Things DH does that make me want to scream.

[Reality]

LIGHT FUCKING HEARTED

When he hangs the washing on the rotary, he double spaces it 'so it will dry quicker'. It doesn't dry any quicker, it just means you can put less out.

He always uses the smallest possible pan 'to conserve energy' which invariably means the pasta or whatever boils over.

His floordrobe of worn once clothes. Why, for the love of god, why?

When he goes to the shop, he takes the 'exact' change that he guesstimates he'll need. Obviously this means he often comes back with missing items due to not taking enough cash.

He randomly drops to the floor and starts doing press ups or sit ups or planks or whatever his latest exercise thing is.

I love him to ends of the earth and back but bloody hell sometimes he baffles me.

AIBU?

Takes at least 20 mins to go for a poo. At least !!!!!

Leaving cupboards/wardrobes/drawers open. They SHUT FFS.

Picking his toenails in bed.

Complete failure to hang washing out straight so it dries crease free.

Clearing his throat in a disgusting fashion.

That's about it to be fair. He's pretty good. On the other hand I have so many of these faults... opps.

I'd love all these posters with partners who do the annoying stuff to stop pandering to them, to say no to them, to ignore them and see what happens..

CaptainCabinet, YY to refusing to make phone calls. We have a deal - he has to catch spiders and then I order the takeaways. He's pretty rubbish at his end of the bargain though.

Years ago DH worked with a (gay) colleague who used to say 'Man eyes!' whenever one of them (all-male team) couldn't find something. I have used it regularly ever since for DH and his incredible ability not to see the thing that is right in front of him (and occasionally of myself if I am being an idiot). Amazing how universally it applies...

Man-scanning
puts the incorrect rubbish into the various bins so I have to resort it. (The council will fine you for this)
Washes dishes but I have to rewash them because there is food residue on them.
doesn't use plates so leaves crumbs everywhere.
Forgets dates despite using a calendar..
I could go on!
However I dread to think what his list about me would read!

Not cutting his toe nails until they're hurting his feet when he's wearing shoes (boke!). Stubbing out cigarettes on the side of the house. Argh!!

Mine actually managed to clear up his floordribe today (I'm in strike), put it in the washing machine and tumble dryer. He even found the sink to wash the pans after dinner. I'm really quite confused by the whole thing and would now like to know what he's really up to

thisisme maybe he's read this thread!

Always picks up flyers, leaflets, free newsletters, etc and then leaves them in piles on the table where NO ONE READS THEM.

just found this thread. On Mumsnet because he's watching football downstairs.
A recurring problem it seems re looking for things. Only read two pages!
Mine slops tea or coffee( not fussy) on worktop near the kettle and sink. Never wipes it up so it stains it. I mention it every now and then but no improvement. He says " It might be you." I know it isn't because a) I wipe up if I spill and b) it doesn't happen when he is working away. I bleach it whenhe goes and it is never stained.
Leaves the dresser doors and drawers open aargh! Seems to be another popular one.
Stacks washing in weird places. I'm ill. There is a pile on the back of the sofa and a pile of knickers on the footstool.i hate washing left in sitting room. There is a rack in the hall because of the crap weather put ICT on their or put it away.he says he doesn't know where they go. My knickers have been in the same drawer for 30 years and I imagine he knows where his boxers go!
I went downstairs for a drink this morning to find him reading a book. Food on kitchen worktop, crumbs in the marg and bits on the floor. Dirty microwave...door open so how I know.
Yep have the recycling too. I bought stacking boxes from IKEA for the shed. He puts everything in any of them. Doesn't put it out but takes it to a school two villages away( at least they get some money) and then has to sort it when he gets there.it gets him out of the house

IT not ICT