Things DH does that make me want to scream.

[Reality]

LIGHT FUCKING HEARTED

When he hangs the washing on the rotary, he double spaces it 'so it will dry quicker'. It doesn't dry any quicker, it just means you can put less out.

He always uses the smallest possible pan 'to conserve energy' which invariably means the pasta or whatever boils over.

His floordrobe of worn once clothes. Why, for the love of god, why?

When he goes to the shop, he takes the 'exact' change that he guesstimates he'll need. Obviously this means he often comes back with missing items due to not taking enough cash.

He randomly drops to the floor and starts doing press ups or sit ups or planks or whatever his latest exercise thing is.

I love him to ends of the earth and back but bloody hell sometimes he baffles me.

AIBU?

Wrapping his dirty pants and socks in his T shirt before inserting in the laundry bin, so they fly out when I am sorting.

I have no idea why it's so annoying, though, or why I'm not ready for it by now.

With mine its buying things we already have. Yesterdays offering was more cat food to go with the two months or so we currently have stacked up, because he thought we had run out, oh and a whole chicken, to keep the other chicken in the freezer company! He also leaves cupboards open wherever he goes, its like living with a poltergeist!

Ah reality thought it was just mine that did the weird work out thing, I find it SO bizarre!

Literally look over my shoulder and he'll be doing sit ups perched on a chair or something. it drives me insane!

mogloveseggs now if that was my DH, he would have brought me one square of kitchen roll, looked at me as if I was some utter screaming cow when I snapped "That's not enough, get some more QUICK!" and would then have returned at his leisure with a further two squares.

When we go away for the weekend he will get out a ridiculously small bag to pack his/the kids stuff. I will try telling him but he insists there is plenty of room. By the time the stuff is ready to go in the car it consists of small bag and several fucking carrier bags of all the stuff that didn't fit. Arghhh!
Also he will moan I am taking too long to get my stuff ready and will take my bag and put it in the car BEFORE I AM FINISHED! ! He thinks he is speeding up the process but it just means I have to make 4-5 extra trips from house to car carrying stuff in my hands to add to my confiscated bag.
Then, despite the fact that he claims to have been waiting around twiddling his thumbs he'll then ask me for directions/postcode for sat nav etc. Why does he not look it up while he's waiting???

Another vote for floordrobe.

Taking at least 20 minutes at the toilet every time - and always takes in a magazine or book with him, yuck!

"I'll do it tomorrow/later" - if someone could tell me when tomorrow/later are due to arrive, I'd be most grateful.

Choosing to do the most ridiculous things at the most ridiculous times, eg tidying up house for DS's birthday party, rather than doing a b hit of hoovering or dusting, he decides to put shelves up that he's been meaning to do for ages.....I guess I answered my own question as to when tomorrow/later comes.....

I'm with you on the drawer thing dabo. Complete chaos after DH has tried and failed to find anything in the house. Along with the accusation that I have "moved" everything of his. Two weeks ago we redecorated the lounge and put in a new fireplace. There are lots of tools in the hallway now and they will remain there unless I put them away in the tool box in the garage. Immediately after doing this DH will want one of them and when he can't find it then it will be my fault for moving everything!

DH also has a floordrobe and can only manage to put dirty clothes in the laundry bin once a month when he has run out.

Also the wet towel thing drives me bonkers. Left on the floor, on the bed anywhere but hung up to dry or in the laundry.

The fucking sky plus planner

Apparently the world will end if there is less than 30% of space left.
Once it hits 31% I am subjected to
-what's this?
-who recorded this?
-have you watched it?
-are you going to watch it?
-when are you going to watch it?
for every single fucking programme on the planner

Every single time, I end up shouting "do you need to record something that requires 32% of space right this fucking second? No? Then leave me alone, in the time it's taken you to go through every fucking programme I could have watched something and given you some precious space on the fucking planner."

Leaves the bathroom sink plug flung willy nilly on the soap rather in its appointed space on the edge of the sink.
Walks past his own clothes on the stairs a million times before taking them up.
Says he'll 'help' with the ironing....the day after its done
Will only mow the lawn if my parents are coming round.

Constantly asking me to pass him stuff for him and the DCs. "Pass me a nappy" "pass me my drink" "pass me the remote control" "pass me a bib". Fuck off! Who do you think passes me shit all day? Oh yes, NOBODY! I have them on my own all day so when you're home grab your own stuff!
Going for a forty minute shit when he gets in from work. Leaving dirty socks all over the place. Falling asleep on the sofa but point blank refusing to go to bed. I could go on....

