AIBU to call in sick

[reallysomepeople]

To go away for a few days? Long story short my best friends child was diagnosed with Cancer a few months ago. It's a very aggressive cancer and the odds are not in their favour (9-12 months but we are praying for longer and they are doing really well.) We are all devastated and trying to support/help/love as much as we can.

We (me, my dd and dh) have been asked to go on their make a wish holiday with bf. Obviously I said yes of course we would be honoured. Mentioned it to my boss who knows about the situation and she said maybe but not if it's this summer??? (As its a very busy time.)The dates have come through and obviously it is this summer holiday.

So AIBU to just say sod it I am going and thats it and call in sick for the week? I will add I don't like my job very much and I am looking elsewhere but not a lot about at the minute.

[PolitelyDisagree]

I think that's a good call OP. Ideally, really hope your boss gives you the time off. Might putting your request I writing and cc'ing more senior managers help. That might, at least, ensure they give you a considered reply rather than your manager just giving you the brush off.

Fingers crossed

[Buckinbronco]

"Yesterday 21:01 PolitelyDisagree

I'd be curious as to how lying to the employer would work out.

Would the OP have to call in sick on the Monday morning from her hotel room, then spend the week avoiding a sun tan and all photos? Would she have to post fake updates on her social media about being sick and have to tell her family to do the same?
Then when she returned to work would she manage to sound convincing when collegues ask her if she is feeling better? Would she feel guilty when she signs her employees statement of sickness?

I couldn't do it myself."


Surely anyone with half a brain would hide status updates from collegues IF they were daft enough to have them on their social media in the first place, and disable the ability to be tagged for a week? It's simple!

Tbh, If she says she's sick and and doesn't have a track record of sickness that would make this an issue, what can they do? They can't prove she wasn't sick.

Of course they could sack her anyway and take the chance of tribunal but it doesn't sound like the OP cares much anyway

[ilovesooty]

There wouldn't be a tribunal. She's been there less than two years and they can simply sack her.

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

You do not have to explain yourself



Still, OP's said she has no problem with lying and doesn't really care, so god knows how it'll all turn out

Takes all sorts I guess ...

[Buckinbronco]

Yes true that. Depends on the company I guess. Mine wouldn't do this in a million years (big corporate) but some less professional places in sure would

[PolitelyDisagree]

Buckinbronco.
Of course someone 'with half a brain' could sort out their Facebook status but you would probably have to make sure everyone going on the holiday was happy to do it too. It depends on how they all use Facebook.

Anyhow, it's irrelevant now as the OP has decided to be honest with her company.

[Buckinbronco]

You just disable other people's ability to tag you. Then it doesn't matter what the other people on the holiday do.

[southeastdweller]

I'm no H.R expert but I'm pretty sure that regardless of FB, the manager could give OP a warning after she comes back from the sickie as the initial holiday request was denied.

[Buckinbronco]

How would the manager know she wasn't sick?

You can't just decide that a employee wasn't sick when they said they were. Sadly it's something you have to suck up unless you have proof. You can either mark their card and bide your time or sack them, but very few professional HR depts would support a manager doing this.

[lougle]

How about personal integrity? It shouldn't matter if it can be proven that you were sick or not. If you're sick, you're sick; if you're not, you're not.

[Buckinbronco]

Personal integrity isn't relevant to whether or not the company can take action against you for having a week off sick.

[StealthPolarBear]

"Today 14:16Buckinbronco

Yes true that. Depends on the company I guess. Mine wouldn't do this in a million years (big corporate) but some less professional places in sure would"
Why do you think that is? They need people in the role doing the job. They're not offering jobs to give people ways to amuse themselves during the daytime.

[AliensInUnderpants12]

I don't know what the right answer is but I was told I couldn't have annual leave or unpaid leave to go a my best friends funeral so I told my team leader if it wasn't authorised I would leave and get a job elsewhere. Sorry but just because my best friend wasn't my next of kin there was no way I would miss her funeral. Miraculously I was granted annual leave 😑 Maybe companies and managers should have a think about the fact that their employees are human beings.

[Buckinbronco]

Why do I think what is stealth?

[StealthPolarBear]

Why do you think the less professional (smaller?) Companies are likely to take a harder line? Because they simply can't afford to indulge the types who say "I am taking leave whether you like it or not" I'd guess

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

Personal integrity isn't relevant to whether or not the company can take action against you for having a week off sick

Perhaps not - although things which a lack of integrity can lead to can certainly trigger dismissal

Personally I've always found integrity essential to any kind of workplace success, and while it's true that OP's told us how very hard she works and how important her role is, she's also been open in saying she's relaxed about lying ... so who knows what the truth actually is?

[Buckinbronco]

Oh yes I agree stealth. I'm not passing judgement on what they do or why they do it, I'm responding to posts on here saying its gross misconduct and she'll get sacked.

I'm Just pointing out a company can't decide you're not sick after you've self Cert'd just because they think is suspicious.
Either they have proof, or they are less ethical (because don't forget - one can get sick coincidentally at the same time they have been refused leave) and sacks them.

Those kind of companies don't tend to attract much integrity from their staff though, to be fair .

[reallysomepeople]

puzzledandpissedoff- I don't have an issue with lying to THIS company over THIS. I am not usually ok with lying in general.I do work bloody hard and go far and above what I am contracted. 7 days this week, late nights, early mornings and I am on call every day from June- Sept! I have no issue lying to this person because they couldn't give a shit about me or my wellbeing, despite the freaking company ethos being about caring for individuals. I feel like I am in a horrible position that any manager who was a decent person (knowing as mine does how badly affected I have been by this diagnosis, not because it has affected my work at all but because I told her ),would attempt to try and find a solution. She really is not very nice, she has had 2 of my team in tears today, both who are threatening to walk out (leaving me with even more work) and today I could have happily told her to stuff it and gone as well only for the fact I can't really afford it.

[ImperialBlether]

I just don't think you can go. You cannot afford to lose your job over a four day holiday. If the summer is your busiest time, why could you all not go in September? You say your friend's daughter is luckily doing well at the moment.

Why can't you go somewhere for a weekend with them?

[gandalf456]

From your last post, I might just risk it, personally. I think this holiday is very important to you. There will be other jobs. Yes, if you lose it, it will be difficult but these things normally sort themselves out in a way a terminal cancer diagnosis won't.

As for your boss, if you haven't appealed to her better nature by now, with what you have told her, you never will. Of course, it will be awkward for her but she will survive and things won't be for her as difficult as things are with you.

No one is indispensable. If you left, died, whatever, you would be replaced. She is just digging her heels in. It's just a few days of her company's lifetime.

[PurpleDaisies]

I think this holiday is very important to you. There will be other jobs. Yes, if you lose it, it will be difficult but these things normally sort themselves out in a way a terminal cancer diagnosis won't.

Really?! The op is going to find it easy to find a new job having just been dismissed for abusing the company's such leave policy? Reckon the boss will give her a good reference?

[gandalf456]

Who's to say they'll know anyway? How can they prove it?

From what OP has written here, I don't think I'd want to work for them either if they can be so inflexible. This isn't just about a week in the sun. It's a dear friend's child's last holiday. I cannot believe the attitude of OP's boss. I just cannot.

[PurpleDaisies]

*From what OP has written here, I don't think I'd want to work for them either if they can be so inflexible.
I understand that-if she wants to resign ahead fo the holiday and look for another job, fair enough. Calling in sick when you're not is absolutely not on-she will be paid for going on holiday.

[gandalf456]

What do you think of her boss's attitude?