BIL an apology for crashing their holiday.

ohtheholidays · 12/07/2016 08:22

This has to be a reverse or a joke!

No one can be that clueless surely?!

Mcchickenbb41 · 12/07/2016 08:22

Ethelb think the cookie is an insult

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings · 12/07/2016 08:23

I can't believe this is a real post purely because I don't think anyone dense enough to actually think this was a good idea would have the intelligence to use the Internet...

LazyJournalistsQuoteMN · 12/07/2016 08:24

GrinBrewCakeGrin
YAB Sooooooo U
I can't believe anyone would think it was alright to gatecrash someone else's family holiday and be posed off that the family were annoyed and one member ignored you Hmm

DeathStare · 12/07/2016 08:25

But we did it with the best of intentions.

No. You did it with the best of intentions for yourselves not the best of intentions for them.

Don't worry. I'm sure this can be easily resolved; apologise profusely (by text, leave them alone!), go home so they can enjoy the rest of their holiday and pay for a new holiday for them to replace the one you "unintentionally" ruined

ImperialBlether · 12/07/2016 08:25

Another one here who wouldn't be happy at my MIL and SIL turning up on my holiday.