Baby nephew announced on Facebook

[Peach16]

Hi all, we have just found out my sister and BIL have had their baby, they told both sets of parents but not siblings, baby had only been born an hour and one of BILs colleagues has posted a message congratulating them, we've seen the Facebook post before we got the message from my mum telling us the baby had been born, AIBU for being upset? I haven't told my sister I've seen the post as don't want to spoil their special moment but I'm still hurt that this has happened, I know it's the colleagues fault for announcing but am annoyed with BIL for telling a colleague before making sure all family know! WWYD? X

[CheerfullyIndifferent]

Peach16 it wasn't the most pleasant moment of my life

I think it's the blessing and the curse of social media: you have an instant outlet for your emotions and thoughts - joyful or otherwise - but sometimes we forget who is on the receiving end of those messages, which, if we think about it, is the whole world. It makes it very easy to hurt someone's feelings without even realising.

[whois]

It taints the moment for the family and new parents should think about protocol, but some don't

That is hilarious.

Anyway - protocol in my family would be 1) tell both sets of parents. 2) Parents tell any family that needs telling.

[BabyDubsEverywhere]

DH's family were pissed off with us for announcing our babies on FB rather than calling them all. We had other things to be doing and FB is the easiest way for us to contact everyone at once.

I also announced my niece on FB, my sis was still coming round from the section and hadn't even seen her yet but she wanted to announce the safe arrival asap (prem baby, crash section, every one on tenterhooks!) and told me before hand to tell people as soon as, so BIL sent me pic and details and I posted. I copped loads of flack for that until sis came around properly and put the record straight that it was her request!

[mishmash1979]

We called parents but announced need on Facebook to everyone else

[UptownFunk00]

YANBU - but the colleague is.

Surely rule of thumb is if you want to post something related to someone else you check that person has posted first.

So only post an I'm sorry for your loss post if said person posted about the loss. They might not want some FB friends to see it.

[Peach16]

BabyDubs I completely understand that but that was your choice and your sisters choice, and If that was the same scenario I wouldn't be upset but on this occasion and knowing my sister she is the one who would want to announce her news to the world and she will be upset to think that it has bothered family, not just me, (my brother rang me and said the same thing) she said they would let us all know ASAP through parents etc which is fine. I wasn't necessarily expecting a call direct from them, but it would have been nice to not find out from Facebook that's all. But it's happened and I won't be mentioning it upset me as don't want her to be upset on such a special occasion, plus I've seen how handsome he is and my heart has melted and I'm over it now!!

[CormoranStrike]

I never told my siblings when I had given birth - I told my parents and assumed they would share the news.

I would not judge them their happiness- seriously, does it actually matter how you find out thwhat very happy news?

[mandi73]

We text and sent a picture of DS to family when he was born last year. He was born at 10.20 am by 11.05 DH's brother had put the picture on Facebook, DH was not impressed, I always knew his brother was a tosser so no surprise to me

[SomeDaysIDontGiveAMonkeys]

When DS was born, DH text his mum first and before he'd managed to type a message to my mum, Mil had announced it for us on Facebook

Doesn't anyone calll anymore????!!!

[2nds]

My OH called my mum straightaway to tell her about the baby the first time around as he knew she would not have minded being woke up. He left telling his dad the news until a few hours later because he knew his dad wouldn't take too kindly to being woken up (he's quite old and it wasn't a problem). As a result my entire family heard the news most likely before his did.

Sometimes there's a simple explanation to these things.

[LordyMe]

Y are being massively U.

Is this your first nephew or niece? If so then you are being PFB (nephew/neice) about it, honestly, by the time you have a few more then you'll barely remember their names let alone be bothered by 'birth announcement etiquette'

Ps congrats anyway. I lurv newborns. 👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼

[123lekl]

Yabu.
If sis and bil don't want it on Fb then that's a bit different but who they choose to tell first is their business

[MrsJoeyMaynard]

YANBU to be a bit upset for finding out in that way, the colleague shouldn't have posted on FB about it as it wasn't the colleagues news to tell.

But I can imagine scenarios where BILs work find out about the baby before the new grandparents have had a chance to tell all the family the news - BIL rings work to explain why he won't be in, or colleague calls / texts BIL either about work or fishing for an update and BIL replies, etc....

I wouldn't mention that you're upset about this to your sister or BIL though, in case it spoils things for them, just focus on them and the baby for now.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Mmm baby cuddles, lucky you. Congrats Auntie OP!
Agree it's not anybody else's news to blurt out but that's the reality of FB so I'm told.

[trafalgargal]

I think the plan was
Tell parents delegate them the job of telling family
Tell key friends so they can tell everyone else.

I can't imagine a rider that says Delaying telling friends until sure sis and bro who take offence at everything know.

If any of my family had taken offence (and some of them have gold medals in doing so) I'd have simply told them that we wanted everyone to know the baby had arrived safely as soon as the grandparents were informed and what difference did it make to them if they weren't the first to put it on social media. I'd be quite annoyed at siblings trying to create drama over MY business.

[Arborea]

Our 'protocol' last time was a group text to all the relatives and close friends with the name, weight, time and confirmation all was fine. We rang our respective parents afterwards, then the next day put a photo on FB (it was late before we got off the delivery ward).

We plan to do exactly the same this time, although might post a photo on FB the same day if baby is born earlier.

[Pinkheart5915]

Yabu.

A new little healthy baby has been born, which is all that should matter.

Does how you found out really matter?

[00100001]

With things like this you have to think "Will this matter a month from now?"
if not, then it doesn't really matter now.

The deed is done. Nothing can be done to change it. No-one got hurt (not really) and it will all be forgotten about in a week or so and it won't make one jot of difference, except that you have learnt not to do this to someone else.

[Whathaveilost]

Why on earth does it matter who knows when?
I honestly don't get it.

If FB was around when my lads were born I probably would have used it as well.

[nonicknameseemsavailable]

presumably he had to tell work he wouldn't be in and would be on paternity leave for 2 weeks? I am surprised your parents didn't pass the news on to you straight away. I think my sister got told my hubby, my mum, one sister in law and my closest friend.

[nonicknameseemsavailable]

sorry should say BY my hubby

[dangerrabbit]

I don't think YABU at all, I think it was very thoughtless of the BIL to tell random colleagues first, but I don't know how you can realistically bring this up without pissing your DS off so I think you prob need to let it go.

[KittensandKnitting]

I don't expect he did tell a random colleague or set out to tell random colleague I expect it got filtered around or random colleague called BIL answered and said "I can't help you wife has just had a baby"

Easy to see how it could happen

It's the colleague who's the idiot here

[ayria]

I think I would be a bit offended if I found out from Facebook because I think I'd feel like my knowing wasn't important. I think it's only right to tell immediate family first, well I think that's normal in my family (my mum and sisters have been involved in one way or another with each birth so they all knew)

But sometimes friends find out first if the family aren't there if they maybe message them around the time and get told the news? You wouldn't not tell them if they rang or messaged, would you? Like a PP said there's no need to repeat yourself on Facebook if you've already congratulated them etc. Stupid. Also they don't know if they want it announced on Facebook.

I'm pregnant with my second but we're moving away so no one will know until I rang my mum and sisters first. Telling my partner's family isn't my priority, it'd be his.

[Normandy144]

YANBU. I've seen this twice recently. My cousin had a much longed for baby and another distant relative wrote on their Facebook congratulating them on their new arrival, giving the name as well. It should be up to the proud new parents to share that news, not anyone else.