Baby nephew announced on Facebook

[Peach16]

Hi all, we have just found out my sister and BIL have had their baby, they told both sets of parents but not siblings, baby had only been born an hour and one of BILs colleagues has posted a message congratulating them, we've seen the Facebook post before we got the message from my mum telling us the baby had been born, AIBU for being upset? I haven't told my sister I've seen the post as don't want to spoil their special moment but I'm still hurt that this has happened, I know it's the colleagues fault for announcing but am annoyed with BIL for telling a colleague before making sure all family know! WWYD? X

[MrsH987]

I would be furious if someone dared share my personal news before i chose to. You should never post anything on social media without the permission of the person who is the subject. Its not theirs to share.

[gasbird]

My sister announced my first born on my FB wall whilst I was in the post natal ward!

[EyeRollChampion]

God I hate Facebook. It should be banned, along with all the attention-seekers who utilise it to great effect.

Congrats on becoming an auntie! ☺

[Bogeyface]

I noticed that too lily

Its a Hun invasion!

[LilySnape]

AIBU in thinking there are alot more huns and people posting random X's at the end of their post's lately ? random people on the internet do not want your kisses OP

[pinkladyapple]

Lots of people seem to have not read the OP. It wasnt the babies parents who posted it it was a colleague of the father.

I'm not far from my due date and I would find it upsetting if someone else posted on Facebook. It's not the fact that they do it, it's more the reason why - are they after collecting likes and attention? They must be aware nothing has been posted by myself yet.

The way I see it is would you be annoyed if someone else told your mum before you did? If the answer is yes, then you must be able to see why it would upset someone.

YANBU.

[MrsJoeyMaynard]

LittleCircus you'll get more replies to your AIBU if you start your own thread.

[Mclaren37]

I can see why you're upset, BUT you definitely should not bring it up with them. The same thing happened to us, but we were the parents of the newborn... My mum texted a photo of our 30 min old son to my brother, all good. A colleague of mine happened to text my brother (who she know through me socially) soon after, asking if there was any news and when he told her she said ooh do you have a pic? He sent it to her and she emailed it ALL around my work place announcing the good news AND posted it on Facebook. This was a photo of my darling boy still half covered on blood and with all the hospital gear still attached. We were still in the recovery room and when it popped up on my husbands phone I was so stressed out and upset. Still bleeding/exhausted/emotional!
My husband's brother hadn't heard the news and saw it on Facebook. They were extremely good about it - which I've always appreciated as we had so much going on at that moment, their anger on top of everything would have been unbearable.
Some people use Facebook irresponsibly. I think you should assume they did not mean to hurt you and that in the larger scheme of a new family member being born (yay!) this is not really important. Xxx

[Helloitsme88]

Errrrr it's really not about you. So don't even mention it.

[LittleCircus]

AIBU to ask hubby to help out with bedtimes? We have 3 kids, a 5 year old, 4 year old and 3 month old baby. Hubby works (has his own business and does 60+ hours a week) I do all the childcare but am really struggling putting all three to bed. They always clash and baby ends up crying and eventually I end up in tears as its all a bit much. I don't ask for anything else from hubby and certainly never get a lie-in or any 'me time' but I really need help with this. AIBU asking he help out with 3 or 4 bedtimes a week? How much help do you get?

[lljkk]

The simple solution is not to have one's own FB account. Then you can't hear the news in this unacceptable channel. Very sorted.

[runonthespot]

When my wife's dad died unexpectedly, people immediately started posting condolences on his wall- before other family members had been told. Facebook is indeed terrible for this sort of thing, or at least... Many of us are terrible and realising the implications or worse, try to be first to get those sorts of messages up to get the attention earlier. Can't be undone though so no point being upset about it. When I see that sort of thing happen, it just strengthens my own resolve to try not to do the same thing to someone else.

