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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Disabled/baby change

585 replies

Babyred457 · 22/06/2016 13:10

Have NC for this as I have spoken to friends about it and don't want to be outed!

DH and I are members of the gym and pool at a local hotel and take baby DS (4 months) swimming there. It's not a large pool and has small communal changing rooms for men and women and then a separate family/disabled changing room. This is the only one with a baby change table and nappy bin so it's the one we always use when we take DS. It has 4 lockers in it so obviously if you use them then you take the risk that you might have to wait for someone else to finish before you can get in and get your stuff.

Today when we were swimming there was only one other person in the pool, a woman in her late 50s/early 60s. We left the pool and went into the family changing room and had just started getting DS changed when the woman started banging on the door, shouting that we had to let her in as she was disabled and this was the disabled changing room. DH opened the door, said that it was also the family changing room and that we were changing DS but that we'd be as quick as we could. She carried on shouting that we shouldn't be using the changing room, that she was disabled and we had to let her in. She was incredibly rude and was making such a scene that I said to DH just let her go first, so we wrapped DS in a towel and waited, poor DS was kicking off but so was this woman and I tend to back down when people challenge me. DH however was fuming and went and spoke to the manager (dripping everywhere!) who agreed that it was both a family and a disabled changing room and that it's first come first served, no one has priority.

FWIW the woman no obvious physical disability (although MN has taught me that not all disabilities are obvious) and I don't think there was any reason why she couldn't have waited five minutes, she was also extremely rude. Had she approached at the same time as us I'd probably have let her go first anyway but she saw us leave the pool and go in there with DS (you can see the changing room from the pool!) so clearly then took a deliberate decision to get out herself at that moment and start banging on the door in an extremely aggressive manner.

So who was BU? It's difficult because almost all the restaurants etc I go to have the baby changing facilities in the disabled toilets. I would always happily fold a buggy or get off a bus for a wheelchair user etc but should a person with a baby have to exit a disabled loo or changing room mid-change for a disabled person? After all what would the disabled person do if another disabled person was already using the facilities?

OP posts:
BeyondTellingEveryoneRealFacts · 22/06/2016 17:38

^ that. (Jasons post)

BeyondTellingEveryoneRealFacts · 22/06/2016 17:39

Oh bollocks. Jasons list post!

Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 17:39

Really just curious (not in a snarky way, just genuinely curious) what could be done besides vacating the cubicle because that obviously stopped her in the OP's case, but if the OP hadn't been able to vacate it?

Asking someone to get help, phoning the front desk or waiting for security.

Tiredofsummer · 22/06/2016 17:40

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NavyAndWhite · 22/06/2016 17:41

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Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 17:42

That womens need is not more important then the child

How do you know that?
What if she had medication in her locker?
Or maybe needed a cathater changed and had to access the locker for supplies?
Or needed her pads changed and wanted privacy?

fuckincuntbuggerinarse · 22/06/2016 17:42

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BeyondTellingEveryoneRealFacts · 22/06/2016 17:42

Because...
Disabled changing required by law
Family changing not required by law

I think i'm just gonna c&p this for the rest of the thread!

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 22/06/2016 17:42

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BeJayKayven · 22/06/2016 17:43

Tbf, the op doesn't say at all that she or her dh were intimidated. She said the woman was acting loudly and aggressively so they let her in to spare a further scene.

fuckincuntbuggerinarse · 22/06/2016 17:43

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MrsDeVere · 22/06/2016 17:43

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NavyAndWhite · 22/06/2016 17:43

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BeyondTellingEveryoneRealFacts · 22/06/2016 17:44

"See threads of this sort just brings out the true cunty types I'm afraid."

But that wasnt the aim. Nope.
On that note, where has OP gotten to?

Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 17:44

She could have been loud because she was deaf / had communication issues and trying to get herself understood. Who knows.

Buckinbronco · 22/06/2016 17:45

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WalkingBlind · 22/06/2016 17:45

I'm with NeedAScarf Not one person has said what is expected to happen if the OP was not NT. The lady assumed she wasn't disabled.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 17:46

It's about the ridiculousness of saying verbal abuse is OK because the person who did the abusing was disabled. It's not necessarily preventable- but ITs NOT OK. Particularly when you're on the receiving end. And if you think it should be ok, you're naive

Not one person has said it's okay.

DixieNormas · 22/06/2016 17:46

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Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 17:47

'm with NeedAScarf Not one person has said what is expected to happen if the OP was not NT.

Yeah it's not like i answered this up thread.

fuckincuntbuggerinarse · 22/06/2016 17:47

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WalkingBlind · 22/06/2016 17:47

Apologies someone answered that while i was typing.

Although it indicates to me that the lady needed a carer. And i would likely post about the incident on here and not think i was going to get a flaming because she was disabled.

It's the posters who suggested awful reactions who deserve a flaming.

WalkingBlind · 22/06/2016 17:48

Jason I couldn't type quick enough that's all.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 17:49

Jason I couldn't type quick enough that's all.

Yes it get difficult with fast moving threads doesn't it.

Buckinbronco · 22/06/2016 17:49

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