AIBU to call in sick

[reallysomepeople]

To go away for a few days? Long story short my best friends child was diagnosed with Cancer a few months ago. It's a very aggressive cancer and the odds are not in their favour (9-12 months but we are praying for longer and they are doing really well.) We are all devastated and trying to support/help/love as much as we can.

We (me, my dd and dh) have been asked to go on their make a wish holiday with bf. Obviously I said yes of course we would be honoured. Mentioned it to my boss who knows about the situation and she said maybe but not if it's this summer??? (As its a very busy time.)The dates have come through and obviously it is this summer holiday.

So AIBU to just say sod it I am going and thats it and call in sick for the week? I will add I don't like my job very much and I am looking elsewhere but not a lot about at the minute.

[Citizensmith1]

lougle & Oysterbabe, tell that to the people on zero hours contract working in places like Sports Direct where they're treated like shit and made to do training without getting paid, or spending an hour UNPAID to queue up for a security check. Their labour is being stolen from them by their employers - that's a lot worse.

[ScrewyMcScrewup]

Ignore the pearl clutchers.

Call in sick and go.

[CoolforKittyCats]

Ignore the pearl clutchers.

Why be so condescending? Nothing to do with 'pearl clutching'

[southeastdweller]

I echo everyone who's said not to do the sickie and be honest with your boss about the reasons for going on the holiday. If she still doesn't authorise the time off then go to H.R and if no joy there just resign or take unpaid leave if you can. If you don't go on the holiday you'll likely regret it for the rest of your life.

Taking the sickie would be obvious, could lead to a warning or dismissal and possibly hinder your future job prospects.

[ilovesooty]

Screwy couldn't you offer an alternative view without resorting to being offensive?

[AuntJane]

If you have a Welfare team, speak to them. They should support your application for leave.

[PurpleRainDiamondsandPearls]

It's not about clutching pearls (you don't have to be unpleasant because it's AIBU) but OP asked for advice and some of us wondered the impact of losing her job on her family.

[Blankiefan]

It's a tough one but if someone in my team was refused holidays and then phoned in sick in the same days, We'd definitely follow up with potential disciplinary action (it happens probably once a year in my team of around 60 people).

Are you prepared to accept this consequence? It's not really about morality. It's about whether or not you can deal with the olpotential outcome.

[AnecdotalEvidence]

if someone in my team was refused holidays and then phoned in sick in the same days
The days have not been specified yet

[ADishBestEatenCold]

Go.

I think you have already decided that anyway, really, and few could argue against that, in these circumstances.

Inform your boss of the dates, explain the circumstances again (perhaps in writing as someone suggested upthread), and state that you require to take annual leave (or unpaid leave, if you don't have enough AL left) to allow this.

Then deal with the response.

You may be pleasantly surprised, or you may be looking for your next post a bit earlier than you anticipated ... but at least you will be looking for that next post with a 'clean' work record ... something you wouldn't have, if you lied, called in sick, then got caught.

[Janecc]

I would do what Caravano says. Can you get some advice from an employment lawyer? Maybe ask question in legal?

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

Thing is, whether the boss knows the exact dates or not, it'll almost certainly come out if OP lies - if only because it usually does. As an employer I've been very generous with requests for leave, even when the circumstances have been a bit unusual, but if lied to I would take action and I have

In the end it's nobody else's place to tell someone what to do, but if that person chooses to lie and suffers consequences as a result ... well, there's not much point in then moaning about it, is there?

[hilbil21]

If you can afford to lose your job for gross misconduct then I would go - otherwise I wouldn't. Their view will be, however sad the circumstances, it's not your immediate family....

[manicinsomniac]

Is it that nobody is allowed time in the summer holidays or just that so many people have already booked it off so it is very busy for those of you left?

If the latter then could you ask around your colleagues to see if anyone will trade a week with you. For a situation as exceptional and tragic as yours I would happily claim on travel insurance and cancel a holiday (or hell, even lose the money, it's nothing to a child's last wish is it?!) so that you could have the leave instead.