[Quodlibet]

The FB etiquette extends to ANY news that someone hasn't shared themselves. You don't announce other peoples' pregnancies, new jobs, house moves, illnesses, exam results etc unless they have themselves done so because there are many many reasons why they might not want to share that information yet with everybody in their own network and also yours.

People seem to forget that FB is not a private conversation.

[lljkk]

Bits in raggedy condition trying to master breastfeeding & fend off sleep deprivation, but drop all that and make sure to inform the relatives of the news in a precise pecking order (which is bound to offend somebody anyway).

Daft.

[simiisme]

YANBU All the people saying that it's up to the parents what they do, yes. It's up to any human to do what they want to do. But I think that this shows that the new parents do not see their closest relatives as anything special. There is no closeness there.
We rang parents, then siblings. We love them and wanted them to be the first to know because they are the most important people in our lives, not out of any sense of duty or protocol.

[Delta1411]

I had a SIL who caused serious problems when I had my first and second child complaining she hadnt been informed. It's a long story but first time she booked a holiday and went away for two weeks to miss my baby being born as she was having infertility issues. Told her mam off that she hadn't been able to see a picture she had sent as she was in a remote location?!

When I had my son via planned section she threw a strop because she hadn't received a picture. I still hate the fact she dared say anything....it wasn't my fault i had just had a baby!!!

Unfortunately I think you're being totally unreasonable. It's not your moment and they'll be happy to share their news. I hope you aren't as awful as my sister in law was to me as it really upset me!!

[lljkk]

YABVU. I would be happy for my relative and not give two hoots how the news got to me.

[SueTrinder]

Surely FB etiquette is that you don't share info about someone on there that they haven't yet shared about themselves? It's not a hard concept to grasp. So yep, colleague is out of order.

I agree, DSis announced DS on FB before DH had a chance to. At least all our immediate family knew. The annoying thing is we'd made sure my family knew before DH told MIL because his Mum had form for this but I thought my sister would be more considerate.

[mummylove2monsters]

YANBU it wasn't the workmates news to post !! I had an incident recently where I was in intensive care and someone knew ( purley throughout circumstances) put it on my fb page before my partner had got hold of my brother !! ( we are talking hrs as my brother had worked late and his phone was off ) ! So cross xxxx

[IFinishedTheBiscuits]

people who announce other people's news for them do it for their own gain, 'look at me, I knew first'!

My sister announced on FB that my son, her nephew had been born. But seeing as she'd delivered him at 2am when neither ambulance or midwife could get there in time (and no, she's not medically trained) I thought fair enough, it probably was her news. She definitely knew first!

[jude1960]

too busy to tell your own sister?? wow. its the dads responsibility to ring around after the baby is born. thats his part in this. you ring all family, and closest friends. It is VERY impersonal to put it on FB. Every man and his dog then knows and in this case,,,before the rest of the family. People who use fb for this sort of thing are usually the type that over share EVERYTHING. FB is awful to give the greatest of news

[twopenneth]

YANBU. people who announce other people's news for them do it for their own gain, 'look at me, I knew first!'

Suppose that's what FB is for anyway as most things should be a private message but everyone chooses to post on walls.

[LynetteScavo]

It's a rude thing for the colleague to do, and I would point out to him how tactless he's been.

However, this is what FB is good for..getting need out fast. I actually hand wrote birth announcement cards when I had my DC (yes, the day they were born ) bet nobody does that now!

[MHnurse16]

I would say unreasonable, but defo agree with some on here that it's not about you. It's about them and their newborn. I personally don't plan on calling the world and its wife when I have my baby... However I do know that my family have this weird thing where each member wants to be told first (mainly sisters and Mum) too so I would probably get the same type of backlash and tbh it isn't nice to have someone make the good news all about themselves just because you didn't tel them first.

[jude1960]

I think its terrible to tell all and sundry on stupid Facebook before telling family members. Its about etiquette. I just do not understand people who are more concerned about getting congrats and likes on FB and not telling her own sister. I don't blame her for being devastated. I mean friends of friends new before her. so very sad.