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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think it's OK for a guy to be in the ladies if he's with his daughter?

359 replies

laurenwiltxx · 06/07/2016 22:34

I'm reading alot about the issue with trans and toilets recently and got me thinking about times my brother has had to take his daughter to the toilet and was taking her to the Men's (when disabled toilets weren't there or out of order ect) and I protested he take her into the women's as it wasn't appropriate considering men have there things out at the urinals and things, and seats are more likely to be peed on ect. So he began doing so and got alot of looks from women. Ive been thinking about it alot more and do understand its a really hard one. What would you say daddies in the ladies with daughters or should take them in the men's?

OP posts:
ADishBestEatenCold · 06/07/2016 22:50

It is more than high time that all toilets accessible by the general public were solid cubicles i.e. not constructed with flimsy room dividers (as many as could be fitted in to the available space), each cubicle of sufficient size to house (at least) a toilet, a sink, a fold down nappy changing unit, and a bin ... and all for the comfort of any sex/gender.

Individually, these would undoubtedly take up a little more space, and cost a little more to construct, than most cubicles currently available, but ... as we would not then require separate 'sets' for men and women ... the overall costs and space requirements should be no greater.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/07/2016 22:51

I'm sorry, but how can you not know this? Have you ever, ever, seen a man in the ladies loos? Answer is no.

If a girl is old enough to think anything of seeing a grown up willy in the urinals, she's only enough to go in to the ladies on her own.

ArmySal · 06/07/2016 22:52

Can't say I've ever witnessed a man take his daughter into the ladies toilets in my life, would find it seriously odd.

RJnomore1 · 06/07/2016 22:52

There's no such thing as a disabled toilet btw... It's an accessible toilet...

PinkyofPie · 06/07/2016 22:52

shark you don't have to believe a man is a creep to be uncomfortable with him being in the ladies toilet. It's about privacy and dignity, the worlds nicest bloke could be in the ladies and I'd hate every minute of it. I can't believe people would actually be ok with this

WorraLiberty · 06/07/2016 22:54

If I were male and I had my daughter with me, I'd ask a lady who was going into the restroom if she could please take my daughter in with her.

There is absolutely no way my son's step-daughter would go with a strange lady, into a public loo.

For one things she's very shy and for another, she sometimes needs help with wiping, just like many kids do.

ArmySal · 06/07/2016 22:55

No way would I be okay with DP sending my daughter in with a stranger, either...

HarryPottersMagicWand · 06/07/2016 22:55

I am gobsmacked that 2 posters here would get a perfect stranger to take their child to the toilet. I've never heard of a more dodgy situation! You don't know them! Being a woman doesn't automatically make them safe ffs! A real can of worms there. If a (stranger) man asked me to take his daughter to the toilet I'd say no.

beetroot2 · 06/07/2016 22:56

Oh dear. If I were a bloke and my daughter was small I'd ask another lady to take her into the toilets knowing I wasn't allowed. That to me is normal.

BertrandRussell · 06/07/2016 22:56

Why would an NT child over the age of about 5 need anyone to go in with them anyway?

Reindeerlily · 06/07/2016 22:56

Although I'd probably wonder what he was doing in the ladies, he wouldn't actually see anything would he? In men's toilets they do have their things out. Women don't have their bits out do they? I don't think I'd want my daughter to go into the men's smelly piss ridden toilets.

PinkyofPie · 06/07/2016 22:57

Me too Harry, would you lot REALLY send a 2 or 3yo in to have their bum wiped by a stranger? Would you let a man take your so in? My DD would be utterly terrified! Women are capable of horrible things too.

WorraLiberty · 06/07/2016 22:57

The 2 posters who have said you'd send your daughter in with a stranger.

I'm wondering if you're American and if so, is it common practice there?

I only ask because one of your used the word 'period' for full stop and the other used the word restroom instead of toilet.

Ignore me if you aren't Blush

WorraLiberty · 06/07/2016 22:58

I don't think I'd want my daughter to go into the men's smelly piss ridden toilets.

As opposed to the women's smelly piss ridden public toilets?

ouryve · 06/07/2016 22:59

A better bet is to teach a child how to respond if they feel threatened, with the reassurance that you'll be right outside the door.

My experience of loos is pretty polarised - they're either modern with adequate family loos, so not a problem with a young opposite sex child, or so old and knackered and revolting that even I wouldn't use them alone unless I was in danger of wetting myself. By default, I find out where the main supermarkets are, as they normally come up trumps if a place I'm visiting is somewhat compromised in the trustworthy loo department.

PinkyofPie · 06/07/2016 22:59

I don't think I'd want my daughter to go into the men's smelly piss ridden toilets.

And what do you think women excrete, unicorn tears?

I've taken DD into the ladies before and found period blood on the seat we ain't such a clean species methinks Grin

BertrandRussell · 06/07/2016 23:00

So you think there is the remotest chance that the one person you pick to ask to make sure your child can open the loo door and reach the taps is going to be a predatory opportunist paedophile? The person you carefully select- the woman with an older child, or the grandmotherly type?

WorraLiberty · 06/07/2016 23:02

Why would an NT child over the age of about 5 need anyone to go in with them anyway?

I think that might depend on the child and possibly the toilet (whether they were familiar with it).

The toilets at the side of the market place here for example, are quite dark and a bit scary, even to me as an adult. There are approximately 10 cubicles there and I keep imagining someone's going to jump out as I wash my hands Blush

The toilet at the local Burger King for example, has a ridiculously heavy door and an even heavier inner door and that's before you even get to the cubicle.

Tworingsandamicrowave · 06/07/2016 23:02

Pinky rather than flapping about wildly for all to see Grin. This would explain the state of our loo,at home sometimes!

ArmySal · 06/07/2016 23:03

You never know, Bertrand, that's the point. I'd rather not take the risk, and as a PP said, I wouldn't take a stranger's small child in myself.

PinkyofPie · 06/07/2016 23:04

It's not even necessarily about being a Peadophile but being someone who is comfortable and capable with children and their ablutions great word

2nds · 06/07/2016 23:04

Why are people always OK with able-bodied people using the disabled loos?

I've only ever seen boys in the ladies loos, never men.

WorraLiberty · 06/07/2016 23:05

Oh come on.

Who has time to hang around outside the women's toilets to carefully select a woman with a child or a 'grandmotherly type' (whatever that means??)

If your child is bursting for a wee, it's hardly practical.

And what if they're bursting for a poo? Is it fair on the adult or the child to ask a stranger to wipe their bum?

My step-grandaughter would be mortified. She finds it hard to say hello to shopkeepers she sees every day because she's so shy.

UptownFunk00 · 06/07/2016 23:05

I used to go into the men's when I was little with my Dad.

If he asked a strange woman to help id have held it in and wee'd myself.

To the poster who said they'd teach their DC what to do a 3/4 year old - really? A filly grown adult may panic if felt threatened, you can't seriously expect a young child to remember what to do.

I've used the disabled toilets when looked after opposite sec DC of friends. If someone knocked I'd obviously leave so doing no harm.

2nds · 06/07/2016 23:06

Theyoncesaid what utter bollocks.