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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to call in sick

241 replies

reallysomepeople · 18/06/2016 20:45

To go away for a few days? Long story short my best friends child was diagnosed with Cancer a few months ago. It's a very aggressive cancer and the odds are not in their favour (9-12 months but we are praying for longer and they are doing really well.) We are all devastated and trying to support/help/love as much as we can.

We (me, my dd and dh) have been asked to go on their make a wish holiday with bf. Obviously I said yes of course we would be honoured. Mentioned it to my boss who knows about the situation and she said maybe but not if it's this summer??? (As its a very busy time.)The dates have come through and obviously it is this summer holiday.

So AIBU to just say sod it I am going and thats it and call in sick for the week? I will add I don't like my job very much and I am looking elsewhere but not a lot about at the minute.

OP posts:
Toofondofcake · 18/06/2016 21:18

The first week of sickness is unpaid and self certified in most jobs and unless your boss has proof you have faked it he cannot raise a disciplinary against you if he suspects you are pulling a sicky.

It is dishonest to call in sick however I get where you are coming from and would probably do the same thing in this scenario.
Go for it. Don't let this be a regret later down the line. Good luck!

Littlemisslovesspiders · 18/06/2016 21:19

If you phone in sick they are going to know.

lougle · 18/06/2016 21:22

Honestly, don't lie and phone in sick. If nothing else, tell your boss that you have to go, so will not be in work between these dates. Let her decide what she does with it.

Liiinoo · 18/06/2016 21:23

Go go go.

Think ahead 10 years- which choice would you prefer to have made`/

GO GO GO

PolitelyDisagree · 18/06/2016 21:24

I am sorry about your friends child but I wouldn't dream of lying to your employers to go on a holiday. It's dishonest.

Arkwright · 18/06/2016 21:24

Tell the truth and ask for it unpaid. I don't agree with ringing in sick if you're not.

MummyBex1985 · 18/06/2016 21:25

OP please don't phone in sick. It's simply not true that your boss needs "proof" you weren't sick to sack you - all they need is a reasonable belief. What if they ring your phone and you're abroad and they get a foreign dialling tone? That would be enough to dismiss you for gross misconduct.

Go above their heads citing exceptional circumstances and if that fails, resign. If neither of those things are an option then don't go.

purplefizz26 · 18/06/2016 21:25

Do you have an immaculate absence record?

I would take an unauthorised absence, say I know it was refused, but i'm going anyway.

Don't think they can't sack you for one absence, though you might get a first and final warning or something.

Lertle · 18/06/2016 21:26

your boss / work are twats Angry have they no heart??

fuck them, ring in sick

I am sorry about your friends dc Flowers xxx

ilovesooty · 18/06/2016 21:27

I agree with lougle

If necessary say it's so important that you need to go. What they do with that is up to them but I think it's better than lying.

Elbadram · 18/06/2016 21:31

I was a volunteer for make-a-wish for 5 years and saw some very sad situations and I have seen a few closer to home too. I've got to say I would go. I would either say to my boss that this was a life or death situation and I would be going (depending on my relationship with them) or I would phone in sick. Realistically the chance of them sacking a trained and hopefully otherwise reliable employee is very slim. It would be terrible moral for other staff for starters.

I am very much a big believer in work to live not live to work though. When you my on your death bed in hopefully a very long time, which will you wish you'd done?

Elbadram · 18/06/2016 21:32

*are on!

KoalaDownUnder · 18/06/2016 21:33

What sooty and lougle said.

Calling in sick is dishonest and will get you fired.

Janecc · 18/06/2016 21:33

I also agree with lougle. I hope they can accommodate you at work.

Original poster
reallysomepeople · 18/06/2016 21:37

Liiinoo- That is how I feel I will regret not going my dh and dds are all so close to the family as well they are our best friends of 15 years

I don't see why saying I am going despite not being granted leave is any better than phoning in sick surely that will definitely get me fired?

OP posts:
fryingtoday · 18/06/2016 21:37

Write a letter to your boss explaining the importance of this time off. Unless a total dragon they will make arrangements to cover for you. This is way more important than work and your boss should see that. I own a company and I would be a pretty shit boss if I was unable to arrange things so a member of staff could take off time for such an important reason.

Obeliskherder · 18/06/2016 21:38

Come up with a plan of how you will work an extra 37 hours in the surrounding weeks. Ask to take zero leave, just the opportunity to work that one week's hours flexibly. Line up one or two people to cover the LMing as a development opportunity. Offer to phone work every day you're away, if you're that indepensible, either to mentor your cover people or do whatever decision making make you so crucial.

If I were your friend, I don't think I'd want you to lie to your boss and put your job at risk for me. (Your friend, of course, might be fine with it for all I know.)

KoalaDownUnder · 18/06/2016 21:38

It is 'better' because it's the truth. Unlike pretending to be sick.

MummyBex1985 · 18/06/2016 21:40

I think there's a big difference between saying "I am unavailable for work due to exceptional circumstances" and faking being sick.

If you fake being sick and are found out, they would rightly terminate your employment due to serious dishonesty. Whereas if you notify them honestly you won't be there and ask them how to deal with it, you'll be AWOL but have mitigating circumstances which could be sufficient to save your job. If you mention that you need the absence because of a disabled friend then they may choose to authorise the absence to avoid a discrimination claim.

LanaorAna1 · 18/06/2016 21:42

Well, you've got to go on the holiday. And it's against the law for employers to tell you when you can and can't take holiday, so book it and remind them of this if they kick off.

However, as your boss is clearly greedy/doesn't want to take temp cover I would offer to do a couple of shifts at a really nasty time as a sop to the nasty cow.

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 18/06/2016 21:43

DH was honest in a similar situation, his boss at the time gave him the time off, I don't know why you would fake sick rather than be honest and explain, it's a pretty good reason!

ilovesooty · 18/06/2016 21:43

One situation is dishonest. The other isn't and I think it's far easier to sack you for lying than for taking the leave particularly if you have evidence of trying to negotiate a workable solution.

EveOnline2016 · 18/06/2016 21:44

I say go for it.

I can cope with being fired, but no way would I ever get over the guilt of cancelling on a dying child.

ilovesooty · 18/06/2016 21:45

Lana it is not against the law for an employer to specify when holidays can be taken.

CoffeeCoffeeCoffeeCat · 18/06/2016 21:47

Absolutely go.

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