DD is starting school in September, but isn't toilet trained.

[BarkingMad12]

Hi. Not sure what to do. DD isn't toilet trained yet, we haven't rushed it at all and did wait until she showed signs, but she never did so we have slowly started trying more and more but it isn't going great. I'm worried as she's closer and closer to going to school.

Do I tell them? If so, when? Also, is she allowed to go? Even though she isn't trained? Advice would be great

so every socially disadvantaged child or those without rich educational background has AN?

what is " social disadvantage" is it being ferried around in a people carrier to various hot housing events or is it playing out in the back alley till dark?

One person's disadvantage is anothers idea of an ideal environment.

I do get it.....but who decides what is an advantaged or disadvantaged background?

Since every single person is different and learns differently everybody must need help then?

Everyone does need help to learn stuff, some need a bit more help than others (for all sorts of reasons).

Haven't read all the replies but your post really caught my attention as my son was the same last year and I know how much I worried about it.

Our son's issue was a sort of phobia of any loo that wasn't ours or our parents. It lead to us having to reduce preschool time as he was getting distressed (they were brilliant but it was just too much for him) and I didn't know what to do. We told the teacher straight away and they were great too at suggesting he tried every now and then but in the end, by the end of week one he was trained! He just decided to do it himself after 2 years of us trying.

I know this won't necessarily happen in your case but I also know how worried I was and how I would never have believed it would have been that simple in the end, people said it but I thought he was different as it was a fear rather than an inability as such. There is still a child in his class who has accidents now at the end of the school year so please don't think your child is massively behind. Obviously just pack spare clothing which I'm sure you would anyway so it doesn't have to be embarrassing and if it is that she forgets to try or doesn't realise you could get her a little watch with an alarm to go off to remind her. Ask school when a good time for her to go would be so you can set it for her. She'll get there though, they all have their little issues about something or other xx

I agree hazey my feeling is that a child who is not nurtured has SN.

So what is nurtured? Because my nurtured might not be your nurtured.