To feel frustrated at my DH reaction to paid for holiday?

[Nala1982]

A relative of ours has won some money and paid for all the family to go to Florida. The family is so appreciative and excited all apart from DH. Despite the fact that it is our kid's dream holiday, DH says it is not his idea of a holiday and would we mind if he spent 50% alone away from the disney/water park bullshit we are planning. Yes, I do mind because this family member has paid for us to go and it's cost thousands - and also because I will need him to help me keep an eye on the 2 DC's.

His lack of enthusiasm is actually embarrassing me. The family member who paid has already mentioned that he does not seem interested at all. DH says he appreciates the thought but he would much rather do a cheap holiday to Spain. I am mortified.

Florida/Disney it's the same thing when you have kids.

Do people actually go on holiday with the view that each parent will spend exactly 50/50 parenting the kids? How about just going on holiday and enjoying it with your family ??

Primal - not a huge surprise to the DH that a trip to Florida would involve a high percentage of time at theme parks I would have imagined

Why? I nearly booked flights a couple of weeks ago and would have planned one day at Disney - tops. And DH/DS would have refused to go, so it would have just been me and DD.

pulling his weight rather than 50/50

but this isn't a normal family holiday. It's the ops family and compromises need to be made so that all family members have a good time. In this instance the dh may need to do his own thing whereas on a normal holiday where he has more say, he might not.

*refused to go to Disney, that is.

Disney is like the last reaches of hell to me. I did take the children once and let the older children go in alone by bus (teenagers) and we took the youngest for about 2 hours but they didnt' really like it (thank God) so I spent the frst of the 3 days with them at our hotel which was silent and bliss. People differ. Just because your whol family like naff awful Disney does not mean that everyone else has to. He could take the children down wonderful Florida beaches looking at wildlife for example if that's his thing on some days.

Who will be doing the driving? I can't imagine a more hellish thing than being the de facto chauffeur on a holiday I hadn't asked for, in a climate I couldn't stand, visiting a hellish theme park with a crowd of people I could barely cope with for a day at a time.

I would say OK, I'll go,because I wouldn't want to be the bad guy that ruined everyone else's "holiday of a lifetime". But I'd be praying that someone else would have the good sense to veto it before it actually happened.

Perhaps he thought you'd have the good sense to negotiate some ground rules with your family before his holiday from hell got out of hand.

Perhaps he thought you'd laugh about the grimness of it all whilst the pair of you both girded your loins for the sake of the children.

Kimononono
Florida/Disney it's the same thing when you have kids.

In your opinion, there is so much more to Florida.

Some miserable fuckers on here. No, Disney isn't my idea of a relaxing holiday but once in their childhood, I can (and did) sacrifice my precious annual leave to see my kids be truly happy. That made me happy, even though it was hot and crowded and I had to get up early some days. I let them have this holiday because they wanted it and loved it. That overrode any niggly cross feelings about the queues and the humidity. No, I wouldn't do it every year or even ever again, given the cost, but I can give up being a grouch to see them delighted.

I do find all these people who wouldn't go to Disney, or even Florida so have no idea of the reality of what is on offer but "imagine" this and that about it quite amusing.

They clearly think it's about big rides and nothing else .

I've played golf in Florida, swum with Dolphins, visited a safari park, taken a boat ride in the Everglades, watched turtles hatch on a beach, visited Kennedy Space center, visited the oldest for in the US and so on.

When I've visited Disney I tend not to do the big rides or stand in line for anything but I have enjoyed some excellent waiter service meals in world showcase at EPCOT whilst watching a fantastic firework and laser show.

It was a rough job but someone had to do it !!

Not just miserable .....down right selfish in some cases. I guess some parents don't see making their kids happy a priority unless there's something in it for them too

As someone said earlier most parents end up doing things they'd never have done prekids because it benefits their children . Disney is very aware of this which is why there are some very nice upscale options as well as the more family orientated ones. If you want a ridiculously pretentious meal complete with fine wines or a fancy five star suite with butler it's there too.

Personally I can't imagine any sub teen thinking a great holiday is one stuck in "an utterly silent hotel" with their parents whilst the older kids are given free rein to roam free in a theme park. Poor kid .

I've been Florida many times boney

When DC was small it's was all about Disney. The last time we went it was very different as no DC so could do other things So yes that's in my opinion and experience.

It does not make this any different because op family have arranged it. It's still a family holiday. If he didn't want to go he should of said NO instead of being a passive agressive twat.

I'd get bored very quickly of this joker if he came on a family holiday that was paid for him and then he stared to want to fuck off his own.

