texting early morning/late at night

[fizzingmum]

AIBU to think that unless it is an emergency there is no need to text or message someone early in the morning? I have a couple of friends who for different reasons are both early risers and will think nothing of messaging at 6am onwards. I have two DC and we have a very good morning routine meaning that we don't need to be up until 7.30, but I will often be woken early as they are up and have something to say, which could always wait. I've mentioned it to both friends and the response ive received has been that I should turn my phone off if I don't want to be contacted. I don't see why they can't respect my request to keep
To more sociable hours. I need my phone on for actual emergencies. My children may be with their Dad and need me, or my Dad might need me. But getting a picture of my friends son enjoying a party from the weekend at 6am in a Monday morning just maddens me! I think that before 9am and after 9pm it is rude to text. I'm also 35 weeks pregnant so will be needing to get sleep when I can. How do I tell them to stop
This shit!

YABVU.

I was brought up that you do not call before 8am unless someone is dead or dying and not after 9pm ditto. Up to 2130 if it's urgent. My now DH used to call later and worry my parents! I'm of the opinion that texting or fb messaging has the same rules

But they are your 'rules'. There's no necessity for anyone else to abide by what was the 'done thing' in your family, is there?

Thanks for the links to the 'Do Not Disturb' settings - I didn't know about these - always turn my phone off at night, but this will allow me to use that setting and still know my dc should contact me by calling if they needed to.

I recently overheard a childminder politely tell off one of her mums for texting her in the evening. I was thinking, just put your blooming phone on silent, silly woman. I get texts at all hours but choose when to read them as receiving them doesn't disturb me.

I was brought up that you do not call before 8am unless someone is dead or dying and not after 9pm ditto. Up to 2130 if it's urgent

Those rules are pretty universal TBH. Same as you wouldn't knock on someone's door between those hours unless a matter of life and death or you were all known night owls.

What if its convenient for you to end a text at 2.30am? But that text then wakes up the recipient

Then they are a fool for having the phone in the bedroom. Is this common? When did people become so fearful of 'emergencies' that they can't ever be out of earshot/sight of their phones but then won't use the DND feature when they don't want disturbing? Madness.

It's impossible to trust a phone to stay quiet on it's own even if you do demand that all your friends and relatives only contact you during permitted hours. PPI calls and texts, wrong numbers, delayed texts, accidental calls, people getting confused by time differences etc etc. So leave the phone downstairs or use the DND features FFS!

Oh those friends will be me then 😐.
I'm also pregnant and find it really difficult to sleep so I do sometimes forward something I've read on line and then realise the time.
I also receive messages from friends early in morn. for my close family ( who I knw will only text/ call in emergency so early I have set a seperate ring tone so I knw it's them-
Brother finds this annoying when he tries to text me whilst his there just to get me to get up and get my ph9ne( he can be childish like that 😍) and I knw its him and ignore it.

YABU. I put my phone on silent and on flight mode overnight so that the only noise it makes is when the alarm goes off in the morning. Very simple.

I'm lost, op why can't you just switch your phone to do not disturb, theres a setting for breakthrough numbers so if dad or daughters ring you'll still get the call/ text.

This really is 'cancel the cheque ' all over again!

The reality is that people do text at strange hours because the general expectation/belief is that if you don't want to be disturbed then you would put your phone on silent.

I have been known to get work texts around 6-7am (people texting in sick to give you plenty of notice to find cover or re-jig schedules etc). My colleague even got one at 4.30am from A&E from someone warning us that she wouldn't be in.

Needless to say my phone is nowhere near me overnight as I certainly don't want to be woken up!

BTW my post is more general chat.

I'm not telling the OP to cancel the cheque put her phone on silent as i suspect that may have been mentioned

I think there are easy ways round this (as discussed with call settings etc), but I actually am with you on the courtesy side of things- I don't text my friends really early (9am seems a bit extreme, but I wouldn't before 7ish), or after about 10, because it just seems a bit rude, in case they have forgotten to put their phone on silent and I wake them up. I also think if you've asked them specifically not to it seems a bit rude that they just ignore that!

I think YANBU - I never text people before 8ish and latest I would text would be 9.30ish. We don't all have iPhones with loads of functions. Mine goes on silent as can't be bothered to keep faffing about with settings as need it on silent at work too.
Perhaps your friends are jealous of the fact your children sleep in until 7.30 whilst theirs are up at 6.
It's v rude to keep on doing something that you've asked them not to do. Also why the need to keep messaging mundane stuff? I find it bizarre that everyone on here is saying YABU and that you should be pleased to get messages at any time of night or day. A text is not like an email or a FB message - they are both much less instrusive.

For all of you saying I am ignoring the option to put phone on dnd, my first response at 10.32 yesterday was to say I was unaware the phone could do that and I would look into it. So it's not cancel the cheque all over again, maybe read the responses before commenting.
I believe more than ever I am not BU now. I'm not a bad person or a cow to my friends. In fact I respect them and their lifestyles. Let's hope they read this and change their ways!

I totally agree with you OP - have been seriously miffed by friends doing the same on a number of occasions, and it's woken DH too! I use my phone as an alarm and also in case MIL needed help so it is by my bed. I don't want to adjust the settings every night and then undo it every morning - and cannot understand why anyone would think it was OK to send messages between 9pm and 8am or thereabouts. The world's gone mad.....!!

You aren't being unreasonable - drives me mad when people text nonsense at stupid times

It's all very well saying "oh! I didn't realise there was a DND function!" But have you actually used it?!

fizzingmum you have misunderstood people, myself included, saying "cancel the cheque" that is aimed at other posters coming on and giving the same repatitve advice over and over again as if it hasn't already been said, it's aimed at them not you

I think most of the people saying cancel the cheque actually agreed with you

I put my phone on silent when I go to sleep and turn it back on when I'm awake because I know I'll get a few emails and whatever else overnight. Honestly, it'll solve your problem. Your alarm will still sound even if your phone's on silent.

Whoever who text you at silly o'clock are BU but it doesn't have to affect you.

Oh my god what a load of hoo-har!

IME texts can come in hours after they've been sent ... ie: anytime. Ad. texts from the network arrive at random times as well. Most people who don't want to hear their phone go off at night either change the settings or keep it out of ear shot.

OPs chosen to sleep next to a device which could go off anytime day or night and is using it for 24/7 emergency contact with family rather than use her landline AND didn't think to look into changing the settings on it. Ye gods.