Thrown out of parenting FB group. WIBU?

[FuckingVipers]

I attend a local baby activity with DD (think nursery rhymes and bouncing) and in an attempt to make some friends with babies the same age I joined the Facebook group some of them had set up. It all seemed fairly innocuous for a few weeks but now I've been shunned.

Yesterday one of the people from the group posted. She said her 12 week old DS had seemed a bit hungry so she'd given him a few spoonfuls of tinned tomatoes with pesto. Since then he'd been unsettled so basically she'd decided to fully wean him and wanted everyone's opinion.

I tried so hard not to hoik up my judgey pants but I couldn't help it. I calmly commented telling her why it was a bad idea and you know, tinned tomatoes and pesto aren't so good. I was calm.

Then the backlash! "Omg hun u know ur own baby! U know what's best!"

Everyone attacked me for not being supportive. It got pretty nasty. Not one person agreed with me and by the end the consensus was that every baby should pretty much be weaned before birth and possibly before conception if you think it's best.

I got thrown out of the group and sent a message telling me I shouldn't go back to the group. They're not the organisers, just people who attend. The group is this afternoon and I don't know if I should go.

WIBU? WWYD?

I think if you have a fundamental disconnect with these people over ideas (facts!) about raising babies then there's no point pursuing the group for friendships. It might be worth posting a "sorry if I offended you, I really didn't mean to sound judgemental, it's just something I'd heard and was trying to help smiley face" apology : to make the peace and in case baby ends up at school with these people's kids in a few years! Of course 1000% you are right in what you said, but it might keep the peace (and you can feel vastly morally superior while you're at it).

Lweji, I said it was my opinion, I didn't state it as fact. And I also said that my opinion was based on my research of those particular guidelines. The data shows that the percentage of cases of illness or mortality linked to formula made at lower temperatures was minuscule, and in every single case the cause of the illness was a contaminated preparation environment and not the formula powder itself.

As for weaning, maybe I'm getting my dates mixed up. My daughters' early years often merge into one in my memory, and which of them is in some baby photos is sometimes best identified by what they were wearing or where they were taken.

I also think the new rules about making up bottles at no less than 70° or whatever, because formula powder isn't sterile, is a load of nonsense.

I've carried on reading the thread since my last post, but haven't commented since....but now I have to.
A friend of mine ended up in the hospital with her 11 week old son a few months ago....he had gastroenteritis caused by E.Coli - which can be found in formula powder! My friend wasn't aware of the "70 degree rule", so was boiling water, measuring it into bottles, leaving it to cool, adding the powder to the cooled water when she needed it and then warming the bottle. The cooled water clearly couldn't kill the E.Coli in the contaminated batch of formula powder she had, and it made her poor baby very very sick!!
Using water that is at least 70 degrees to make up bottles is most definitely not nonsense!

That us rhe problem with dismissing official recommendations as bollocks.

One thing is to point out that the risk is low (it is in some countries), the other is to dismiss it completely to other people.

There are many instances where I look at official recommendations and don't follow them to the letter, but only after identifying what is the risk due to and weighing it up to the situation.
Btw, you said you researched it, but didn't say more than that it was nonsense. Such sweeping statements usually tell me that it's that person who's talking nonsense and bollocks.
In the case of making formula ir can only be safer to prepare with hot water, regardless of the source of contamination. Most people aren't good at keeping things sterile. It takes a lot of training and changing how we handle things, so it can only be a good thing to minimise risks where we can.
There is also a difference between preparing formula to use immediately and formula to store for a while.
So, dismissing such recommendations completely on a forum, again, is irresponsible. It leads to people just ignoring any of them and thinking that whatever gig do is fine, when it may not be.

Mybreadiseggy, firstly I'm sorry to hear about your friend's baby.

Lweji, will have to agree to disagree. I'm well aware of when I'm talking bollocks and when someone else is.

Irresponsibility is not verbalising one's opinion (IMO of course). Irresponsibility IMO would be basing one's parenting decisions solely on the opinion of a complete stranger.

And if I'm being irresponsible, as you say in your sweeping statement, I'm in the company of an awful lot of people, including the WHA from inception until these guidelines were brought in a few years ago. It's a miracle the human race has survived, in the face of such cavalier behaviour.

My daughter who is 7 has been experiencing severe acid reflux for the past two months. This has come completely out of the blue as she has never had these issues before. The dr was very surprised that she was experiencing this at her age. She has been on three different medications . The first two didn't help at all but the third one has definitely reduced it but had not stopped it. She still "spits up" up her food at least 4 times a day, swallows it down at school and can only eat certain foods that won't irritate it. However, she is now complaining of stomach pains a lot... so much so we ended up in urgent care last night. She has had blood tests which have come back normal. We are waiting to see a specialist. I was just wondering if any other mums have had this experience with their children and could provide any insight or advice ?? It seems to be really getting her down and her dad and I are quite worried about it. Thanks for reading!!!

Clare it's probably best to start your own thread to get some answers, this is from months ago.

THIS IS A ZOMBIE THREAD!!!

I befriended a woman years ago at ds nursery, we then both had baby girls a few months later. One day she asked me to call in to her house, when I arrived she was weaning a three month old baby with fried egg.
I can still see that egg in the frying pan.

Thank you!!! I'm not sure how I posted on here! I'm new ... can you tell!? 😂

Just to follow in form sod's comment. I know this isn't really what the thread is about, but I just wanted to highlight the importance of making up the formula when the water is hot to kill any lurking bacteria. My nephew spent two weeks in hospital from a bacterial infection, suspected to have been caused by his milk.
I personally never followed this rule for my one year old, but I will if I have any more - I had no idea how serious it could be. It's a bit of extra effort, but don't ignore it.

Also sor y! Know it's an old thread, but the milk comment worried me.

YANBU in the slightest! Tomato paste with pesto for a 12 week baby? It's so full of salt for a start ...

Does anyone remember that tragic case of a baby who died because his parents thought feeding him on adult Reddybrek was acceptable? Baby died of salt poisoning, iirc. Tragic.

oh bugger, zombie thread. sorry folks

MollyTwo ' It's her baby, so she can feed him whatever she wants' - not true. you can kill a baby giving it incorrect food.

Personally if I felt the need to comment on something like this I would phrase it as, 'well the Health visitor told me....' or 'I think I read that the current advice is..'.

Then it doesn't look like I am thinking I know better than the person I am talking to. I am just sharing what I have heard. Which is true, I am just sharing what I have heard.
I think this is easier for people to hear.
In my parent's generation weaning at 12 weeks was normal.

THREAD IS FROM JUNE

Ds2 was weaned at 3 months on the advice of his paediatrician!!! Yep ... A fully qualified, with a badge and a stethoscope consultant!!!
He had severe reflux and had been hospitalised many times.

So whoever said I really can't be arsed looking there is no reason to wean a child at 3 months ... You are wrong !!!
Food sits heavier than milk so more likely to stay down it didn't work for DS who continued to puke for fucking 2 more years !!!

I did though go for a baby porridge ... Funnily enough tomatoes and pesto would not have been on my radar for first tastes. DD first taste was pizza as she stole a crust from DH plate she was 5 mths.... We did BLW with her.