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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pretending to be asleep to see what DH will do.

188 replies

pinksugarmouse · 25/06/2016 23:45

So I pretend I'm asleep to see if DH will masturbate, I don't know why - it triggered when I had HG and was too ill for sex, he's never actually done anything in all these times but I lay there stiff as a mouse and each time he moves my heart starts thudding so hard like 'here we go' till sometimes I have to pretend I've had a bad dream because I actually cannot breathe.

OP posts:
usual · 26/06/2016 00:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyKingdomForBrie · 26/06/2016 00:04

What on earth do you think you'd be 'confronting' him with if he did?! Christ how horribly controlling.

IlovesLiz · 26/06/2016 00:04

yeah, i was going to say he would have a wank in the showere. not in bed cos then he couldn't have a right old go and enjoy himself. not if you were watching.

Dieu · 26/06/2016 00:04

It sounds like you have a bit of anxiety. It does ring a vague bell for me, the feelings you're experiencing I mean. Probably from when my marriage was at its unhappiest.

sooperdooper · 26/06/2016 00:06

You're getting upset and angry at him for something he's never done? I feel sorry for him, poor bloke even if he did so what, you've pretended to be asleep - would you rather he woke you up for sex when he thinks you don't want it?

AShadowLurkingInTheShadows · 26/06/2016 00:10

Ybu I'd talk to someone dp has had wanks next to me whilst watching porn whilst I've been asleep. He still loves and wants me but knows he'll be in trouble not to wake me up

Motherfuckers · 26/06/2016 00:13

"he's so loyal and faithful too".
Wanking (even besides you in the bed) is not being disloyal or unfaithful. Seriously fucking weird.

hotdiggedy · 26/06/2016 00:13

Has something like this happened in the past maybe (with someone else I mean)?

JudyCoolibar · 26/06/2016 00:14

You need to get yourself referred for psychiatric help as soon as possible, OP.

SkyRabbit · 26/06/2016 00:14

Slightly unsure what the problem is here? He thinks you're asleep, so presumably doesn't think it's an issue having a quick wank to get himself to sleep? He's not exactly being a sex pest.
Do you not like him wanking? Or is it that you're in the same room? Or is it the bed moving, stopping you sleeping?
Talk to him.

loobyloo1234 · 26/06/2016 00:15

This has got to be a troll post Shock

Why don't you masturbate him instead if you are so worried about him doing it himself? Hmm

PerspicaciaTick · 26/06/2016 00:19

I can't begin to imagine how any "confrontation" would play out, except that it sounds like you deliberately want to sabotage your marriage.
You say that there are no other issues at all. but you are caught in what you know is a destructive cycle. So you need to seek professional help.

Original poster
pinksugarmouse · 26/06/2016 00:20

But I'm not upset or angry at him, I just seem to like the adrenaline of waiting.

OP posts:
PerspicaciaTick · 26/06/2016 00:23

So what is with planning how to confront him then?
Are you saying that you get a kick out of the anticipation? Do you think you really would want to confront him in the unlikely event you did catch him? Or is this some sort of fantasy?

KittensandKnitting · 26/06/2016 00:25

Are you going to jump up if he dares to move his hand below the covers shouting "gotcha" and pointing at his penis.

He will know your not asleep Hmm

KittyLaRoux · 26/06/2016 00:25

It's the peeping tom aspect of it.

You say you have no sex drive yet your obsession is sexually driven.
You are frustrated not because he wanks instead of having sex with you but because you haven't caught him Wanking.

You need to talk to him about your lack of sex life and be honest. You never know he may indulge you in what you seem so desperate to see. Smile

grumpysquash3 · 26/06/2016 00:26

But I'm not upset or angry at him, I just seem to like the adrenaline of waiting.

OK, so just suppose, for once, that he did. What would you do? What would it prove?

each time he moves my heart starts thudding so hard like 'here we go'

Do you think it would be exciting to witness it?

hotdiggedy · 26/06/2016 00:26

One minute it stresses you so much that you cant breathe at the thought of it, now you say you like the waiting part. Hmm.

AnyFucker · 26/06/2016 00:27

Takes all sorts Hmm

KittyLaRoux · 26/06/2016 00:29

Meh one persons silk is another persons rubber AF.

Each to there own Grin

PolaroidsFromTheBeyond · 26/06/2016 00:30

Right Hmm

AShadowLurkingInTheShadows · 26/06/2016 00:30

Are you going to jump up if he dares to move his hand below the covers shouting "gotcha" and pointing at his penis.

GrinGrin

GiddyOnZackHunt · 26/06/2016 00:33

Seriously. It's anxiety. Are you pregnant now? Have a newborn? All times that hormonal chaos can cause all sorts of mayhem in your brain.
You don't need to go in and announce "I lie awake waiting for DH to have a wank" but you can translate that to "I am feeling unreasonably anxious about things that have no basis in fact" and when they ask for examples you can say that you're feeling anxious about your perfectly decent DH and expecting him to behave out of character.
I have terrible anxiety about total nonsense. I know it is nonsense. But I can't stop it.

Northernlurker · 26/06/2016 00:34
Hmm This seems very odd.
WorraLiberty · 26/06/2016 00:35

Errrm...I've genuinely sat here for 5 minutes trying to think of something to type.

But no, I've got nothing Grin Grin

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