To be angry/upset about FB 'congrats'

[44PumpLane]

I know in the grand scheme of life it's not a big deal, and if this is the biggest thing in life I have to worry about I'm hugely fortunate.

However, I'm upset and angry that when I popped on FB last night, two acquaintances had posted their congratulations on my pregnancy!

My husband and I only use our FB pages to keep up with friends and family around the country/world. We don't have relationship statuses on there, we don't post lots of pictures of our lives- we are in the process of telling the people we want to know that we are pregnant but we were never intending to put it on FB.

An old family friend and the mother of a friend posted last night- luckily near midnight so very few people would have seen. I've shut down my FB account for the time being- but who does that?!? I mean really?!? There is literally nothing on the page insinuating anything is going on in my life- if you truly want to congratulate me them PM me!

I feel so angry and upset to think some family who we've not yet told may see it. Plus it's our bloody news to tell!!! Grrr!

Sorry just needed to rant!

what if you quoted the original post I imagine MN were trying to remove all traces of it meaning your post was perhaps also culled. Not because of what you said but perhaps because you included a quote of the original?

I've found out all sorts from people posting other people's news on fb including my niece Bering born & her name
'We are pregnant' is a phrase that makes my teeth itch urrrrgh no!

I haven't rtft so apologies if I've missed something. I would be a bit peeved if I were you. Before I would post anything about major news on a person's feed I would check to see if they'd posted anything about it themselves first. When I was pregnant we'd told lots of friends/family in rl but not put it on fb as I hadn't told work yet. I'd have been a bit miffed if someone else had posted it. Also when I had dd my fil posted about it when we'd not told lots of people yet and dd was in special care unit still so not appropriate. I had bigger things on my mind to be too annoyed and he was just excited and meant well but did get dh to ask him to take it down. So no, yanbu and like every other aspect of life fb has etiquette that most people follow but I suppose like every other aspect of life some people don't know/follow etiquette.

Why are some of you banging on about a comment that OP has had her nose rubbed in umpteen times, has acknowledged it and apologised for her. What else do you want her to do?

By keeping on and on you're just sounding like bullies who've found a target. Stop it.

*apologised for it

YABU if you didn't tell them not to mention anything online.

And you do know that you can amend your Facebook settings to vet what people post on your wall, right? It sounds like you need to do that.

thrillhouse

Check and Check, OP did both of those things and said so in the thread.

thrill I didn't tell them not to mention anything online as I hadn't told these people. They heard from others.

However yes I am aware of the security setting, have mentioned a couple times I'm mostly annoyed at myself at not thinking to change these settings given its so easy and when I reactivity in a few weeks will indeed be updating my settings.

Thank you all

*reactivate

I'd like to thank the OP for apologising for endorsing the deleted ageist post.

If you tell them and it ends up on fb it's your own damn fault.

Thank you Lying - I keep feeling like I need to repeat myself as I'm fully aware it's my own daft fault for not changing my settings, I just hadn't thought about people jumping the gun a bit

We're all guilty of not reading threads properly sometimes, 44, I'm a master of that myself. Also sometimes the thread loads more slowly and there are new posts in that can be missed. It happens. :)

Congratulations on your pregnancy

Today 12:21 2nds

If you tell them and it ends up on fb it's your own damn fault.

Does that mean that the only two options available to people are to either not have any social media (which would be fine), or to never tell anyone anything unless you want it all over social media?

I was under the impression you could have both..... Social media and some privacy..... I must be mistaken.

Just to clear things up a little. We did delete a couple of posts for ageism, and also deleted a couple that were not ageist but quoted the deleted posts.

Our Talk Guidelines are here in case there's any doubt.

Hope this helps and hope the thread can continue naicely!

YANBU at all. I hate stuff like this, it's so thoughtless.

Someone I know posted pics of a wedding she was at yesterday constantly in real time. I thought that was very insensitive too - surely it should be the bride and groom who post the first pics of her dress, them leaving the chapel etc.

The MIL of someone else I know posted a pic of her grandson, fresh out of the womb, still covered in goo (not had kids yet so excuse my terminology!) and lying on the DIL's bare stomach and breasts. She posted this about 3 mins after his birth. I think Facebook actually deleted that after it was reported (not by me!).

I'm the first to admit I can be a bit funny about boundaries etc but I wish people would think before they post things about others on their Facebook. To me it smacks of wanting to make everything about them. Sorry your friends did that and congratulations on your pregnancy!

Thank you for apologising, 44. Hope you've found some useful advice on here.

A friend of mine has stopped anyone else from posting on her FB page because her mother, who has bipolar, floods it with shit when she's in "hyper" mode - so I know you can at least do that.

Good luck with reactivating it later, and congratulations on your pg.

They either posted because they are thrilled at baby news and wanted to spread the joy or because they wanted to be the first to break the news for selfish, attention seeking reasons. Only the OP can guess at the answer to that.

Thing is, you'll discover as you go along (I'm assuming this is your first baby?) that actually no one is as interested in your baby as you are. So, really, as you've said yourself, this is not really a big deal. It all sounds terribly precious to me I'm afraid but I do get it, I really do!

Up thread another poster commented that they called a colleague and 'told' them to inform rest of the team. TOLD them??! Not 'asked'?!

Emmanuelle

Are we now not allowed to put a grin to make a comment an OBVIOUS JOKE? Thought that was the drill?

Answer appreciated.

It wasn't funny, grin or not.

That's fine, whatever. But that means that no jokes or lighthearted comments that evidently are FOND RIBBINGS (hence the grin) are to ever appear on another thread - ever.

Right?

Try making a "FOND RIBBING" comment about someone disabled, or black, and putting a on it and see how far you fucking get with that.