Oh yes the Sky planner. He gets twitchy if there's less than 25% space on it. But he has things in there he recorded six years ago that he still hasn't watched. I'm not even joking.

This thread has really made me laugh!

Here's my list:

• Wet towels on the bed - very annoying.
• Inability to brush teeth without splattering toothpaste all over the bathroom mirror.
• Going to bed and leaving all the lights on/ not closing any curtains so I have to walk round and do it - that one really bugs me!
• Making a shit cup of tea - it's either grey or the milk has been rationed to a ridiculous degree making it like tar.
• Leaving his dirty clothes in the bath or on top of drawers in bedroom - aaaah!

The faffing when we need to leave the house.
Him: are you ready to go?
Me: yes. Are you?
Him: yep let's go
Me: you're ready to walk out to the car right now?
Him: yep. I'll just quickly change my top, brush my teeth, put in my contact lenses, find my phone and wallet, phone my mum and take the bin out.

He also washes up the recycling really, really thoroughly, like more than I wash actual pots and pans. One of these days I know I'm going to find it in the dishwasher. Just give it a rinse fgs.

He can't make a decision about anything ever. He will say he doesn't mind whatever you ask him.

He never buys anything in actual shops. He talks me into going shopping with him, spends about a week dragging me round millions of shops, doesn't buy a single thing, gets it online once we get home. It's completely joyless.

Leaving his empty clothes hangers on MY wardrobe door handle EVERY. FUCKING. MORNING.

PUT THEM BACK IN YOUR FUCKING WORDROBE OR LEAVE THEM ON YOUR OWN FUCKING DOOR HANDLE.

GGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

and breathe...

Claiming he's ready to go and why aren't we ready.? He then stands uselessly around whilst I sort various shoes, coats and stuff (I've moaned about this several times)

Then when we are all ready, he remembers something he needs or has to do, and disappears for ages. Sometimes we are sat in the car,and even then he'll get out and disappear.

Without fail. Every. Single. Time.

Always leaves about a quarter of his tea/coffee in the cup which he then leaves lying around so when I pick it up it slops out. After 20 odd years I should be prepared for it but why oh why can he just not drink the whole bloody cupful?
Also asks "are you ready? " when I am obviously not ie still in just bra and knickers. I have stated saying "yes" sarcastically. He then looks baffled and says "no you're not". Well, why ask if you already know the answer then you numpty .

I love this thread :)

My DP watches the TV in two modes:
Mode 1: flick through the channels manually using the up / down buttons rather than selecting the whole grid view
Mode 2: finally clicks be grid view then gets distracted by something on his phone so we have to watch the TV through that tiny little square in the top left hand corner

His indecision on choosing anything on Netflix drives me mad too!

But I love him

His floordrobe of worn once clothes. Why, for the love of god, why?

Sigh. I have found my people.

I love my husband but he does have a habit of trying to engage me in conversation in the mornings. Worse still if it is a conversation about a dream.

There are two main rules in my life:

1. Do not expect me to be chatty in the morning
2. Do not tell me about your dream. Its a fecking DREAM it is not REAL and it means SHIT ALL.

Inability to close a draw . Telling our young, excitable ddog he is going for walkies half an you before he's ready to go so ddog gets into a frenzy then sulks and hides ( ddog, not dh )

Keeping everything just in case. We must have a few km of paracord.

Addiction to 'technical' clothing and equipment, baselayers, waterproof socks, multiple black fleece hats, multiple tents, sleepingbags, roomats etc etc. We camp about twice a year.

Nearly finishing a box of cereal, then leaving a tiny amount that's not enough for a bowl and putting it back in the cupboard, buying a new box, and not eating the remainder of the previous box.

Ah honeylulu mine does that too! the wally. When I have wet hair and no make up on! Yes, i'm clearly ready!

He also has this incessant need to tidy up the kitchen while i'm cooking - like washing the knives i'm using, putting the veg I still need back in the fridge!

a definite
yes to the wet towels on the bed; always on my side
yes to the can't find anything which I now the 'man look' as in stand there, look at the ceiling and then shout "I can't find it"

one of the worst things though is why on earth does it take you so long to go to the toilet??? Especially knowing the rest of us are all waiting to leave the house