Baby nephew announced on Facebook

[Peach16]

Hi all, we have just found out my sister and BIL have had their baby, they told both sets of parents but not siblings, baby had only been born an hour and one of BILs colleagues has posted a message congratulating them, we've seen the Facebook post before we got the message from my mum telling us the baby had been born, AIBU for being upset? I haven't told my sister I've seen the post as don't want to spoil their special moment but I'm still hurt that this has happened, I know it's the colleagues fault for announcing but am annoyed with BIL for telling a colleague before making sure all family know! WWYD? X

[lljkk]

Bits in raggedy condition trying to master breastfeeding & fend off sleep deprivation, but drop all that and make sure to inform the relatives of the news in a precise pecking order (which is bound to offend somebody anyway).

Daft.

[Quodlibet]

The FB etiquette extends to ANY news that someone hasn't shared themselves. You don't announce other peoples' pregnancies, new jobs, house moves, illnesses, exam results etc unless they have themselves done so because there are many many reasons why they might not want to share that information yet with everybody in their own network and also yours.

People seem to forget that FB is not a private conversation.

[runonthespot]

When my wife's dad died unexpectedly, people immediately started posting condolences on his wall- before other family members had been told. Facebook is indeed terrible for this sort of thing, or at least... Many of us are terrible and realising the implications or worse, try to be first to get those sorts of messages up to get the attention earlier. Can't be undone though so no point being upset about it. When I see that sort of thing happen, it just strengthens my own resolve to try not to do the same thing to someone else.

[lljkk]

The simple solution is not to have one's own FB account. Then you can't hear the news in this unacceptable channel. Very sorted.

[LittleCircus]

AIBU to ask hubby to help out with bedtimes? We have 3 kids, a 5 year old, 4 year old and 3 month old baby. Hubby works (has his own business and does 60+ hours a week) I do all the childcare but am really struggling putting all three to bed. They always clash and baby ends up crying and eventually I end up in tears as its all a bit much. I don't ask for anything else from hubby and certainly never get a lie-in or any 'me time' but I really need help with this. AIBU asking he help out with 3 or 4 bedtimes a week? How much help do you get?

[Helloitsme88]

Errrrr it's really not about you. So don't even mention it.

[Mclaren37]

I can see why you're upset, BUT you definitely should not bring it up with them. The same thing happened to us, but we were the parents of the newborn... My mum texted a photo of our 30 min old son to my brother, all good. A colleague of mine happened to text my brother (who she know through me socially) soon after, asking if there was any news and when he told her she said ooh do you have a pic? He sent it to her and she emailed it ALL around my work place announcing the good news AND posted it on Facebook. This was a photo of my darling boy still half covered on blood and with all the hospital gear still attached. We were still in the recovery room and when it popped up on my husbands phone I was so stressed out and upset. Still bleeding/exhausted/emotional!
My husband's brother hadn't heard the news and saw it on Facebook. They were extremely good about it - which I've always appreciated as we had so much going on at that moment, their anger on top of everything would have been unbearable.
Some people use Facebook irresponsibly. I think you should assume they did not mean to hurt you and that in the larger scheme of a new family member being born (yay!) this is not really important. Xxx

[MrsJoeyMaynard]

LittleCircus you'll get more replies to your AIBU if you start your own thread.

[pinkladyapple]

Lots of people seem to have not read the OP. It wasnt the babies parents who posted it it was a colleague of the father.

I'm not far from my due date and I would find it upsetting if someone else posted on Facebook. It's not the fact that they do it, it's more the reason why - are they after collecting likes and attention? They must be aware nothing has been posted by myself yet.

The way I see it is would you be annoyed if someone else told your mum before you did? If the answer is yes, then you must be able to see why it would upset someone.

YANBU.

[LilySnape]

AIBU in thinking there are alot more huns and people posting random X's at the end of their post's lately ? random people on the internet do not want your kisses OP

[Bogeyface]

I noticed that too lily

Its a Hun invasion!

[EyeRollChampion]

God I hate Facebook. It should be banned, along with all the attention-seekers who utilise it to great effect.

Congrats on becoming an auntie! ☺

[gasbird]

My sister announced my first born on my FB wall whilst I was in the post natal ward!

[MrsH987]

I would be furious if someone dared share my personal news before i chose to. You should never post anything on social media without the permission of the person who is the subject. Its not theirs to share.