As for the woman who thinks that it is utterly reasonable for one parent to have no child free time at all whilst her husband disappears off to "recover" "find himself" or just find a bar and get pissed for half the holiday ........In your marriage maybe but not in most people's !!

trafal

I'm at loss there trafalgar.
Are you saying that there is nothing for parents and children that they can BOTH enjoy??? So parents HAVE TO do something like DW just because their dcs want to?

You live in strange world.

I've done plenty with my dcs, even with a chronic illness that stops me from doing a lot. A lot that they have really enjoyed and they have fantastic memories of these holidays.
But no one of them have ever involved DW or rides or places with lots and lots of people.
Saying that it's about parents who can't be bothered to make their dcs happy is ... CRAP.

We are not theme park lovers but have done Disneyto give the kids the experience. We stayed in the coast and did some park days but also had lots of beach and pool days. It is possible to go to Florida and do more than the parks. We had an amazing time, but there is no way I could spend every day in the parks and 24/7 living and breathing Disney.

Hmm I can see both sides here. If it's not your idea of fun then being stuck doing Disney every day for 2-3 weeks would be pretty awful. For what it's worth I went to Florida once for a fortnight once and really enjoyed it and the parks BUT I didn't do theme parks every day. Air boat rides are a lot of fun, as is the NASA station etc. And to be honest the parks involve a lot of walking etc and not many children would cope with it every day of a 2-week break anyway. Could you really not compromise and plan some non-theme park type days out together alongside the Disney stuff?

Also whilst I completely agree that your relative who has paid for it all has been very generous (and I can understand you feeling awkward about DH's lack of enthusiasm) it perhaps would have been better if they have given you some money for a holiday and let you all have a say in where you went. I, for example, would bloody hate to go on a ski-ing holiday and no matter how much I would appreciate the generosity if someone bought me one, I really couldn't muster up any enthusiasm for it.

Ahh have also just read back a bit (sorry hadn't read the full thread before posting) and seen that your extended family is going to. A 2-week holiday with the in-laws / extended family would give me cold feet too to be honest (and I get on with my extended family). I did a 3-night break with DH's extended family once and whilst I made an effort and joined in every day etc in secret I was counting down the days until I go home. Unless you like being in large groups / are quite extroverted 2 weeks with extended family is a big ask. We have been invited to do 2-week holidays with my extended family and I keep coming up with excuses.

MrsTerryPratchett

Me too!!

I can see both sides here. If it's not your idea of fun then being stuck doing Disney every day for 2-3 weeks would be pretty awful

So he should of just said no.

They aren't saying that they will go to the parks every day though - OP has said they will be doing the parks/water parks 60% of the time, so just over every other day, leaving plenty of time for Florida's other attractions or indeed enjoying some downtime by the hotel pool.

Also it depends very much what is meant by "doing the parks". In our case we got there for opening time and using the lack of queues and the ability to get Fast passes, also no desire to see any of the parades so we were pretty much done by lunch time, leaving plenty of time to relax.

The exception was strangely enough both Universal where the parks just didn't seem as full on as Disney, so we were there until 5pm at each park.

We also did the Boggy creek airboat ride, Kennedy space centre and innumerable mini golf courses.

If he's going, then he should go along to the majority of the theme park days, but have the ability to bail out should any DC get tired. Other days can be used for other attractions or chilling, but I can only imagine DS's reaction if told that his cousins were all off to Disney, but instead we were going heron watching on the beach .

I get that some people hate Disney and theme parks. I do understand that these people wouldn't willingly go on holiday there - fine- but if you're getting an expenses paid trip there, or indeed swinging by that location and you have DCs under 10 then believe me the majority of them would like to go and it's just as possible to create happy memories there as anywhere else.

Slightly off thread, but when people mention Disney the favourite Mumsnet response is to come up with some unknown theme park in Holland I think which is meant to have "true magic", because apparently it's not theme parks to blame, just nasty ole commercial Disney.

No-one made the OP's family accept. They have accepted because the majority of the family WANT to go

It appears that for three of them it IS an ideal holiday for one it isn't.

It's a gift - a free holiday - so it's not like the sulking parent is offering a comparable holiday instead. ....and he DID accept and all these conditions have only come about since the flights were booked and not raised before .

The OP hasn't told us if he always demands half the holiday "off" from the other three on other holidays or if this is something new ...

Do your parents expect to be doing things all together everyday? Because that does sound too much.

sykadelic Christ you sound like a charmer.

He should have said from the outset that he didn't want to go OP. I get that he's voicing his feelings to you but when the rest of the family starts to notice it's downright ungrateful and embarrassing for both of you.