Worth asking. If not, I'd go down the honest but firm route and if they say they'll sack you for it, I'd (probably) resign.

[Enidblyton1]

You definitely should go on the trip - you'll regret it if you don't. But there may be other options than calling in sick.

What sort of work do you do - are you able to offer to do extra hours before/after the week you need to take off? How many people do you work with - can anyone else cover your work in return for you helping them out another time?

If you can go to your boss with a solution, boss might be more open to your request. Have you offered to take a weeks unpaid leave?

As it's summer, surely lots of people are already booked to take annual leave when their children are on summer holiday? Is this the issue? Too many people already on leave? If so, always worth asking around if any of your colleagues is able to swap. Might not be possible, but no harm in asking.
Also, if everyone in your workplace knows about your predicament, it will make it much harder for your boss to refuse you the time off. It will make your boss seem very mean! Some of your colleagues might stick up for you and put pressure on the boss?

Failing that, I would seriously consider having a very frank conversation with you boss and saying it's so important you attend this trip that you will have to consider handing in your notice. Chances are, they won't want to lose you (it's expensive and time consuming to recruit new staff). Though do it in a respectful way which makes your boss feel sympathetic, not a huffy/demanding way which is likely to annoy the boss!!
If money is tight/other job prospects slim, you may decide this approach is too risky!

Good luck - what a horrid position to be in. Hope it all works out for you. I really wouldn't recommend calling in sick though - you will feel guilty and high chance of getting caught with dire consequences. There has to be a better way....

[PurpleDaisies]

I agree with others-don't lie unless you're happy to lose your job and be given a bad reference for behaving deceitfully.

You're in a horrible position and I really sympathise. Book another chat with your boss and see if there's any way to sort out the leave-negotiating with other colleagues who have booked holiday at the same time you want off.

[reallysomepeople]

Thank you all the replies.
No one is allowed time off over the summer period June- September unless its an emergency. I am the most senior member of staff in my dept and my boss doesn't have a clue on how to manage it. My team would cope without me but if there was a problem/emergency my boss would have to step in at any time of the day /week. I have already told the family we would come (as I thought given the circumstances work would ok it. )
The reason I was thinking about calling in sick , is that we can't really afford me to resign but calling in sick would a)Not 100% lose my job (hedging my bets) b)give me longer to find a new job looking now. c) The process for dismissal is loooong winded suspension/investigation so giving me more time to look. They are so obsessed with ensuring that they are 'fair' and protect their image supposedly caring environment/business so I might be able to argue mitigating circumstances.
No welfare team and HR manager is close personal friends with my boss!

[PurpleDaisies]

calling in sick would a)Not 100% lose my job (hedging my bets) b)give me longer to find a new job looking now. c) The process for dismissal is loooong winded suspension/investigation so giving me more time to look.

Trying to find a new job when you've been suspended for lying about being off sick is a daft idea. Do you think your boss won't mention it on her reference?

[Heidi42]

yadnbu you go xxx Have a wonderful time and bgr the boss xxx

[zippyswife]

I wouldn't hesitate to go sick in your situation. Literally would not give it a second thought.

[PurpleDaisies]

That's all well and good heidi but the op says she can't pay her bills if she doesn't have a job. "Bgr the boss" doesn't usually satisfy mortgage companies that haven't been paid.

[mumto1babyboy]

Your boss sounds a bitch!! .. Imagine if it went to the papers, the company would find hard to employ!! They can't dismiss u you could take them to a tribunal but that would cost money! Tell her your going and let her decide what to do! Have no regrets xx

[EveOnline2016]

Can you work remotely. Say you are going on Hoilday and will take a laptop and mobile phone if you are urgently needed.

[ilovesooty]

They can't dismiss u you could take them to a tribunal but that would cost money!

Of course they can dismiss her. Don't be ridiculous. That's why people are trying to advise her of ways she might be able to take this time without being sacked.

[Heidi42]

op of course you must go, do not even listen to the doom and gloomers