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AIBU?

Baby nephew announced on Facebook

164 replies

Peach16 · 07/07/2016 10:40

Hi all, we have just found out my sister and BIL have had their baby, they told both sets of parents but not siblings, baby had only been born an hour and one of BILs colleagues has posted a message congratulating them, we've seen the Facebook post before we got the message from my mum telling us the baby had been born, AIBU for being upset? I haven't told my sister I've seen the post as don't want to spoil their special moment but I'm still hurt that this has happened, I know it's the colleagues fault for announcing but am annoyed with BIL for telling a colleague before making sure all family know! WWYD? X

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LaurieLemons · 07/07/2016 11:03

They probably assumed your parents would tell the rest of the family, I wouldn't worry about it.

noramum · 07/07/2016 11:04

Your BIL must have told work that he won't be able to come in. So, yes, sometimes colleagues know before family. DH did this when I went into labour. At that point I couldn't have cared less who knew first.

I also can't see a problem announcing it whereever and from whom. In the end the result = happy, healthy baby is important, isn't it?

Peach16 · 07/07/2016 11:04

We've got a big family so parents were doing the rounds, it was literally an hour!
Thank you!

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ArcheryAnnie · 07/07/2016 11:07

There isn't a pecking order! It's fine! If you are miffed with anyone it should be your own parents for not carrying on the ring-round.

It really doesn't matter who was told first, or the mechanism by which it happened. There's a new baby - that's the thing.

3littlefrogs · 07/07/2016 11:09

I have a relative who posts every single thing on face book.
It has reached the stage where we don't share news with her , or anyone who might tell her.
We have gone through serious illness, various crises, including bereavements, without any family support, because this one individual puts everything out there with no thought for privacy.

MrsJayy · 07/07/2016 11:09

Tbf I think the OP is just pissed off with the Facebook post not the not knowing

MrsJayy · 07/07/2016 11:11

That's the thing isn't it Facebook takes away privacy some people don't think anymore

Elledouble · 07/07/2016 11:11

YANBU. It's a shame for the parents not to be able to announce their own news. Someone did that to my cousin when she had one of hers, she'd specifically asked people not to put anything on Facebook until everyone knew, she was quite disappointed.

jaykay34 · 07/07/2016 11:11

I think you are being a bit unreasonable ! I can understand why you are hurt, but that's just Facebook for you.

Firstly, your BIL had no control over colleague posting the message. Also you don't know the circumstances of how the colleague knew before you.

When I had my youngest, one of my colleagues text me when I was in labour asking if I'd had him yet and I text back to say I was at the hospital. I then included her in a standard group text that I sent out to everyone when he arrived. So theoretically, my family, friends and colleague were all informed at the same time.

Speaking of the perils of Facebook though - I never announced my pregnancy on facebook and managed to keep it off for whole 9 months. Then the day I gave birth, a relation (who doesn't even live in this country) sent me a "Congratulations on the new baby" message on facebook. I then got about 100 inbox messages and texts from old school friends, ex colleagues and people I hadn't seen for 10 years asking "what baby?" and "wow, you kept that quiet!" . So my distant relation basically announced it for me !

MargotLovedTom · 07/07/2016 11:13

I can see your point OP, but I don't like FB anyway so am biased. Enjoy meeting your nephew.

Peach16 · 07/07/2016 11:14

you are right it's not really BILs fault so I shouldn't be annoyed with him, it probably never crossed his mind, and I don't mind him telling his friends/colleagues so it's not that that bothered me. I don't think my sister would be pleased with the colleague either she's not a fan of FB herself, but like you say she's got other things to think about and so I'm not going to mention it.

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ExtraHotLatteToGo · 07/07/2016 11:19

I can understand why you're upset. The colleague was totally unreasonable to do that, it's not his news to share & it's a bit crap some random knows you're an Aunty before you do.

I hate FB with a passion.

Ifiwasabadger · 07/07/2016 11:20

YABVU and precious about this. Do you have children?

You have no idea what her labour and delivery was like.

I can assure you tha the last thing on our minds after I'd given birth was an excel spreadsheet of "who to tell and in what order". Ridiculous.

MrsBertBibby · 07/07/2016 11:22

I have no recollection of how I learned that my of my 6 nieces and nephews had arrived, and I certainly didn't tell either of my sisters about mine. I assume the news filtered out. Really, you're making things up to get exercised over.

trafalgargal · 07/07/2016 11:23

If there's a lot of siblings then it's inevitable that it's going to take time.
It's the nature of the beast with FB though and it's up to the parents who they tell (or ask people to tell for them)
The workmate probably assumed that if they knew then all the key people had been informed first as colleagues aren't usually top of the list. Would they even have known that there were loads of siblings ?

Unicorntrainer · 07/07/2016 11:24

Congratulations. I can understand why you feel hurt, but as long as they are both well I would just enjoy your new status as an auntie, and hope you get to visit them soon 💐

Snowflakes1122 · 07/07/2016 11:25

You are not being unreasonable, but maybe they were rushing to get it out in Facebook before someone else decided to announce it on there before them. This happened to a friend. She told someone and they got in there and stole their chance to announce it on there.

CheerfullyIndifferent · 07/07/2016 11:25

I think YANBU to be upset about the way you found out, but a little bit that other people knew before you, iyswim. I wouldn't do anything about it personally, just enjoy the moment.

I found out my granddad had died on FB, the joy of teenage cousins!

ineedwine99 · 07/07/2016 11:26

I can see why your upset. We will be sending a photo to family and close friends once baby has arrived all ok, but in that same text will be asking them not to share the photo or to say anything on FB until we've done so.
As the parents i'd be annoyed at that colleague for posting before they did

Snowflakes1122 · 07/07/2016 11:27

Ah sorry misread it-looks like some people already got in there and announced it on there for them. That's awful!

thepurpleline · 07/07/2016 11:30

I am a midwife. Some years ago I was at a home birth. No sooner had the baby been born the father posted the news on Facebook without her knowing. The mum (quite rightly) went tonto. Then his mother in law started on him.

LovelyBranches · 07/07/2016 11:31

When I gave birth, first phone calls were to firstly to my dm and secondly to PIL. They then had the job of telling respective families in whatever order they chose.

The next phone call was to my work. They aren't idiots who inappropriately post on facebook, but I could well imagine a scenario where someone from work could know before your parents have had the chance to speak to you.

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Peach16 · 07/07/2016 11:38

Yep mum and baby are doing great, I've seen a picture now and he's gorgeous! MrsJayy is right it's not the order of who found out first that I was bothered about, it's that I don't think it was the colleagues news to share especially not within an hour of the birth! I just think maybe not everyone thinks about things like that.

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Peach16 · 07/07/2016 11:41

CheerfullyIndifferent that's awful!!

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woodenmouse · 07/07/2016 11:44

YANBU this makes me so angry. We were so excited to anounce ds2s name to everyone after he was born but one of my aunt's posted welcome to the world baby (name) before we could.
People should really think before they post.
congratulations op

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