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Original poster

Things not to say to a pregnant woman

136 replies

DesignedForLife · 01/07/2016 21:22

Heavily pregnant, with lively toddler in tow. Put a lot of effort into making DH a lovely made from scratch lasagna for supper, nearly ready when he walked through the door (he's got a lot of extra work on at the moment, thought he'd appreciate it). He said he didn't want dinner as he didn't have time. Which of course, made me burst into tears.

Please share what unhelpful things have been said to you, maybe it will make me feel better.

He's getting fish fingers and chips for dinner for the next few months. (He does do his share of cooking usually).

OP posts:
Beebacoff · 02/07/2016 13:49

Cee - feel your pain...

Need - how horrid for you...

I found my FIL's comment annoying, although I guess he was trying to reassure me (he was wrong, by way).

opalescent · 02/07/2016 13:56

So many people have asked me 'was it planned?'
So so rude!!!

BARB060609 · 02/07/2016 14:03

Oh another one, "you've had an easy pregnancy haven't you" well yes I am lucky to have not had any complications so far, but I would say I have had a normal pregnancy with the usual aches, pains, indigestion, discomfort etc. I just don't moan about them like a lot of others do. Plus it did take a number of years to actually get to this stage so that side of it was definitely not "easy"!

RattieOfCatan · 02/07/2016 14:07

I got told the week before last by a neighbour that I look fat. (Just 5 months and getting a bump). I said "Oh, you don't know do you? I'm-"
"Yes I know, don't be silly. You just are fat too."

Fucking thanks. Never been above a size 10 on top, having minor [very irrational] issues with my weight gain as it's the first time I've been bigger and you tell me I'm fucking fat Angry

Jokes from my granddad at my nephews party last week about how I shouldn't be trying to lose weight right now because I wasn't eating the party food Hmm I'm gluten free and vegetarian (which he knows), my nephew is lactose intolerant and allergic to egg, so I took snacks which I hid away and ate a lot before people turned up and certainly never expected to be catered for as it was hard enough to cater for the birthday boy himself!

Cheekychops73 · 02/07/2016 14:16

Another was it planned here Angry in a restaurant with my 2 older boys 15 & 20 at the time by a waitress we didn't even know WTF it was also asked by numerous people we did know who felt it was their bloody business.

Oh are you hoping for a girl this time? No at 40 being healthy is my concern.

Finding out it was going to be son number 3 that's a shame Hmm said by good friend actual response was eh? Why? Reply "cos you won't have a daughter" fuck me had had an animocentices I really didn't care was just glad all was good with him.

People are just arses

PortiaCastis · 02/07/2016 14:20

Obviously not planned at your age and are you having triplets said to me by a school friend

kiwi10 · 02/07/2016 14:23

'Are you having twins?'

No!!

HmmHmmHmm

Sparklesilverglitter · 02/07/2016 14:29

pink i thought you couldn't have sex until 8-10 weeks after a baby Why do people think they can talk about your self life just because your pregnant, so rude.

I'm having my 1st baby in August at age 39, so I guess some might say I'm an old Mum although I'd disagree. I've have "well that can't of been planned" " more chance of miscarriage at your age" " I'm not sure you've thought this over properly" "you are massive sure it's not twins"

8DaysAWeek · 02/07/2016 14:40

The classic "was it planned?"
"You're still being sick? I felt amazing in the second trimester!" Good for you.
"You can't tell your pregnant from the side but you have definitely gotten bigger from the back" Charming
After explaining I've vomited daily for months, no energy, feel crap, midwife writes "Generally feeling fine" in my notes
"If you think you're tired now just wait until the baby's here!" Hmm

IndiansInTheLobby · 02/07/2016 15:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justilou · 02/07/2016 15:19

What on earth made you decide to have twins???? (Just a whim.... Really regretting it now!)
Are they natural??? (No - they're artificially colored and flavoured.)
I.V.F.? (No.... S.E.X.)

Leggytadpole · 02/07/2016 15:31

"Are you going to breastfeed it? Eurgh you'll end up with saggy tits" said by my then manager!

Leggytadpole · 02/07/2016 15:33

Oh and "are you expecting again already?" Pointing to my baby belly when I was holding my 8 week old.

OutsiderInTheGarden · 02/07/2016 15:37

"You're a glutton for punishment!" Helpful. Thanks.

LoucheLady · 02/07/2016 16:38

"Are you sure you should be drinking that cup of tea?" My FIL, the man for whom the word mansplainer was invented.

Original poster
DesignedForLife · 02/07/2016 16:57

Have to say I think DSis had it worse... Long hard journey to conceive during which she had several people tell her off for putting her career first Sad happily has beautiful babies now though.

OP posts:
thequeenofsandwich · 02/07/2016 17:13

When expecting my 1st child- now 25 , I mentioned we had been to see The Silence of the Lambs. " how disgusting " exclaimed a colleague "that child will be born evil now". Hmm. A more loving , caring son I couldn't imagine

Beedoo123 · 02/07/2016 17:49

"Oh you're having twins? I know someone who had twins; they died."
Said to me by a lady on the checkout at budgets! Shock

BuntyBlue · 02/07/2016 18:00

I can't imagine you as a mother Hmm.

You're so small, you need to eat properly to have a healthy baby, not be worrying about your figure Angry. I ate plenty and was very worried about the baby's growth and had to have weekly scans.

Incredible how rude people can be.

Jasperkiss5 · 02/07/2016 18:05

The worst thing said to me when I was pregnant a year ago with my first and only child was from a 'friend' who is in her late 40's and suddenly decided that she wanted another. She was really jealous of my pregnancy throughout and turned on me in a number of ways.

When I was 39 weeks she said to me that she nearly bought us a card the other day for when we have the baby, but she put it back because she is superstitious and didn't think it right to buy a card yet. So basically she was implying that she picked a card up but put it back because she thought something may happen to my baby. I thought that was such an awful thing to say. Not something you say to a pregnant woman by any means!

Oh and my mother in law spent a good 20 minutes telling me about a woman on tv who had a still born at 40 weeks and how terrible it was. Not something you want to hear.

Pinkheart5915 · 02/07/2016 18:15

My first pregnancy ended in stillbirth very late in the pregnancy and when I was pregnant with ds a "friend" said oh I'm surprised you've got the cot and baby stuff after what happened last time, have they said the chances of it happening again, I wouldn't of had another one after the stillbirth you was a mess

Thanks for that "friend" that really cheered me up no end.

OutsiderInTheGarden · 02/07/2016 18:25

Oh Pink that's really awful. I'm sorry for your loss, what a terrible thing to have to endure. Flowers

Andrewofgg · 02/07/2016 18:27

^When expecting my 1st child- now 25 , I mentioned we had been to see The Silence of the Lambs. " how disgusting " exclaimed a colleague "that child will be born evil now".

Years ago when LBC ran hour after hour of mindless drivel phone-ins I heard a woman say that she was smoking while pregnant so that her baby would be immune to lung-cancer. Probably a relation of your colleague!

Daffodil90 · 02/07/2016 18:31

I got the 'oooh have you had a Guinness?? You should have a guinness!!' When at works drinks. I didnt like it before, and I'm not going to be trying it now thanks. Well aware you can have a little amount of booze but I decided to teetotal it, to others disappointment.
DH thinks someone said 'was it planned' to us but I can't remember it so it must have just happened to him when sharing the news!

Duckstar · 02/07/2016 18:34

"Twins?" "There must be 2 in there"

No. Just the one. Horrified looks

"Well you must be ready to pop."

I just smiled and said yes (was in fact only 34 weeks).

Baby was 8lb. I just was all bump.