Things not to say to a pregnant woman

[DesignedForLife]

Heavily pregnant, with lively toddler in tow. Put a lot of effort into making DH a lovely made from scratch lasagna for supper, nearly ready when he walked through the door (he's got a lot of extra work on at the moment, thought he'd appreciate it). He said he didn't want dinner as he didn't have time. Which of course, made me burst into tears.

Please share what unhelpful things have been said to you, maybe it will make me feel better.

He's getting fish fingers and chips for dinner for the next few months. (He does do his share of cooking usually).

[Fuzzywuzzywasabear]

Check out woman in tesco when I told her I was 30 weeks "is it twins?"
Me "no just the one"
Her "you must have a lot of fluid in there then" while making a face!

Errr no actually I was measuring small at that point and the professionals who deal with pregnant people all the time have told me my bump is actually on the small side so FUCK OFF!

I do scan and pack or self service now.

[Crazycatladyloz82]

I didn't start showing until about 25 weeks so had to endure the "are you sure you pregnant, really sure, has a doctor confirmed it, have you got your dates wrong". Idiots.

[Flossiesmummy]

I'm due tomorrow with dd2 and I'm so ready for the comments to be over!

[MrsPeel1]

By the consultant I was seeing because my bump was measuring a bit small "that's not an excuse to eat more - Ethiopians have babies too, you know". Then he poked me in my stomach.

[VanillaLatteAndCake]

Male colleagues asking if I was going to breastfeed, how best to do it and the benefits of doing so. (to be fair, female colleagues also did this but I felt more awkward when it was the men)

[thrillhouse]

Fucking
Ginger
Biscuits



They're not even that nice when you're NOT pregnant.

[OutsiderInTheGarden]

"Are you sure there's not two in there?"
"Enjoy every minute."
"When do you think you'll have number 2?"
"You should be at home with your feet up."
"You won't get a chance to do that when baby arrives."

[NoPowerInTheVerseCanStopMe]

"It will change your life you know, things won't be the same after the baby arrives"

Well...yes...that's kind of the point!

[PeppaAteMySoul]

"Are you sure your pregnant? You have no bump whatsoever." Said to me yesterday morning. I'm 19 weeks pregnant with my second child and worried how tiny I still look. I went to the bathroom and burst into tears.

[Bringmewineandcake]

At DD2's 10 day check up yesterday, the midwife "will we see you back here soon for a boy?" no!!!

[fruityb]

Was it planned? I still can't get over how rude and personal that is!

Are you sure there's only one?

Oh just wait for childbirth it ruins you.

Now then porky - said by FIL. He got both barrels right back.

Why do people think it's ok to tell you you're fat, ask about your sex life practically or that your body will
be destroyed. It's like they hope you suffer if they did!

[OutsiderInTheGarden]

"Was it planned?" WTAF??? That's got to be the worst.

[Comtesse]

"Ooh you're getting bigger and bigger", said every week by a super annoying client - no shit, if the bump was getting smaller and smaller during pregnancy that would be a bit of a problem. Apparently his brain was getting bigger and bigger tho...

[Luciferbox]

"You can tell you're pregnant, you've got that hunted look about you."
WTF?

[SingingMyOwnSpecialSong]

"Well it doesn't look good does it."

Female GP in a whisper when I'd gone to ask for HGC blood test to alleviate my worries about a tiny bit of spotting at 6 weeks In my second pregnancy, after my first ended in a MMC. She hadn't even asked about my symptons.

Everything was fine, 17-month-old DD is napping on me as I type.

[2ManySweets]

Honestly this thread has struck such a chord with me

perfects death stare before returning to work in six weeks*

[Perpetualstateofchaos]

When are you due? 2 days after ds1s due date. Tbf I was absolutely huge.
Can't she cope at home when in labour with ds1.
Oh your tiny are you sure you haven't just put on a bit of weight.

[Beebacoff]

Need - that must have been awful for both of you!

[NeedACleverNN]

It wasn't pleasent lets put it that way. Had to have corrective surgery as was stitched too tight. But hey at least you can tell your FIL it is not like falling off a log.

[OutsiderInTheGarden]

FIL should be pushed off a bloody log for that. And then have said log rolled over his soft parts, repeatedly.

[greenfolder]

i got with my last

'You are mad"
Have they all got the same dad
Was it planned

Happened to be that we had very much wanted a dc3 for many years and had always planned 3 or 4. So we had a 10/12 year gap. Me and dp had been together 19 years by the time we had number 3.

my dh did not believe me until a consultant said to us both "was it planned?'. DH stared in him the eye and said in a very manly fashion "played for and won". (He is usually the most laid back man you could meet).

consultant actually spluttered and went red.

[mirime]

I started feeling sick the day I did the test and got worse from there, so many, many recommendations of ginger. Like most other things at the time, ginger made me sick. Also dry crackers, mint, everything you can think of. Fgs, moving often made me sick and if I was awake i was nauseous. Bloody travel sickness wristbands don't work either.

GP on being told that drinking made me sick "try harder" also told me they couldn't do anything until I was actually dehydrated. Cue weeks of desperately trying to stave off dehydration because GP also implied anti-nausea drugs could harm the baby

Not sonly much what she said, but the midwifes attitude of complete disbelief that I'd lost weight and disapproval of me drinking lemon San pellegrino. Only liquid I had chance of keeping down at that point. I tell her water (all water) makes instantly sick and she suggests carbonated water.

Director of my work when I refused to go to a meeting because there was no easy access to a toilet "can't you be sick in the bin?". Err, no! Not fair on me or anyone else attending the meeting.

Ooh, aren't you small for insert number of weeks

Aren't you having a difficult pregnancy!

Do you really need to go to the clinic? Swelling is normal in pregnancy - after I woke up with a swollen face and hands. Yes, it was necessary and yes I had pre-eclampsia.

[CeeCee00]

Beebacoff yes! I decided to pretty much play by the rules and was constantly lectured....'oh well my French mother smoked and drank the whole way through' 'surely a bit of booze won't hurt' 'oh but there's nothing wrong with a bit of sushi'. I got a lot of 'well my mum didn't avoid....and I'm fine'.

Incidentally, most of this came from friends without babies.

Blah blah blah...constant references to the NHS not being able to rule my life. My grandmother just admonished me for saying that I won't give my 6 month honey yet - of course when she had her babies they all ate honey and were fine. Which is true, but we know more now don't we.

[mirime]

CeeCee, I noticed a lot of that from people on their second child who'd stuck to all the rules with their first.

(I believe supermarket sushi is fine though, or it was 3 and a half years ago)

[bgmama]

"Well, it's still early, you never know how things will go" said by my line manager with a hopeful look on his face when I told him I was pregnant.
"You're still in early/not established labour" said to me over the phone by the midwife. I was well into the second stage when I arrived at hospital half an hour later. DS was born less than an hour after that.
Not to mention my colleagues who chased a waiter away when I asked him to pour me a small glass wine at a restaurant (yes, I did drink the occasional glass of wine during my pregnancy!)