To feel frustrated at my DH reaction to paid for holiday?

[Nala1982]

A relative of ours has won some money and paid for all the family to go to Florida. The family is so appreciative and excited all apart from DH. Despite the fact that it is our kid's dream holiday, DH says it is not his idea of a holiday and would we mind if he spent 50% alone away from the disney/water park bullshit we are planning. Yes, I do mind because this family member has paid for us to go and it's cost thousands - and also because I will need him to help me keep an eye on the 2 DC's.

His lack of enthusiasm is actually embarrassing me. The family member who paid has already mentioned that he does not seem interested at all. DH says he appreciates the thought but he would much rather do a cheap holiday to Spain. I am mortified.

What a selfish Dad not wanting to be with his children while they experience a dream come true. They'll remember their first Disney experience for the rest of their lives, and they'll also remember that Dad wasn't there with them. Sometimes being a spouse and parent means doing things you don't particularly want to do, but you do because you love them.

As far as I understand it, he didn't say he wouldn't go at all. Just not the whole time.

I suspect there will be plenty of important moments in their lives when dad was there. And they'll remember that.
Disney? Meh.

Have I missed a post where OP said her husband wasn't going to Disneycrap? Or has that been made up by posters, just so they can be all outraged and "whatabouthtepoorchildren"?

We went last year, I was expecting to hate it, not being a lover of theme parks or Disney, but completely loved it, Disney was fab, so we'll organised, Florida was great, went to Kennedy space Centre, which was excellent. My DH is a grumpy git, and even he liked it, so you never know, he might change his mind when he gets there

I asked my DH. He sat through the Moshi Monsters movie so he's pretty tolerant. Your DH should have spoken out earlier before the tickets were bought and maybe not gone. It's tricky as I understand your need for support in the parks but there is so much else outside the parks... Kennedy Space Center, rodeos, St Petersburg (where Spongebob lives) etc which I can understand your DH wanting to see. It may be that you'll get park fatigued. If you're there long enough you might not want to do theme park all the time. The resort has swimming pools and a dining boat too. Maybe you could arrange some excursions as a compromise? Could someone take the kids whilst you do something else for half a day? Your DH will find it easier to take on responsibility of going to park and find some enthusiasm if he feels he has something to look forward to as well.

No you haven't Garlic Steak, he just said he'd like to not go to half the Disney/ theme park sessions and would rather hang about the hotel pool instead. No expensive other holiday as some people are suggesting. He did say given the choice he'd have preferred a cheap holiday with his wife and kids in Spain to the expensive Disney holiday with lots of inlaws but isn't suggesting he actually does that.

Thanks, rebecca. So ... this is one of those threads that takes on a life of its own, rewrites the OP, and carries on agreeing with itself until it's full

Personally I think he's being ungrateful and sulky! Part of being a parent is doing things that your children enjoy, even if they're not your cup of tea. It's one holiday out of a lifetime!
Having said that, there's nothing wrong with him having some quiet time, reading at the accommodation, resting by the pool, whilst the rest of you are off enjoying the thrills and spills.
Is he so jealous of your relative's good fortune that he cannot just be happy?

Take someone else with you. He is being totally unreasonable, when you have kids you have to do these sorts of holidays at least once, you can't just expect them to go on your kind of holiday all the time. It is a once in a lifetime trip for your kids and he should appreciate that and make it really special for them no matter how much he thinks it feel like torture.
You can go on a cheap holiday to Spain next year.

I just got a quote for Disney out of interest. For my lot? £22,000

Fucking hell.

Every year I spend a week's holiday with the in-laws and extended family, in a location I find dull, doing things I don't enjoy. It doesn't tick any of the boxes I look for in a holiday. I agree to it, I suck it up, because dh, the dcs, and DH's family all love it, and it is cheap because they provide the accommodation.

But if someone had a go at me for not being excited enough or grateful, I would be telling them to fuck right off.

The guy has agreed to go on this holiday that he's not keen on, as clearly everyone else wants to go. Asking for some time away from theme parks and in-laws is not unreasonable. Expecting him to feign excitement is excessively unreasonable.

He's an adult and can make up his own mind about how he chooses to spend his hols, and with whom. If he's going to come along and join in some of it I think you should be pleased. How would you feel being asked to go on a holiday doing something you have no interest in? Why should he be prostrating himself in gratitude? He's being honest. Your kids will still have a great time if they are protected from your feelings of disappointment.
Not done US Disney but the Paris version is really mediocre IMO.

I am going to Florida this year to Disney - it is my idea of a hell on earth holiday. BUT it is the idea of heaven for my child, so I we are going. I think your husband is being selfish and ungrateful

He was offered a free holiday with the extended family...... which he accepted.

I wonder how he'd feel if he offered to take the family out to dinner - but for the starter and the the dessert course his wife insisted on being seated on a seperate table in an entirely different part of the restaurant to him and the rest of the family ?

Is it fine because she did agree to travel to and from the restaurant and sit with them for 50% of the food ?

If not....how is this different ?

I think your husband is being very selfish. It is not about him but it's about your kids. We went to Disneyland California last year and my husband who hates theme parks and anything commercialised, has been converted. He still dislikes commercialism but very much enjoyed the whole Disney entertainment. And the happiness in your children's faces is priceless.

Good luck, and enjoy your holiday. Do not let your husband's sulking dampen you and your kids fun.

I am with hubby. A holiday with in laws is my idea of hell. Plus time away from work is precious. I wfould book the car to give you time away as a family or agree he doesn't come. I have young twins and I could cope on own with my scary family so don't use that as excuse

Apart from Disney, some people need quiet time for themselves and a full entire holiday is quite different from a dinner out. So, no, not the same.

i don't think all kids love Disney and the whole theme park experience do they? Is it really a crime not to take them to see mickey mouse and queue for an hour for a 2 min ride and pay £££ for it? The ads really get on my nerves making out its like discovering Santa is real or something.

Sshhh confused. I expressed similar doubts about the necessity of Disney once on an MN thread and I barely got out alive

It is true that not all kids love theme parks, including Disney.

My DD1 and DD3 enjoy that sort of thing. DD2 doesn't.

My parents never took us (children of the 70s and 80s) to Disney, or to any other theme parks either. It would have been their idea of hell on earth.

Should I be feeling deprived, as some posts seem to suggest? Never occurred to me. Ah well.

I expressed similar doubts about the necessity of Disney once on an MN thread and I barely got out alive

There she is. Get her! I'll bring the rope.

REALLY!... It's a one off, it's a generous gift, not all kids get the opportunity , it's a big place ( something for everyone surely?) as a family surely a few different events/trips etc can be organised, thus negating his overriding need to escape. Just because you are away as a group does not mean you all have to be joined at the hip every minute of the day does it? .. BTW I HATE THEME PARKS.. I hold everyone's coats, bags , phones, money etc whilst they have fun, but I would have gone to Florida in a heartbeat with my DCs , BUT then I know my family would be happy to pepper the theme park visits with other stuff suggested by me or other family members ... Not that unusual ..,

Just 5 and Topsey I'm taking cover. Really though??
I'll prob have to name change won't I.