Baby nephew announced on Facebook

[Peach16]

Hi all, we have just found out my sister and BIL have had their baby, they told both sets of parents but not siblings, baby had only been born an hour and one of BILs colleagues has posted a message congratulating them, we've seen the Facebook post before we got the message from my mum telling us the baby had been born, AIBU for being upset? I haven't told my sister I've seen the post as don't want to spoil their special moment but I'm still hurt that this has happened, I know it's the colleagues fault for announcing but am annoyed with BIL for telling a colleague before making sure all family know! WWYD? X

[Lillithxxx]

Facebook is the devil's canvass. It lends itself so easily to upsetting every man and his dog. Why doesn't everyone steer clear?

[Member191443]

Why the fuss? Social media is called life now

[SarfEast1cated]

I sympathise OP it's a special moment and it'd been slightly tainted by some random bloke. Get your disappointment off your chest here and say no more about it when you see your nephew - congratulations on being an Aunty!

[crje]

YABU

Cop on

That is all

[WellIGuessThisIsGrowingUp]

Yanbu!! My brother did this to me... I found out baby was here from seeing posts on his fb wall from friends congratulating him. My mum didn't let me know because she presumed he would want to tell me himself. I was really upset but didn't say anything because my brother has absolutely no common sense and would never do anything to intentionally upset anyone. He's just inconsiderate!

[Amy0039]

My MIL requested that we didn't announce the birth of our first baby until she'd met him (which I thought was fair enough), we waited, then when I went online to announce it later in the day EVERYONE (including my friends) knew because one of her neighbours had posted about it, then loads of other people posted congratulations on our wall. I was heartbroken. I'm filling up writing about it now, and he's 17 weeks. I know it doesn't really matter in the big scheme of things, but I feel I was robbed of sharing the most joyous news with my nearest and dearest. I don't think I'll ever not be upset by it.

If we're lucky enough to be blessed with any more children I'll be taking my Facebook offline for a while to stop it happening again.

[JesstheCat82]

Someone announced my little one on FB before I had the chance to (knackered after labour, broken phone etc.) and I wasn't happy about it. As people have said FB is crappy for that. Try not to read too much into it - maybe the mate happened to call at that time and they were hardly going to say nothing if that were the case. It's the mate who put it on FB

[simplydivine05]

The Sun are also short on story ideas of late
www.thesun.co.uk/living/1407748/woman-is-upset-after-sister-fails-to-tell-her-shes-given-birth-but-mumsnet-users-tell-her-to-get-a-grip/

[MiddleClassProblem]

Only read op so sorry if anything I'm say is null by later posts from op.

I can understand that you feel a bit upset but what they have gone through is such a big thing physically and emotionally, they let parents know and assumed you would be notified straight away. The colleague may have found out early as he let work know what was going on and why he couldn't come in. They didn't post it either so you can't be mad at them.

[99percentchocolate]

This happened to me too - a family member announced the arrival, name, and weight of my eldest child, despite being specifically told not to.
For my second I locked down my Facebook profile a month before my due date and changed my profile picture to a message stating that I wanted to announce it first.
I don't think I'll ever forgive family member - they'd only done it for the attention.

[MrsLoisLane]

Story very similar to this in daily mail! Copied from mumsnet again

[Callaird]

I'd be absolutely heartbroken if I found out on Facebook! I totally understand your upset. But I agree with others that you need to let it go for now.

My first niece/nephew is due in November, my brother is doing everything right!! Scan pictures to prospective grandparents first and then messaged to me and SIL's sister, then later on Facebook.

I'll be at the hospital when she goes into labour (time already booked off work) so will know as soon as but I would never call/text/Facebook the news unless specifically asked.

[Quodlibet]

Surely FB etiquette is that you don't share info about someone on there that they haven't yet shared about themselves? It's not a hard concept to grasp. So yep, colleague is out of order.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

Colleague was wrong to say anything

It's etiquette not to say anything on FB till the new parents do

[jude1960]

I think its terrible to tell all and sundry on stupid Facebook before telling family members. Its about etiquette. I just do not understand people who are more concerned about getting congrats and likes on FB and not telling her own sister. I don't blame her for being devastated. I mean friends of friends new before her. so very sad.

[MHnurse16]

I would say unreasonable, but defo agree with some on here that it's not about you. It's about them and their newborn. I personally don't plan on calling the world and its wife when I have my baby... However I do know that my family have this weird thing where each member wants to be told first (mainly sisters and Mum) too so I would probably get the same type of backlash and tbh it isn't nice to have someone make the good news all about themselves just because you didn't tel them first.

[LynetteScavo]

It's a rude thing for the colleague to do, and I would point out to him how tactless he's been.

However, this is what FB is good for..getting need out fast. I actually hand wrote birth announcement cards when I had my DC (yes, the day they were born ) bet nobody does that now!

[twopenneth]

YANBU. people who announce other people's news for them do it for their own gain, 'look at me, I knew first!'

Suppose that's what FB is for anyway as most things should be a private message but everyone chooses to post on walls.

[jude1960]

too busy to tell your own sister?? wow. its the dads responsibility to ring around after the baby is born. thats his part in this. you ring all family, and closest friends. It is VERY impersonal to put it on FB. Every man and his dog then knows and in this case,,,before the rest of the family. People who use fb for this sort of thing are usually the type that over share EVERYTHING. FB is awful to give the greatest of news

[IFinishedTheBiscuits]

people who announce other people's news for them do it for their own gain, 'look at me, I knew first'!

My sister announced on FB that my son, her nephew had been born. But seeing as she'd delivered him at 2am when neither ambulance or midwife could get there in time (and no, she's not medically trained) I thought fair enough, it probably was her news. She definitely knew first!

[mummylove2monsters]

YANBU it wasn't the workmates news to post !! I had an incident recently where I was in intensive care and someone knew ( purley throughout circumstances) put it on my fb page before my partner had got hold of my brother !! ( we are talking hrs as my brother had worked late and his phone was off ) ! So cross xxxx

[SueTrinder]

Surely FB etiquette is that you don't share info about someone on there that they haven't yet shared about themselves? It's not a hard concept to grasp. So yep, colleague is out of order.

I agree, DSis announced DS on FB before DH had a chance to. At least all our immediate family knew. The annoying thing is we'd made sure my family knew before DH told MIL because his Mum had form for this but I thought my sister would be more considerate.

[lljkk]

YABVU. I would be happy for my relative and not give two hoots how the news got to me.

[Delta1411]

I had a SIL who caused serious problems when I had my first and second child complaining she hadnt been informed. It's a long story but first time she booked a holiday and went away for two weeks to miss my baby being born as she was having infertility issues. Told her mam off that she hadn't been able to see a picture she had sent as she was in a remote location?!

When I had my son via planned section she threw a strop because she hadn't received a picture. I still hate the fact she dared say anything....it wasn't my fault i had just had a baby!!!

Unfortunately I think you're being totally unreasonable. It's not your moment and they'll be happy to share their news. I hope you aren't as awful as my sister in law was to me as it really upset me!!

[simiisme]

YANBU All the people saying that it's up to the parents what they do, yes. It's up to any human to do what they want to do. But I think that this shows that the new parents do not see their closest relatives as anything special. There is no closeness there.
We rang parents, then siblings. We love them and wanted them to be the first to know because they are the most important people in our lives, not out of any sense of duty or protocol.