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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Things not to say to a pregnant woman

136 replies

DesignedForLife · 01/07/2016 21:22

Heavily pregnant, with lively toddler in tow. Put a lot of effort into making DH a lovely made from scratch lasagna for supper, nearly ready when he walked through the door (he's got a lot of extra work on at the moment, thought he'd appreciate it). He said he didn't want dinner as he didn't have time. Which of course, made me burst into tears.

Please share what unhelpful things have been said to you, maybe it will make me feel better.

He's getting fish fingers and chips for dinner for the next few months. (He does do his share of cooking usually).

OP posts:
wineandcheeseplease · 01/07/2016 21:25

The worst thing someone said to me so far is "was it planned". Like it's anyone's business!!

frangipani13 · 01/07/2016 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted because it contained a disablist term.

NapQueen · 01/07/2016 21:27

"You shouldn't be out at this time of night in your condition"
"I can't believe you went on a night in town at 7months pregnant how dangerous"
"You should be tucked up in bed love"

All said around 10pm on a works "do". Basically a few lemonades in a local bar.

I was indignant and stayed late to make a stand.

toolonglurking · 01/07/2016 21:28

When I was pregnant I found an amazing number of people wanted to tell me their awful birth experiences. Very unnecessary to scare the shit out of a first time mother for fun!

Littlejenfer · 01/07/2016 21:28

'Omg you're going to get so massive'. Errr, yeah?! And?!

AliceInHinterland · 01/07/2016 21:28

I bet you hope you're having a [the opposite sex to your existing child]

As if anything else would be very disappointing to you, and everyone else.

honeylulu · 01/07/2016 21:28

"OMG you are massive/huge/how on earth are you going to lose the weight at your age?" (Fuck off!)
"Was it a mistake?" (No!!!!)
"Do they have different fathers?" (My children are 9+ years apart but still, no!!! And whatever you do, dont say it in front of my husband of 20 years!)

NeedsAsockamnesty · 01/07/2016 21:28

Eat motherfucking bastard arse ginger biscuits

HeyManIJustWantSomeMuesli · 01/07/2016 21:31

Said with an incredulous face by someone considerably larger than me "you just look fat though, you don't look pregnant AT ALL just like you've got fat"
At the time I felt like it was some sort of criticism that I was 'doing pregnancy' right or was indeed, just fat.

honeylulu · 01/07/2016 21:32

Xpost with frangipani. My baby was 5lbs 4oz and I DID lose the weight again. woman who kept saying this to me is now much fatter than me hahaha

Imnotaslimjim · 01/07/2016 21:32

"Why are you tired, you've hardly moved all day...." when I was 37 weeks with DC2, DC1 was 18 months old so getting through the day was exhausting

GlacindaTheTroll · 01/07/2016 21:32

"Ever watched 'Alien'?"

Pearlman · 01/07/2016 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DesignedForLife · 01/07/2016 21:34

The wide eyed "oh!" when you tell them you've still got 8 weeks to go

OP posts:
Kpo58 · 01/07/2016 21:36

I had "I didn't realise that you are pregnant" when over 32 weeks pregnant. Just how fat do you think I am normally?!

moanyhole · 01/07/2016 21:39

"You're as wide as you are tall"
"the mammy cow said to the baby cow fuck off!" said when I expressed my intention to bf

Both said by my GP

butterflylove16 · 01/07/2016 21:42

I second the post about ginger biscuits. I had awful sickness & it's all everyone recommended to me, even people who have never been pregnant - they didn't help one bit!

I personally never minded people commenting on my growing belly, whereas I know many people don't like it. The thing I hated the most was people loving to share their horror labour stories which terrified me at times - thankfully I actually ended up having a pretty good labour.

Waffles80 · 01/07/2016 21:42

"Oh my god, are you sure you're even pregnant? Harharharhar!"

Every. Fucking. Day. When 8 months pregnant. With twins.

The idiot KNEW I was being scanned every week, worried sick, due to both babies small size, IUGR, and the very high chance one was getting more blood than the other.

anyname123 · 01/07/2016 21:43

"Well done mate, good work". Said to me by other half when I told him I was pregnant. What an old romantic!

DiamondInTheRuff · 01/07/2016 21:43

"you really shouldn't be doing that..." as I take out bins / carry DS / move something heavy, followed by deathly silence when I suggest he does it for me. Yes DH, I'm looking at you.

EllenDegenerate · 01/07/2016 21:48

"You're mad"
Yes this is going to be my fifth child but my sanity, if not my pelvic floor is still decidedly intact, thank you.

2yummymummy2 · 01/07/2016 21:48

I have 2 boys and Im pregnant and I get;
Oh I bet you don't want another boy

Haha thanks! I'm having another boy
I just say as long as it's healthy

I would love a girl but not much I can do about it now

I also get
oh you're massive.

My oh is 6ft 3 so I have had big babies but the way people say it it sounds like I'm fat not pregnant

People just always comment on something. I try not to take it personally but...

Worst comment ever ever ever was after I had my last baby and I got asked when is the baby due?

he was about 10 days old and he was at home with my oh, I was out buying bigger clothes because 0-3 didn't fit him

I didn't even realise I still looked pregnant but didn't know what to say

redexpat · 01/07/2016 21:51

Hows your discharge dear?

NeedACleverNN · 01/07/2016 21:55

Eat motherfucking bastard arse ginger biscuits
Angry

I hate ginger at the best of times. Being told to eat them when I felt grotty didn't help!

"Omg you are so tiny! Where are you hiding it all?"

Yeah. Lovely. Thanks. Not the first time I heard it either

BillSykesDog · 01/07/2016 21:55

Women who had easy pregnancies saying 'Oh but I felt fine at that stage' when clearly being dubious about the fact I'm throwing up all the time, sleeping 22 hours a day and am practically housebound and can't move.