Thrown out of parenting FB group. WIBU?

[FuckingVipers]

I attend a local baby activity with DD (think nursery rhymes and bouncing) and in an attempt to make some friends with babies the same age I joined the Facebook group some of them had set up. It all seemed fairly innocuous for a few weeks but now I've been shunned.

Yesterday one of the people from the group posted. She said her 12 week old DS had seemed a bit hungry so she'd given him a few spoonfuls of tinned tomatoes with pesto. Since then he'd been unsettled so basically she'd decided to fully wean him and wanted everyone's opinion.

I tried so hard not to hoik up my judgey pants but I couldn't help it. I calmly commented telling her why it was a bad idea and you know, tinned tomatoes and pesto aren't so good. I was calm.

Then the backlash! "Omg hun u know ur own baby! U know what's best!"

Everyone attacked me for not being supportive. It got pretty nasty. Not one person agreed with me and by the end the consensus was that every baby should pretty much be weaned before birth and possibly before conception if you think it's best.

I got thrown out of the group and sent a message telling me I shouldn't go back to the group. They're not the organisers, just people who attend. The group is this afternoon and I don't know if I should go.

WIBU? WWYD?

When my son was tested for nut allergies, pine nuts were one of the things they tested for. Pine nuts are in pesto. God help her baby if he's allergic to them.

And dipping the dummy in gravy? I have no words.

Depends how large is the group at activity (and whether you can handle the unpleasant atmosphere/looks). If there's other people to mingle with i'd perhaps go. If not then try finding something else.
I hate that 'mummy knows best' crap. That's not always the case. I'm sure her baby will be ok however there's no need for such a strong reaction (from them). Maybe you're not 'hun' enough for them

If nothing else, it's not ideal for a baby to develop a taste for anything overly salty or sweet because they will refuse blander foods later on.

Interesting that the screenshot still doesn't include your comment. I suspect it was a bit more inflammatory than you're claiming.

LittleRedHen, yes that's the terrible story I remember.

Yanbu, research is there for a reason. I think you're better off being out of a group that have cut you out because you have a different opinion to them.
I am baffled as to how anyone even gets a 12 week old to open their mouth to eat tinned tomatos off a spoon. Both of mine were weaned around 5.5 months and the first couple of weeks were still hard work trying to get them to open their mouths for spoon or finger food!

As a previous poster stated I used to hate baby activity groups because the only thing I had in common with the other mothers was that we all had given birth.

Competitive parenting, insidious bitching (oh my God, what IS she wearing would have been the theme of the day) and the fact that none of my children actually benefited from attending Tumble Tots and Gymboree and the like, makes me wonder now why I ever bothered. Thankfully Facebook wasn't a thing then I am old

I am loving the huns . Bloody brilliant entertainment.

Meow That's an odd reaction to a perfectly normal post, Lynda. hmm
What makes you think user1465823522 is trolling? You can use cut and paste, btw. hth.

I don't think it's a perfectly normal post. I think it's an odd post because it's patently not ever going to be advised to wean a 3 month old onto canned tomatoes and pesto.

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. hth

The reporting to the group organisers is presumably because they should know of a group of people are ordering their clients to stay away.

Of course it's an awful idea, even if you choose to wean earlier 17 weeks is the earliest official age I've ever seen and this baby is 5 weeks off that.

I daresay this will simply be one of many ludicrous and poorly informed decisions this person will make with regard to their child.

NotBad

The Sacla pesto in my cupboard has three grams of salt in every 100g.

YWNBU - as long as you were tactful. What exactly did you say OP as it does seem like you might have sounded a teensy bit judgy (can't be too careful when giving opinions on someone else's child...even when they ask)

Next time look for a baby group run by MN (actually that's not such a bad idea)

I got asked to leave a baby group because I had a flare up of a chronic condition that "looks unpleasant and can you really be sure it isnt contagious?" Yes I was sure, but that didnt stop them standing up in front of everyone in the group and basically bullying me. Was horrible.

I got an apology and some flowers later in the week, they said that it all "got out of hand" as if that was an excuse for the baying mob! I never went back and never missed it.

As I read on MN once, you cant reason with stupid. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Sorry - just realised that you were quoting sodium levels - but that's still 1.3g per 100g.

Are they all like it or just some of them? Sounds like one of the other mums on there was trying to be more sensible with just giving tastes - I think she's trying to sow the seed that 16 weeks is better and even then start with little tastes not a full on meal...That's just my impression from your snapshot.

YANBU.

She is, for forgetting the pasta.

And I can't see her really feeding that every day. Unless she has tomato pesto pasta every day. But unlikely. Like another poster said, she'll learn the hard way when her baby's tummy is more unsettled.

I'd go and mix with some of the other mums and stay off the fb group. If they say anything face to face (doubtful) then just say you said what you needed to say and you've moved on.

I do not think that ANY medical condition warrants giving your 12 week old baby tinned tomatoes and pesto.

The poor little mite was probably unsettled after because he had tummy ache. I would have still gone to the group OP, I would have also walked straight up to them and had a word about it - then I probably wouldn't have gone back!

I would def show the organizers the shots of the these bullies.
I think they would be very interested that other members were being told not to come back ( who knows if op is the first??)
Ignorant bullies.
Don't think it matters if info changes all the time ( though hasn't changed for few years) they're never going to say it's ok to wean your 3 month old on pesto.
Doesn't matter if op judged this mother, think i'd be the same if i saw this.
Dread to think how the poor baby is feeling today!

More evidence that having given birth at the same time is not a basis for friendship or a good enough reason to spend time together. Personally, at that stage of motherhood I satellited around the edge of lots of different groups until I found people that I probably would have got on with before children, pre-FB thank God. Don't put yourself through the ringer, find another group.

I would have also forwarded the email telling you not to go any more to the organiser.

Show the organizer the emails and give it a try . Otherwise look for another group.

Bogeyface that is appalling!! You poor thing. Baby groups can be horrid places, full of spiteful people we would normally avoid.

Eventually you do find some mums that you have something in common with, but it takes a while and can be disheartening.

Sorry but, who feeds a 3 month old baby tinned tomatoes and pesto???

If people reach out to a forum for advice they should expect to receive answers that challenge their current ideas and opinions, which is the point of an open forum.

Leave them to their little clique and in future, NEVER respond in an argument, or difference in opinion to anyone 'dat rites like dis on a 4rum'.

I wouldn't want to be in a group like that. That's the trouble with groups. You won't necessarily have the same outlook just because you have children.