To tell my husband

[Mousedl1]

So BIL (DHs sisters other half) come over today and caught me on my own and said he desperately needed to see me on my own.
I made my excuses and went to his house where I meet him. He promptly burst into tears and sobbing. He has messed up big time and got loads of payday loans, porned his jewellery and loan sharks to the tune of over £4.5k. Him and SIL credit has taken a battery and they can't get out of it, he isn't sleeping and they are arguing as they can't see a way out as they can't get one loan to pay it off and may lose house. SIL doesn't know he has come to me as she is very proud and he asked me to countersign a loan (39.4%apr). I said no but will get cash from my credit card at interest free and he pays handling charge of £360 in total. He can afford £100.00 a week repayments. I am happy to help and wouldn't want them to lose house but he begged me not to tell DH.
Should I tell DH when SIL won't know and break his trust

Adding my voice to the many. Don't do this. You will never see your money again. He is out of control. Don't let him destroy your finances too. And don't get suckered into keeping secrets for him.

Of course you should tell your DH. Bizarre question.

Hopefully he will tell you to wash your hands of it.

Otherwise - nice gift you're giving your BIL and SIL - they're very lucky.

the credit card wont be interest free though

why cant they go to cab or get debt advice from somewhere so they can manage it
how can they afford 100 pound to give to u but couldnt pay back any debts

A million times no. You are jeopardizing your own family to help people with a poor track record of managing money.

They can go to a debt counseling agency for help.

Do not do this behind your partner's back unless you already have completely separate finances.

And where did BIL's debt come from?

I think OP is going to go ahead despite all the warnings. I don't think anyone thinks this is a good idea.
I think OP just wants advice whether to tell her DP or not.

No to the loan ( you will not see any money back) and YES to telling your DH

You have only heard from him you haven't heard from your SIL at all if I'm right and he wants you not to tell your DH? That is as said previously a massive read flag. As you said you know your own credit but keep in mind if this all goes tits up even with formal written documents you will be back of the line for getting any money back. I think at the very least you should talk to your DH first and personally I wouldn't go near it without also talking to SIL then it's up to you really, but I would only lend money out I can afford to not see again.

No - don't make this loan! As others have said, he's lying to his wife and asking you to lie (by omission) to your husband. Even if you could afford to kiss the ££s goodbye - which is more than likely what you'd be doing - you don't want to enter into this web of deception.

I see your question is actually whether you should tell your husband - yes, because his brother's defaulting on the loan will impact on your family finances.

Withdrawing cash will most assuredly not be interest free.

Something just struck me. How do you know your DH hasn't helped to bail BIL out before? Perhaps that's why BIL is so reluctant for you to speak to your DH?

Please don't even think of not telling your husband . He's the person you owe allegiance to, the person you have to live with and you trust .
Discuss this with him , but don't go behind his back.

inlector I agree with you. The OP think she knows best. She will do this, then she will be at the bottom of his priority list.
If they loose their house its because they have been totally irresponsible with money.

OP as you are determined to do it go ahead, but you won't see your money back. Do you think this will damage your relationship ? it will

(His wife) now has control of his finances

Err no she's doesn't - not while he's trying to source loans she's unaware of. And if she's not supposed to know about his request, why would you believe he'd tell her about money he'd received, even if you were foolish enough to hand any over?

The same goes for the idea of not telling your DH - this guy really does want some cash just for himself, doesn't he?

You need to get him to phone step change they will help him negotiate with his creditors and might be able to get creditors to freeze the interest while him and his wife get themselves straight. You'll just be throwing good money after bad if you give him the money. My dsis recently got herself into £10k debt which she couldn't pay and they helped her negotiate a token payment agreement with her creditors where she pays each creditor £1/month until her circumstances change.

You obviously want to do it so why make this thread. You will not get your money back and it won't help him in the long run.

This could backfire hugely and be the end of the trust in your marriage.

It could ruin your relationship with your SIL and BIL too. And also once you start paying interest the payments would need to go up too. Could they afford higher payments?
Also if you miss a payment - even in an error your credit card company could end your interest free offer and you would be in big trouble financially.

This could just backfire in so many ways. Seems like you're a tad blinkered in this case though, forgive me if that comes over judgementally.

porned his jewellery
Normally I think that correcting people's grammar/spelling in a potentially serious situation is obnoxious, but I can't bring myself to let that one go.
Pawned his jewellery. Pawned.

Purchases and balance transfers can be interest free but CASH taken from a credit card is NEVER interest free. you will end up with massive charges.

Why would you hide this from your DH? Of course you must tell him and your SIL that is YOU he's asking to bail him out.

Tell your dh, do not give BIL money. Especially not withdrawn from your credit card!

Ring your cc company and double check the interest rate on cash balances. It won't be 0% and that interest will be charged from the day of withdrawal.

God u seem set on doing this, but honestly I think your insane

Tell your DH - for all you know he's approached you saying don't tell DH and SIL has approached your DH telling him not to tell you and they're trying to double fleece you.

OP
A LOAN SHARK LOAN IS NOT ENFORCEABLE.
TELL HIM TO PHONE THE BLOODY POLICE AND HAVE DONE WITH IT.
Sorry for capitals but no one seems to take note of the fact above

Well if you're handing out free cash could I also ask for some?

I pretty promise to pay it back - but don't tell your husband. What business is it of his anyway if you get into financial problems! Your marriage isn't as important as mine so you can (literally) afford to put it on the line with this sort of deception.

HE WILL NOT PAY YOU BACK

I can only agree with everyone else. Lending him money in these circsumstances is a big mistake. He's NOT being honest with his wife about his finances if he's not telling her this and I wouldn't be surprised if he has more debt than he's told her or you. Even if your finances are separate from your husband's then I think making a loan like this is a big breach of trust. And your BIL's motivation for not telling your husband is because he knows he'll see sense. As someone else has mentioned above, the only circumstances in which you should lend him this money is if you can afford to write it off as a gift. Never on a credit card.

I hope you see sense. I know you want to help. But please rethink.