DD is starting school in September, but isn't toilet trained.

[BarkingMad12]

Hi. Not sure what to do. DD isn't toilet trained yet, we haven't rushed it at all and did wait until she showed signs, but she never did so we have slowly started trying more and more but it isn't going great. I'm worried as she's closer and closer to going to school.

Do I tell them? If so, when? Also, is she allowed to go? Even though she isn't trained? Advice would be great

isn't that becuase it's generally taught first?

Why should that be the reason? It's not as if you can only teach one thing at a time so have to choose one first.

Why should that be the reason?

The obviousness of it?

When do most people teach their kids the basic or reading
when do most people teach their kids the basics of toielt training

You work out which is normally first?

Jasonandyawegunorts Do you seriously think that the reason most two/three year olds can't read is just because their parents haven't tried to teach them?

Do you have proof other wise?

Basically marynary has a list of development as it is supposed to be done and anything else is NOT NORMAL shock grin and so it must be totally unreasonable to expect those children to be catered for.

No I don't have "a list" of development at all. I just know what is normal for most able bodied children. If most children were capable of reading at the age of two or three then most parents would teach them. They aren't all unable to read just because parents haven't bothered to try.
I didn't say anything about whether it is unreasonable for children with special needs to be catered for. That is a separate issue.

Well my NT daughter could read and write before she toilet-trained so go figure

She was always a little slower than her peers physically. Not so much as to be any sort of diagnosible delay, but just slower. She didn't walk until she was 2, couldn't run for a while after that etc etc.

She started the kindergarten of a private school aged 2 years 11 months. In pull-ups. When I discussed it with them I was told "not to worry, they all develop at different rates, it isn't an issue". She finally trained herself at 3 years and 8 months. But before then? I tried everything and she simply wasn't ready. It is no good saying what children SHOULD be able to do, some simply can't.

Do you have proof other wise?

I have common sense. If most two or three years old were capable of reading then many would be able to read. It is highly unlikely that most can't just because their parents haven't bothered to teach them.

Have you ever had a child of that age and taught them to read?

If most two or three years old were capable of reading then many would be able to read. It is highly unlikely that most can't just because their parents haven't bothered to teach them.

Prove it.
How would you know they can't read...

I've seen 3 year olds read very basic things.

If most two or three years old were capable of reading then many would be able to read

But nobody is teaching them, how would they learn?

It's not rocket science Mary you can go and see 3 year olds reading on youtube.
They are reading because they've been taught to.

ahhh well, that's basically what the point isn't it mary? Your normal is not my normal.

By "normal" I mean what normally happens. I can't walk that far but that doesn't mean I think it is "normal" not to be able to walk far at my age.

Luckily schools don't cater to "shoulds" but more to the needs of the child.

Again, I don't think I have commented on what schools should or shouldn't do.

It's not rocket science Mary you can go and see 3 year olds reading on youtube.

Do you not think they are on you tube because it is unusual to read at the age of three.

I too think children can be taught to read early. Shit my two year old (and the least academic) could read the Golden Arches from five miles away.

A 2 year old couldnt use a spoon if no one had ever taught them how.

Do you not think they are on you tube because it is unusual to read at the age of three.

YES! Because it's not the age that it's taught.

It is more advanced because the vast majority of children who don't have disabilities can be toilet trained before they can read.

Potty training is normally taught first, that's why it's learnt first

No you are wrong 3 year olds can't be taught to read

Yes they can if they are taught...

Now WHY you'd want to teach a child to read a 3 is another question.

My 11 year old can nibble a biscuit into the shape of any country in Europe.
Not so great at independent toileting though

resists EU comment

September is still quite a long way off by the standards of the speeds that kids of that age develop at. Need to keep plugging away and hope for the best. The school will have to take her anyway if it comes to that, which it hopefully won't.