...to wonder why DH has sent a friend request to what looks like a woman he and his friends met on a recent jolly?

[1million]

Saw it on his FB page as it came up XX and XX are now friends and looks like he friend requested her.... so after doing some research looks like her and her friend who on hols the same time as DH and his friends. So what to do...

Epic drip feed incoming.

Ignoring the tsunami of drip feeding for a minute...

Can you define 'draped'?

And if you want ask him who the girl (woman?) is, that's obviously up to you, but to ask who the pretty woman is, sounds a bit strange.

Like if you didn't consider her to be pretty, that would change everything.

If it were just a Facebook friendship I wouldn't raise an eyebrow.

If there were pictures of my dh with a woman draped around him, I'd hit the roof.

Only on mumsnet you get these sort of responses...

"Can't men and women be friends?"
"Don't you trust your dh,?"
"What's the big deal?"

In real life, every woman I know would be unsettled by this.
But really, it depends on what your relationship is like? Has he mentioned her to you? Has he ever given you reason to be suspicious previously?

I can categorically state that my wife isn't bothered by the fact that I have female friends, in real life or on Facebook, hell there's even one or two pictures on Facebook where the friend(s) have their arms round me etc whilst we posed for a photo.

If my wife sent them a friend request I'd be

IMO it all depends on what 'draped' actually means.

There's 'mates' draped, arms around shoulders, all leaning in for the pic, etc, then there's 'clearly more than mates' draped.

Did he mention meeting this woman whilst on holiday ? I'd be more supisious if he hadn't

Well, before you ask him. get screenshots of the draping pictures and the friend request.

Are brand new friends that you meet on holiday the kind that would 'drape' themselves over you in any manner?

I'm just not that friendly with near strangers.

It sounds like there may well be something going on. You don't drape your arms around someone unless you are very comfortable with them. Have you had concerns before? What do you think he may have got up to on the lads holiday - what goes on tour stays on tour etc.
The fact he has been so brazen may be a good sign that he is innocent, but if he is not clued up on facebook then it may have been him letting his guard down. Try and subtly see if he has added her on whatsapp or something.
It doesn't sound good though. Put it this way, if he announces a mysterious weekend away anytime soon, then I would think about packing my bags.

I think its a bit strange that he sent the request two weeks later tbh. Shes obviously left quite an impression.

It's one thing doing it at the time when you're convinced that the drunken random you're sitting smoking a fag with is gonna be your new BFF, but most people get over it and mentally go back to their real life after a few days.

I know one or two women who drape when drunk; I see it as a validation seeking kind of behaviour rather than actual adulterousness. So I'm not sure the draping in itself would bother me.

I'd definitely ask about it though. Why hasn't he mentioned it before? I would find the secrecy more problematic than the flirtation itself. But I really don't think my DP would cheat on me; I don't know if you feel the same way.

validation seeking kind of behaviour

What are they validating?

Think the whole epic drip feed phrase is getting out of hand.

Most op's are just innocently typing out the foremost things on their mind and forgetting details so they naturally add as they go on.

Mumsnet is a pretty informal place to chat. I wouldn't personally start a conversation with my friend (face to face or text) by outlining every single detail I could possibly think of regarding the topic. It's not a natural way to use language in an informal setting.

Having said that the proximity of the closeness in the picture would have preyed on my mind if they looked overly intimate together. You will know from looking the difference between a friendly hug and something more, we can't tell you that from here. What do your gut instincts tell you?

Don't get too worked up and start thinking the worst or slinging accusations. But by all means have a friendly conversation about his new friend. Good couples share things like that anyway. Only you can judge at this point, we can't judge pictures, body language or tone of voice etc from here.

Trust your instincts.

Agree with you former

He could have sent the friend request a while back, but it's only just been accepted.

I wouldn't like it.

But what does draping mean to the OP?

I ask because a friend of mine once exclaimed, "Why is that woman draping herself all over my husband?"

I looked across the room and she was leaning forward, touching his arm while speaking to him

What made you want to log in to his Facebook account?
(As that's the only way you'd have seen "xxx has accepted your friend request.")

I need to know what draped is.

Is she just arms round shoulders at the back, everyone squeeze into the shot type draped? Or laid across his lap type gazing up into his face type draped?

Friend request wouldnt bother me. Draping? (Depending on what that means) she was the one doing the draping? Odd that he allowed it. I wouldnt be comfortable with men or actually women i just met being all touchy feely with me. Is he normally like that with other women or is this a new thing as far as you know?

I regularly get stuff on Facebook where it announces that one friend I know is now friends with a random unknown.

But it doesn't usually indicate 'accepted' does it?

"He could have sent the friend request a while back, but it's only just been accepted."

That's true Worra.

One can look up the time&date the request was sent in the activity log on a PC tho. Not that I'm suggesting you do obv.

Although I would

"I know one or two women who drape when drunk". The most perfect sentence of the day on Mumsnet. Poetic AND concise and perfectly captures the insecurity!

OP, if the pictures really are inappropriate surely that is far more of a concern/indicator of bad behaviour than the friend request? I don't know anyone of either sex who has a single-sex Facebook feed. It's not like those posh schools Mumsnetters love so much.

So if he doesn't use FB a lot the friend request was probably sent a while ago, not after two weeks.

The draping thing is a lot less great.